HOMEBIRTHERS..would you with 4yr and 2yr old dds

[steph1512]

Hi im 37wk and already have a 3yr8mth dd and a 23mth dd

i had perfect birthcentre birth with dd1 and an equally good homebirth with dd2.

This time round i cant decide?
fabulous birthcentre (excellent postnatel ward providedme with a night or two rest plus some selfish time with new baby!

Or homebirth again with the home comforts and althou im am undecided whether girls would be around for actual birth they wud be around soon after..so not alot of mummy rest but also nice family time!

part of me wonders if i like the idea of a little rest but in reality will i miss dds n want home straight after in which case may aswell stayed at home!

other part wonders if the harsh reality of giving birth and straight back to it could be a bit much for me?

experiences or opinions welcome

I would, but I'd definitely want the option of no DC for the birth. Although one of the big attractions of HB for me has always been not having to get in the car at all.

Just make sure you stay in PJs for a good week or two (or longer if you can ) after your DC3 arrives - its a subtle reminder to family and friends that you're NOT "mum that takes care of everyone else" at the moment...

I had a homebirth when ds1 was just under 4 and ds2 was a week off his 2nd birthday. The boys stayed overnight with friends of ours (and ds1 gave the woman chicken pox as a thank-you ).

Dh was at home for most of the week after the birth, and he fielded the older two dses whilst I rested up and did my best to establish breastfeeding.

I felt that it worked very well for us, and I certainly didn't feel that I was pitchforked straight back into the workload of family life.

Hi!

Sorry no experience (1st preganacy) but based on you lovely previous experiences of you first two children go for a homebirth if you fancy it!!!
My thoughts are:
Homebirth - Maybe enquire about a doula (for postnatal, to provide assistance with house stuff and they should also understand your needs as a mum with a newborn well!) or a friend/babysitter who can take your little ones out if its a daytime or just be there to keep them occupied and do their day to day needs ie meals, baths etc
Although an american website Bring Birth Home, has womens experiences of home births may help you choose one way or the other. bringbirthhome.com/birth-at-home/jocelyn-born-at-home/
MLU - will you miss your other little ones? Do they mind spending time away from their mummy? Or will they be screaming / crying if they see you in MLU and not going home with them? Did you enjoy being alone with your first baby in the MLU?

Let us know what you decide and what happens when you have your new baby! It is nice to hear postive birth experiences!!

good tip re pjs!

my dh will have some time off work so will be around to help with dds but its me that struggles to switch off from them.

they would def miss me if i was away for a night or two as both mummys girls but esp my eldest...but i also no they would be fine with daddy iv explained that mummy might have to go to hosp to have baby and it takes up alot of mummy energy so i might have to sleep at the hosp for a couple of night but they can visit me etc.

but i porbwud really miss them.

i have to admit i loved the post natel stay with my first stayed three nights..could of stayeed more to be honest

it is such a lovely place i likened it to a hotel at the time sum1 around for your every need lovely food support etc i couldnt fault the care i recieved and had lots of visitors at visiting times which was nice but also found it nice that bar fathers there was visiting time therfore got the positives of seeing people and introducing dc without getting to the point of wishing people would leave as been there ages!

althou just found out yesterday that the postnatel ward is temp closed due to staffing probs!! suppose to be just until end of month but if not suppose my decisin will be made for me.

I am planning hb with a 4 year old and 2 year old. Please report back and let us know what happens! We do not have masses of support and have been told that we will need back up for childcare in case I have to go into hospital at any point.

Good luck

I had a HB in June with DS1 who was almost 4 present. I would certainly recommend having another person there to help with your children though. My best friend came round as soon as labour started and stayed with me and DP all night. When DS1 came down for breakfast in the morning, I was getting close. The midwife advised us to let him wander in and out the room as he pleased. He even fetched me some biscuits from the kitchen!

When his brother was crowning, my friend called him in and gave him a big hug. Daddy told him how exciting it was that the baby was coming. Because I was in a birth pool he didn't see too much but it was lovely to have him there. When he talks about it now he says he was happy and excited, not scared. If I'd been distressed or screaming the house down, my friend would have taken him off to her house.

Good luck whatever you decide.