Anyone with experience of St Mary's Paddington?

[Petsville]

I'm due in August, booked to have the baby at St Mary's. Has anyone had a baby there recently, and what's it like? I'm very nervous about it as I had a bad experience on a ward there last year - had to have a termination for triploidy, and they said I couldn't go home till a doctor had seen me (fair enough) but then left me alone for 6 hours, not letting me drink anything (after I'd been throwing up all morning because of the drugs, so effectively a whole day with no fluids) in case I needed a D&C, before a doctor had time to come and have a look at me. I only managed to get seen after 6 hours by threatening to discharge myself - got the impression that nurses thought I was a total nuisance and shouldn't have been wasting the doctor's time or theirs. I think the problem was basically understaffing, so absolutely no point complaining, but I'm dreading having the baby. At least when I had the termination DH was there to look after me but if I have to be on the post-natal ward I'll be on my own at night. Please come and tell me what it's like - if it's awful I may need to think about adding a bit to the mortgage and going private because I'm far more afraid of the hospital than I am of giving birth.

Hi Petsville, I had dc#1 at St Marys and then dc#2 at The Lindo (private wing at St Marys) a few years later. I can honestly say I had no complaints about the birth of dc#1 at St Marys, midwives were great etc (though obviously the whole process was a giant SHOCK re: pain, how long it went on for etc). Post natally it was horrible, but dd ended up in SCBU who were fantastic. For dc#2, I had ante natal depression and I found the ante natal (NHS) care at ST Mary's just didn't want to know. I feel I would have been looked after if I had placenta previa, had I been bleeding, had I had gestational diabetes, etc, any of the major, recognized complications. But re: my depression, they were basically not interested. I didn't see the same person twice, I had to explain everything EVERY time I went for an appt, they screwed up my scans, so I jumped ship to private, which was (I must say) a complete JOY. Consistency of care, yes. My fears and concerns were listened to and addressed, I knew who was going to deliver my baby, the midwives were lovely, post natal care excellent. DS didn't need to go to SCBU, but if he had done, he would have gone to the main St Marys unit (as dd did), can't fault it at all.

I don't intend to have any more children, but if I did, I would do whatever it took to go private again, with the same consultant. It was a completely different experience for me. Any questions, please just ask.

Thanks for your post, orangina. Interesting to hear about your experience of their treatment of depression - one of my main worries about having a really bad experience is the prospect of post-natal depression, especially since DH is much keener on having a baby than I am, so I'm expecting the first six months or so to be hell even if the birth goes as well as it can. I might seriously think about the Lindo.

I've got no complaints about the ante-natal care so far, but that's at least partly because this time round I'm being treated as high risk so I've been seen by the Fetal Medicine Unit, who are fantastic, rather than the ordinary ante-natal clinic. If all is well at the next scan I'll go back into the ordinary ante-natal system from 24 weeks onwards.

I'm not sure how much a nhs/private birth will affect your post natal depression chances, unless the birth itself is particularly traumatic (which could be the case either way, depending on how it all goes). I was worried that my depression would turn into post natal depression, that I wouldn't bond w my baby etc, but more or less as soon as he was born, I felt SO much better, it was as though the tap of toxic depression chemicals was switched off at that stage. Bizarre.

My only advise to you at this stage is if you are considering going private, you will need to find a consultant who can take you sooner rather than later. They do get booked up v quickly and there is NO point shelling out all that cash if you do not feel comfortable with your marvellous consultant for whatever reason. I jumped ship at 28 weeks, found a consultant who could take me, but when I went to meet him with dh for the first time, we both agreed that if we weren'r really comfortable etc with him, we wouldn't go down that route. He was lovely in the end, and would heartily recommend him, but there are some consultants in there I wouldn't be keen on (rather patriarchal, old fashioned, factory line, etc).

If you are really worried about post natal depression, perhaps it might be worth thinking about getting some help post natally. I know that there are some doulas who offer post natal help as well as help at the birth itself.

Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

(advice)

It's not that I think going private will affect my chances of post-natal depression directly - if I'm going to get it, I'm going to get it, and the only thing I can do at this stage is be aware of the risk. (I'm not depressed now, just anxious about the hospital, and I don't have a history of depression, so really I'm just planning for the worst.) But having had the experience of the termination, which I'm sure was made worse by the hospital being so unhelpful (I had flashbacks and nightmares for three or four months and still feel pretty sick when I think about it), I'm afraid that being badly looked after post-natally might make matters worse, or make me really resent the baby / DH for putting me through it, and going private might reduce the risk of that (if that makes sense).

I understand what you are saying. From my experience, I felt that the post natal wards at St Marys were pretty grim. During the day, they were fine, the staffing levels felt adequate, you could have visitors, and even thought you were one of 6 or 8 in a ward, it was quite nice being in a room with a load of other people in the same position (ie, they had just had their babies). The loos and showers were SHOCKING though (dirty, bloody, filthy, just terrible....). At night, after the visitors had gone etc though, I did feel it was a different story. Everyone moaned about the night shift midwives, but I felt they had a really bad deal. There were about 2 of them on duty to look after 40? women.... plus all the dramas of night time, with everyone's babies crying, one woman dropped her baby from a bit of a height onto the floor, terrible screams, hysteria, midwives v angry w the mother for having had the baby in bed w her and not in the plastic box cot etc. Plus I found the breastfeeding support not good at ALL in the post natal ward.

At the Lindo, post natally it was a different story. Private room w CLEAN en suite bathroom, full supplies of everything you needed (towels, sts, disposable knickers, etc), regular checks by your consulatant and midwives, and (I thought) EXCELLENT breast feeding support. If I could complain about anything, it was that perhaps one might feel a bit isolated in the private room, you never met any of the other mothers etc. That for me was the main difference. And if your baby does end up in SCBU, it is in a different building from the Lindo Wing, rather than the main post natal wing, where you can trudge upstairs in your dressing gown to SCBU.

It does rather sound as though you would be happier with the post natal Lindo situation. Maybe it is worth trying to find a consultant now and having a preliminary chat with him/her, explain your fears etc and see how it all makes you feel. To be honest, as soon as we decided to move over to the private thing, I felt SO much better, and though my depression was still there, the general hysteria that had accompanied it more or less disappeared. Don't leave it until 30+ weeks, when you decide you can't bear it any more, by which time you will be hard pushed to find a consultant who will be able to take you who you feel comfortable with.....

Thanks for the advice - will think about it and perhaps make a preliminary appointment with the consultant if things are looking all right at the 20-week scan (don't want to do anything before that as after what happened last time it would be counting chickens).

Best of luck.

I wouldn't say it's exactly "affordable" - we could do it if we really thought we had to. However, if the post-natal wards at St Mary's are as bad as they sound we might have to - especially as DH really doesn't want to have to go home and leave me and the baby in hospital, knowing I'm petrified of it and not likely to be well looked after. Presumably I could discharge myself early but not the baby, so the choice would be between going home and leaving the baby in hospital and gritting my teeth and sticking it out till the baby's allowed to go home? If so, not much of a choice, really.

Anyway, will discuss it with the consultant at the scan - St Mary's has a midwife-led birth centre where husbands can stay overnight, and if I'm allowed to have the baby there that might be the best compromise as I'd avoid the post-natal ward, which is the bit I'm most worried about. Not very optimistic about my chances of getting in, though - even if I weren't labelled high risk, it's only got five beds.

Petsville; if it is post natal you are worried about, there is a third option. At the risk of sounding like part of a John and Lizzies cheerleading squad, I had my birth there and second everything QTpie said. They offer a post natal service where you can have your baby elsewhere and then transfer there for postnatal care thereby reducing costs significantly. It's close to St Mary's so could be a viable option?

Really? Even after a Caesarean if I need one? How does that work? Googled it just now but couldn't see anything on their website.

Details here. I'd ring them up for a chat - they will be happy to talk you through it. It truly is the most wonderful, wonderful place.

Thanks very much for link and further details of J&L. No NICU/SCBU is a definite downside, though: I'm clearly pretty bad at this business, so I'm not counting on the baby being healthy any more than I'm counting on the birth going smoothly for me. Might consider the post-natal care - or if the Lindo do something similar then that would be ideal. Another thing to discuss at the 20-week scan.

Hi all,

I went for my first MW appointment today (NHS) and was sooooo appalled.. i spent 3 hours there and was dealt with by a student midwife who couldn't speak english and NO one else - she didn't know any answers and quite frankly has totally freaked me out about giving birth there...

Does anyone know how much it is to give birth privately at the Lindo wing - this is something i would definitely consider now.

thanks x

Hi emsken.... I did the whole jump ship from nhs to private at St Marys for exactly the reasons you have just given. Call the Lindo Wing, tell them your EDD and ask what consultants might be available. I was looked after by Mr Miskry, who I can't recommend highly enough. Didn't feel part of a factory line (which people who are being looked after by some of the other "big names" complain of), he was respectful, not patronising or patriarchal, and a good laugh. Listened to my concerns, addressed them, really excellent.

Cost? Erm, quite a lot! I would say allow £10k for a natural (non cs) birth, and £12k plus for a cs (longer stay etc). Lindo take a deposit for their bit, and you pay the consultant separately for his/her bit. Mine miraculously came in under the amounts above (woohoo!) but best to be prepared really.

CAT me if you want any more details, phone numbers etc.

(emsken have we spoken about this before on another thread?)

Hi there, i had my DS1 at st marys 5 weeks ago, and quite frankly, would recommend you go elsewhere. I had high hopes of the hospital, and really wish i could say more positive things, but I cannot, and the experience has left me upset and feeling very vulnerable - not something i would wish on anyone else.

(btw, sorry about the typing, one finger typing whilst holding grumpy baby)

The antenatal care was sketchy and 'unjoined up', saw a different person each time, who often assumed the previous midwife would have covered certain things, which hadn't happened, and made me feel ridiculous for chasing things up. They had very strong and archaic views about labour, and said several times that i would have to have a 'lying on my back' type of delivery due to me having pelvic girdle pain (which is actually the last position i should have been recommended, my physio was horrified)

Worse than that, they failed to diagnose a breech back -to-back position, even when I had questioned their assertion that he was in the right position (so why can I feel movements like limbs where you are saying the skull is?!). This was only found on my due date, and I had to have a c section, which I found really difficult to cope with, as I had visualised at least starting off in their beautiful birth centre.

The c section itself was done very well by absolutely wonderful surgeons/ anesthetists and high dependency unit midwives - amazing and could not fault this part of the care. such a shame the midwifery let down the total process pre and post birth.

The post natal care was absolutely appalling and has left me feeling shaky and really upset. The low level of care is obviously endemic to the system as when i was being transferred from the high dependency unit to the post natal ward, the doctor warned me that i would have to ask for the pain relief she'd prescribed, & that even if they said no, to tell them, that i knew i had had it prescribed, as they often try & say that the strongest pain relief has not been prescribed - and yes, this is exactly what happened, at 3am after a c section & losing 2 pints of blood i was there trying to convince them to give me the pain relief the doctor had prescribed me!!!

On another 2 occasions the midwives tried to not give me pain killers that i knew had been prescribed, as they decided 'i didnt need it' - even though i saw crying in agony, from c section & also from pain of spd, which got worse directly after c section, in part because i had no help moving around & looking after the baby, so strained hips, back & pelvis (having physio now still die to this).

The midwives refused to note down anywhere that i was suffering more from pelvic girdle pain, and it was only when i kicked up a huge fuss, and asked every person who came by the ward to please help me (and i mean everyone!) that i saw a doctor who prescribed even stronger pain killers/ muscle relaxants, and got a physio to see me.

They also forced me to give my baby bottles of formula, and one literally laughed at my attempts to breast feed, and threatened to 'take my baby away and put him in the special care baby unit' if i didnt let them feed him bottles [did as they asked but later found out this really wasn't as necessary as they made out, but alot easier for them than trying to support someone breastfeeding - 2 other women on the ward also ended up bottle feeding. It took me a huge effort and weeks of expressing and crying and failing to finally get back to breast feeding... ]

and i could carry on, lots of other things too, but you get the idea - not good at all. overall, i was treated like a stupid demanding waste of time by the midwives, was belittled and made to feel awful, at a time when i most needed support and a good standard of care. I am not that demanding, and used to the usual NHS care, as i have had alot of operations for an on going condition (not pregnancy related), so didn't have over optimistic expectations or anything either...

I would definitely go somewhere else for nursing/ midwife care, unless you can use the birth centre.

AlsieSusie, v. sorry about your experience, but thanks for posting. I think I'm going to have to go private - I'd be surprised if they let me go to the birth centre, though I haven't been able to get an answer from them on this yet (just been transferred back into the normal ante-natal system after being treated as high-risk for the first half of the pregnancy and seen by the excellent Fetal Medicine Unit). I was thinking of transferring to John and Lizzie's for postnatal care, as suggested earlier on this thread, but since they've closed that's no longer an option.

What about UCL? I wouldn't go to John's and Lizzie's simply because my friend's DD had to go to NICU and she had post-partum complications so had to stay in at J&L while her DD was at tommy's for three days

I had my DC at St Marys and the post-natal care was dreadful but up to then, they were excellent - I had a lot of complications and so was seen by an excellent consultant throughout

I have to say i had my baby at John and Lizzies and even thought it was a somewhat traumatic emergency CS, i look back with the fondest of memories. Although they have recently had to close the birht unit they are still offering a level of consultancy led care, so i would definatly call them up as well as Lindo wing. They really were absolutely amazing there - it was worth every penny and luckily insurance paid for the bulk of it due to the emergency.
Of course, the drawback is the lack of emergency care - so that is something to be considered. Luckily we didnt need it but after it was declared that i needed the csection i was in theatre within 10 mins. I'd most definatley go back.

Thank you all for your contributions. I have exactly the same problem, spent nearly 6 months trying to convince myself it was OK and that when I really need it the staff at St Mary's will be up to the task. But I get depressed whenever I go there, during the day for appointments... and the other night I went to the Labour Ward for a check up as I was concerned with some pain I had. I was taken 'care' of in an appalling way, along with the other women there, some of them crying bec they felt so let down... Until now I was too busy trying to avoid facing the fact that I need to do something about it, and it is VERY late to do so: I'm in my 34th week... I asked my GP a long time ago how I could change and she just didn't want to help me out. But now I'm so desperate it has to happen! What's the way out? Thanks in advance for your help!

Have found the posts here v interesting to see others experiences of st marys. Glad you are going to find a different combination of care for you -lots of good wishes for a positive birth experience, hope you find the right combination of care for you!

Dear AisieSusie,

Your experience at Mary's sounds horribly like mine at The Royal Free back in 2008- nothing much changes, it seems and wherever you end up, it's the luck of the draw-if there are lots of women that day in labour, if there is a shortage of staff, if you get the crappy bed, if you're on an open ward with babies screaming all night, if if if...but you could as easily go back to the same ward a year or so later for another baby and have a completely different experience.
It has been really interesting reading all you lovely people's accounts and I thank you for this.
I want another baby and it has taken me over 2 years to even come 'round to the idea because my 1st birth was so horrendous- medically induced 'emergency' CS which could have been easily avoided but they wanted me to be quick and so on...you've probably all heard it before, so I'll spare you the details.
Mary's is my local hozzie and I have a great fondness for it but know very little about the labour wards.
Yes, it's old and rundown, so the aspect my not be too nice- certainly the birth ctr is lovely in comparison, if I ever manage to get to one this time.
Does anyone know if you can have your baby on the NHS side at Mary's, but then opt for a private post-natal care and room afterwards?
I found the post-natal bit at the Royal Free shocking- at a time when a person is most needing her rest and courage, they strip you of any dignity you may have left and leave you helpless, in pain, unable to get out of bed, with a screaming baby too far to reach.
Thanks for any info in advance :-)
Best of luck to all of those who are about to pop- hooray for sites like these where others can lend their support, I say!
And for what it's worth, to those of you who have had a bad experience like me- yes, you may have flashbacks, nightmares and feel really traumatised about it for a long time- it does get better and even if it takes you almost 2 and a half years to even consider having another baby again (like me), one day you will :-)
xx