Husband not in the mood for sex

[newmummy2009]

All the posts show the husbands are desperate for sex after wife has given birth- I have exactly the opposite problem. My husband doesn't want to have sex- he says he is tired! He wasn't much into sex while I was pregnant, was worried about hurting the baby?! We have done it only a handful of times since baby was born in October. It was fine- no fireworks, but nice. Feel unattractive and unloved. Am I making too big a deal of this?

i havn't given birth yet but my husband stopped having sex with me as soon as i started to show, he says it's stuff going on in his head but i think it's just me so i know a bit how you feel. i think some men find it really hard adjusting to your new role as a mother, it's not something they connect with sex. that doesn't help you though!
can the two of you get away for the night to a hotel or something and remember who you were pre-baby?

My hubby also had issues when pregnant and also whilst BF. I think he thought of me differently due to it all during that time.

Agree with Rara, can you get away somewhere nice for a break, leave the baby with grandparents?

Or go out for the night somewhere nice and then see how things go etc.

Thanks for the reply ladies. Yeah I think a night away would be nice, just feel a bit guilty leaving baby. Will hold out til baby is six months then book a night in a hotel. Feel better just having said issue 'out loud' as it were!

I think we often (as Women) forget the impact on the DP.

You need to talk to Him.

My DH didn't want sex when I was BF as he thought touching/breast stimulation/sucking my nipples was part of making love; and as I was producing milk, he would deprive the baby of food if he "interfeered"(sp ???). He thought and believed that my breasts were for the exclusive use of my child; and he could not, or would not impinge.

He also then related how he felt inadequate/ineffectual during the (difficult) birth.

I realise now that it was actually 9 months before we had sex after the birth of our one and only child.

I would advise you to speak about your concerns with your DP.

A Woman often feels rejected in this circumstance; and the DP feels that he is being respectful.

The birth of a child affects both partners, so communicate and ask him what he is feling/thinking.