MLU or home birth? (Do we really all just reenact our mother's labours?)

[schipo]

Apologies in advance for a bit of a long and complicated question but would really value your opinions on my birthing options:

I've heard many times that there's a high chance that we get the kind of birth our mothers had.

My mother had two births. First one was late after her waters broke a week early. The baby was also breech and delivered with forceps and my mum spend about 3 weeks in hospital recovering. Second was an easier birth as far as I can tell but with a retained placenta.

I'm wondering if the fact that my mother's births weren't easy makes it unlikely I'll have an easy one?

Also, is the fact that I'm much older than my mother was when she gave birth likely to make things even harder for me?

Now I'm 31 weeks into my first pregnancy and had planned to use MLU for birth. NCT classes have made home birthing sound more attractive and we're now considering it. To get one though I would have to switch hospitals and I'm not sure it would be worth all the effort since so often plans for home birth go wrong anyway.

My current hospital is UCLH, where I've had good care so far, and where I can hope to be lucky with timings and get in one of the birthing pools in their MLU which is nice and handy for labour ward in case of emergencies. If I lived nearer they'd let me have a home birth, but because UCLH community midwives don't cover my postcode, I can only opt for a home birth by switching to a nearer hospital (Homerton). Homerton does have a brand new MLU (opened this month I think) but I'm worried that changing hospitals at this stage won't necessarily do much to encourage an easy birth whether I end up at home or on their wards.

Wondering if there's really so much evidence that a home water birth is more likely to go more smoothly than one in a MLU to make switching hospitals for the chance of one worthwhile - especially given my mother's birthing history and my old age (40).

Any thoughts?

re. "do you relive your mother's birth"...
No, I don't think you do - although family history can give clues. If you were born in 1970 then medicalisation of birth was quite a big thing - and that's now changed, or can be changed if you have the support and/or the will. Add in the complication of baby being breech and I don't think that your mother's experience is indicative of the type of birth you can expect. Your grandmothers' experiences might be a better indicator as to how you'll fare (much more likely to have been allowed to labour freely).

I chose to remind myself that every single female ancestor I've ever had has managed to give birth successfully - they must have done or I wouldn't be here! My sister was a forceps birth but, from what I know, it was a fairly stereotypical "thou shalt lie on your back on the bed" labour, which isn't the best way to birth a large baby... DD1 was 9lb12, breech, and born at home with 7 hours of active labour - which was far more akin to my grandmother than my mother's first. (I also listened to Natal Hypnotherapy CD's to try and help me stay calm and positive - I don't know if they actually helped, but I did stay feeling very calm and focussed during the birth)

re "home or MLU"
Its a very tricky and personal decision. We considered the MLU and looked at the pros and cons relative to HB - for us the MLU shared cons with the hospital (distance to get there), added some of its own (same distance again to get to a CLU if necessary) and didn't have enough pros to make it worthwhile. Plus, to me, it still felt like a hospital and I didn't want that. But it all depends on what you feel about the choices you have.

Something that I did wonder, though, is whether you've had any contact with the MW's at Homerton? Do you know whether they're supportive of HB? Before we knew DD was staying bum down we planned an NHS HB but whilst our CMW didn't tell us we "couldn't" do it, she really wasn't at all supportive and did seem to be trying to put us off. We wound up using IMs to ensure we had HCP's that were happy to be supporting birth in a home environment. IMO, if you're considering changing hospital to get a HB, it would be well worth calling them up or visiting and having a chat to try and establish how supportive they would be before making the jump. (I'd be trying to find out what %age of their births are actually at home, what %age of planned HB's happen...)

Would changing to Homerton be likely to get you a better birth? If you think you'd be more relaxed at home, then yes it could - and you've still got over 2 months to go so its not that much of a last minute thing. On paper Homerton gives you more options, but would they have different criteria for the women let into their birthing centre? Something else to find out... If Homerton is closer than UCLH, were there strong reasons why you decided to go the extra distance? Have those reasons become less important? Where, in your heart, do you want to be?

Hmmm - well, there's a load of waffle there . Good luck making your decision and with the birth .

Whether we repeat our mothers' births or not would surely depend on whether there are genetic reasons for any particular problems our mothers may have had.

If there is no reason to believe your mum's problems were caused by genetics, then there wouldn't be any reason to believe you will repeat her birth experience.

My mum had 3 straightforward labours and all 3 children were within a few days of due dates.unfortunately my dd was 11 days late,2 days of labour ending in emergency c section.I wish I did have a delivery like my mum.
By the way I had planned a homebirth so ended up with the opposite!I have lots of friends who've had successful homebirths,u can always change your mind even in labour.Bear in mind u must have a very straightforward pregnancy and be low risk to be able to have homebirth or MLU.

My mum had high blood pressure and was induced each time. Neither me or my sister had this in pregnancy.

My mum was induced in a time when labouring women encouraged to lie on backs etc - things have changed and so I don't think you can draw any comparisons - eg breech fairly random probably not genetic.

BTW I've just changed hospitals at 35 weeks to use brand new MLU at Whittington hospital - I don't think changing late on makes a difference.

I've decided against homebirth for me MLU inside big hospital allows me to have natural active water birth whilst eliminating changes of having to travel in ambulance in labour.. (because CLU is on same site)

My mum Had high BP and was induced the first time - 6 weeks early, and the second time again went into labour naturally but 6 weeks early! both labours were quick and births easy but she did have a severe PPH after the first time.

my labours in comparison were both very long in the early phase - 48hrs & 18hrs but after that no further interventions needed and straightforward births.

my mum and i were also different ages i had my babies in my early twenties and she had hers late twenties early thirties. so i suppose were did labour similarly but no High BP or PPH for me and mine were not early.

as for MLU or Homebirth - HOMEBIRTH! all the way. i know they try in MLU but at the end of the day it is not a familiar place to you and you wont be as relaxed thus making the labour harder on yourself. i have just had my second baby at home and i can honestly say it was the best! if the MW think you are a good homebirth candidate and you feel safe doing it then its the best of all worlds - and your DH will think you are a total superhero afterwards - mine does

good luck

Just to clarify a point that Mumcah made - the NHS may advise you against a home birth, but the decision on whether or not to accept that advice is yours alone. You can be refused access to an MLU if you do not meet the Trust's criteria - but they cannot deny you a HB birth and they are legally obliged to support your choice (there is an argument that "support" can include paramedics and an ambulance, but I think if you ask on the homebirth website or mailgroup no-one who has pushed for a MW when in labour has not been sent one.)

schipo Have a look on "How old is too old for HB" thread as it does give qute a bit of info as my work cokeague wants a HB and will be nearly 40 at due date.

My experience and my mother's could not be more different.

I was failure to thrive in the womb due to placental insufficiency, 4 lbs, whipped out in scary emergency C-section under GA, straight into incubator and a v puny ill child in and out of hospital.

My siblings also were tiny and poorly to begin with.

I therefore expected 1. to make tiny babies 2. to have C-sections 3. for it all to be a bit crap. Have so far produced 3 hulking babies ranging in weight from 8 lb 4 to 9 lb 14. All straightforward births with no intervention.

So it can be TOTALLY different. I think I am more pro medical births and hospitals given my own history (I so nearly copped it) and would never go for a home-birth but that is personal choice. I also would have had no problems at all having a C section, being a C section baby myself.

My mum had me as an emergency c-section under general when the cord got tangled and I was in distress/short of oxygen.

She then had my brother as an elective c-section when they figured out he was too big to go through her very narrow pelvis (they did an x-ray to check).

I had DD as emergency forceps when she became distressed/short of oxygen stuck firm for hours head side on and OT.

I am having my second by elective and hoping to recover as well as my mum did after her c-sections as my forceps recovery was long, painful and very complex.

Mother had 4 induced long difficult labours.

i had 2 spontaneous, quick and easy.
DSis had induced, quick and easy.
other Dsis had early, long and difficult.

I was a breech baby, born with forceps two weeks late. As with your Mum, mine took a little while to recover following the birth.

My son was a week early, head down and I had a very normal hospital birth.

I had a very different experience of birth compared with her.