Why am I at this meeting

[Babieseverywhere]

....said the consultant to us and the SOM

"Seems that you have made a decision on a home birth and nothing I say will persuade you to come to hospital."

Well, that was exactly what my husband and I were also thinking.

We acknowledged that we understood there were risks for us attempting a home birth, however we felt that the risks for a hospital birth with the restrictions they would apply would be a higher risk.

Especially as I am so frightened of hospitals and he agreed that the hospital had strict guidelines and seemed to understand where we were coming from.

What a nice man. He talked to us not over us and didn't might discussing stats with us. He finished the very short meeting by wishing us the very best and hoped we had a successful home birth.

So it is back to the SOM to continue our home birth plans. She seemed a little taken aback by how the meeting went very well for us.

So for us that is the end of the consultant meetings (unless something develops in our pregnancy) We will send a letter to the hospital just to confirm we are having a home birth and to put them on notice of the need to arrange a midwife team for my EDD just to cross the t's as such.

I am so pleased, I have had been having nightmares for weeks, panicking about this meeting and I am so pleased that it went much better than I could of imagined and it is over

I will get a proper night's sleep tonight

That's great! What a fabulous consultant.

just missed your call
just throwing tea down neck before dd2 wakes up, will call in a bit
so glad it went well
xx

He was, if things did go wrong. He is the kind of doctor you would want on board.

Plus he was wearing a funky colourful shirt rather than a suit.

I think the nice SOM expected him to read us the riot act about dareing to want a homebirth and he didn't

But he was very matter of fact that though he would recommend a consultant led birth oit was our decision and we have clearly mad it. I think it helped that we were clear about the risks and had read a lot around the subject.

No rush TF, love to chat if you have time if not we'll catch up later/tomorrow

clearly mad made it

that's great news, he obviously realised you knew the risks/benefits best of luck to you!

fantastic news for you - had a similar meeting myself today, finally at 35 weeks I have had a lovely consultant midwife agree that I'm not mad for wanting a home birth - letter written to say I'm doing it against advice, in my file, booked in, all done!

Know what you mean about weeks of worrying and wondering, it's not good for anyone!
congrats again and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

(lets just hope the babies play along with plans now and come on time/the right way up/etc!)

Congratulations, Babies. Can't wait to hear how it goes

I loved my home birth. Are you planning a waterbirth?

I do have a water pool, so yes ideally I would like a water birth. Or a home birth, or a long labour at home before we transfer in to hospital.

I have to be flexible after two failed births. I am unlikely to achieve achieve a birth in any location but I want to try.

Nice to know we have things sorted at 21 weeks pregnant, just need to finish growing this baby

Is this with independent midwifes or NHS ones?

NHS ones and a doula

Well it sounds like you get the best possible chance to labour and hopefully give birth in a comfortable and familar setting with carers who will support you in the way you want.

I recommend something like hypnobirthing - we did the course before DC2, and I'm sure it was one of the reasons that his birth was so quick and straightforward.

Thanks MumNWLondon

All I ever wanted was a chance and that is what I have

Thanks for the suggestion, I think my doula mentioned that too.

Pleased to hear you got what you wanted and that your consultant was on your side. Great

If you get the chance, look at Birth From Within.

I'm really enjoying that book and looking at getting trained in their philosophies. I wish I'd read it while pregnant It very much normalises birth and is good for confidence.

Just catching up with this - I'm glad the meeting went well for you and hopefully you can relax a little and enjoy your pregnancy

Thanks Ladies

Yes, I am very relieved, off to deal with my existing poorly sick babies.

Babieseverywhere - I have only just caught up with a few threads on MN. Glad to hear your consultant visit went well. You will need to agree some issues with the SOM and community team such as reasons to transfer to hopsital if needed, but this should be led by you. Did you ever go through your previous notes with anyone btw?

happy for you, a good consultant can make a great different.
I was confident about my homebirth, against one consultant's advice, but after reading my notes during labour 'understands fetal compramise, still wishes to stay at home' I got very upset and the contractions were hard with that in my head, like I was putting baby at risk. I think that was transition though so I got a bit tearful/irrational anyway. In reality 'extra risks' was a matter of opinion. I knew going in to the hospital alone would cause extra risks because of the heightened stress to me it would cause.
Anyway, my homebirth couldnt have turned out better so good luck to you too