What is wrong with carrying newborn out of hospital ?

[mumfor1sttime]

Sorry for weird question - but wondered if the hospital you had your baby were as weird as mine. Was told we could only leave the hospital with our newborn in a car seat. The car seat we have is age 0-3yrs with no handle so didnt think there was any point in using it, so my dh carried ds out of maternity ward.

A grumpy and rude midwife had a go at us and said she would take ds down stairs for us in his crib! (those glass container things)so had the embarrasment of her escorting us to car.

"One poor woman next to me had to stay another night because the MW didn't have time to do the discharge paperwork for them ... till midnight"

Hmm. Wonder if they'd have moved faster if she'd just started packing up to leave...?

I'm sure the NHS can ill-afford such needless inefficient bed-blocking.

I know RZ!! And they just sat there and took it (her DH too).

When we left, I had to hold my DP back to stop him yelling at the MW to finish the paperwork (different, much nicer one ).

QofQ - I was in a low dependency ward, despite having had an epidural, an intrumental delivery and lots of stiches. I had my epidural "topped up" at midnight ( as they thought I was going to theatre for a section) . Six hours later I was up and about on the ward, trying to walk to get to the loo and the shower. I was very shaky but there was no one to help me. I also couldnt get anything to eat as I couldn't stand in the long breakfast queue carrying a tray. Lunch came at noon when I was seeing the paediatrician (with my baby). Cold macaroni cheese was left beside my bed. Guess what - I was home by T time!

So....maybe i should have given birth in Bedford!

I have never given birth but I can totally see why these "rules" are in place. We live in a blame society and if harm came to a baby, people wouldn't think twice about legal action. Therefore, all these "rules" are in place to prevent legal action from taking place from accidents.

For example if X is walking around carrying her baby round the ward and faints, causing harm to the baby she will probably try and sue for neglect (or something). However, if the ward has a no carrying "rule" and she has flaunted this, then no action can take place. If the ward doesn't, legal action can take place as in her eyes, she hasn't been informed of the risks.

SO the ward has this "rule" in place they are covered. And X has no one but herself to blame.

It may be possible that midwifes "enforce" this "rule" as they have seen damage caused by accidents or obviously care enough to try and protect your child. You may not agree with these "rules" or even abide by them, but surely, these "rules" are in place to protect your child from harm, they are not there because a midwife had a whim or decided one day "wouldn't it be funny if.."

And in the grand scheme of things, surely not being able to walk around a ward with your baby for a few days is infintely better then injuring your baby by accident? You may not agree with the system but you only have to live with it for a few days, but guilt would last forever.

Lilmissy, the point is that when you're on the postnatal ward you've no idea at all what the "system" is (and half the time it's not clear if the staff do either), you're tired, sore, hormonal, emotional - and when some bully in a uniform starts telling you what you can and can't do with your own baby it's bloody annoying.

If the rules are explained nicely and calmly and preferably in advance, it's all so much easier...

i know what your saying lilmissy and i also agree with the rules, but is the way they enforce them and how rude they are about it, youv'e never given birth so you won't know how emtional and drained you are and the last thing you need is someone telling you what to do i the way in which they do it. if they explained the rules to us in the first place then these feelings towards them wouldn't happen.
they haven't got any time for you while you are there and then when your leaving they are nice as pie and asking if theres anything they can do for you (its abit bloody late by then) after they've shouted at you and made you feel like shit.

i don't think that anyone disagrees that the "rules" should be explained nicely.

but the thread title is "what is wrong with..."

so we've answered!

I have to say that the midwives at our hospital did explain very nicely why their rules were in place. Ie, no feeding in bed at night in case you fell asleep/dropped baby out of bed! There were always people (midwives/auxilliaries) available to sit with you, or you could just sit in your chair.
That's not to say that people never fed in bed because they did... but they had been informed of the risks.

I actually LIKED having to push ds in his crib because I could hardly walk and it made it easier having something to lean on!

Ha,

When ds was born they put him in bed with me, cos he kept crying when he was put in his fishtank, and they said we both needed the sleep. He went off to sleep, I laid there rigid with fear that I'd lay on him or push him out of bed.

These rules change year on year.

Hi - I've read this thread with fascination - I agree with everyone who says heavy handed or tactless mw on ward unhelpful. I was left to collapse in shower after my last c section, despite being put there by 2 midwives who said they were outside door - they stuffed me in there and left where I promptly collapsed on floor in haze ofmorphine and because ofbloodloss- I was fantastically upset by this.
I think assisting new mothers to leave is helpful as with bags etc can be tough - frog marching you out is a different matter.
Is'nt the bottom line that we all want to be treated kindly and with some respect by all people involved in our care and our babies arrival?..kind of a do as you would be done by manner?