elcs unkind comments

[FatSeal]

I know it's not much, and I should just shrug it off, but I just got called a chicken for having a section booked. I wish people would think a bit about why you might be doing that before opening their big unkind mouths.

Just to top it off, she also commented on how we know not only the date of birth but also the sex of our baby, and then said "well you'd better keep the name a secret otherwise the weight'll be the only thing you find out on the day". That is entirely the point; no nasty surprises on the day in question, which I am thoroughly chuffed to have ever reached, as for a very long time I always thought I wouldn't be able to bring myself to having another child.

I suppose I am lucky to have got to 35 weeks without a similar comment, but it just confirms to me that that's what people are thinking behind my back.

I've had three sections. First emcs, second elcs - and was variously told I was too posh to push, experienced rolling of eyes and a 'why would you want yo do that?'

frankly the fact that DD1 spent two weeks in SCBU seemed a good enough reason to me.

Your section will be fine. With DD3 Iwas out of bed wthin hours and demanded the catheter out the next day. On day three I went home.

It's true there are many reasons for elcs, not all of them physical. A friend's mother died just a few dats after my friend endured a horrendous labour ending in emcs. She couldn't dace the enormity of ut all again and opted for elcs.

People really are ignorant aren't they?

I'm trying to arrange an ELCS at the moment after my previous birth experience which was really horrendous.

I'm fully expecting some people to have this attitude, but in all honesty their strange, judgey thoughts and opinions are totally their problem and not not mine.

I honestly don't understand what "too posh to push" is supposed to mean. Isn't it that kind of celebrity tag for people who are too vain to go through natural birth because of what it does to their body?

I put those kind of weird comments in the same box as the ones where people assume that anyone who doesn't want to breastfeed chooses bottles because they don't want to end up with saggy breasts.

If people are so small-minded and ignorant that they don't understand something quite complex unless it comes with a label like 'chicken' or 'too posh to push' then I truly pity them and their lack of compassion for others.

I do find the best way to deal with bitchy comments is a stare and no words - because normally people make comments like that and expect you to bluster and make excuses. I find that leaving the bitchy comment there in the air, unanswered often embarasses the hell out of them.

OTTmum - same here I had to really fight for my first section with no medical reason but am booked for my second in three weeks. I don't care if people think I am too posh to push - they usualy just look taken aback when they ask why I had a section and I just say "by choice".

When I got told I had placenta previa at 20 weeks I mentioned it at work, and that if I still had it at the end I would need a section.
One woman rolled her eyes and said "well you don't want that, you can't drive for 6 weeks".
I replied "well better that than bleeding to death". I mean, FFS! Nope Mr Consultant, I will insist on a vaginal birth that will mean certain death for me and my son, just leave the car keys in my hand will you?

In the end I did have to have that elcs, but just told everyone I was too posh to push. It got to the point where I just didn't care any more.

Thanks again everyone, I think I managed to get the point across to her, looking back at the conversation, with the appalled stare technique. I did try to tell her about the PTSD, but it doesn't really cover the mental damage and years of struggling with it. She looked a bit sheepish afterwards anyway, I was just too busy extricating myself and heading for home to follow it up. The weird thing is, she is neither bitchy (normally) or stupid and is a healthcare professional, so I really wasn't expecting that sort of comment from her of all people so it took me by surprise.

If it had been someone I didn't know that well, I like to think I would have stuck up for myself a bit more along the lines of Ceasnake

and DP I have read the positive elcs threads too, and find them very reassuring. I am not particularly looking forward to being sliced open, having never had so much as a stitch before now, but it is the lesser of two evils.

Thanks again everyone, feeling much better tonight

Good that you are feeling better. Please don't take to heart my alarm at the very idea of CS; I just wanted to say it is not a soft option. However, it can be a very "healthy", life-saving option! Good luck. If you have got this far with only one (unexpected) comment, you are doing well!

FatSeal sounds like you have the right attitude and gave the right response. Honestly, the bare cheek of it!

I'm expecting my first and, frankly, petrified of surgery of any kind - so I think you're extremely brave for having an ELCS - I'm too chicken to even think about it. And good for you for tackling so many demons, too! People are so damned insensitive!

she is probably jealous! bitch

I am secretly jealous of people that get ELCS, IMO better than wailing in agoiny for 8 hours

but I'd never say a bitchy comment like that