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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

What is wrong with carrying newborn out of hospital ?

109 replies

mumfor1sttime · 17/07/2005 21:35

Sorry for weird question - but wondered if the hospital you had your baby were as weird as mine. Was told we could only leave the hospital with our newborn in a car seat. The car seat we have is age 0-3yrs with no handle so didnt think there was any point in using it, so my dh carried ds out of maternity ward.

A grumpy and rude midwife had a go at us and said she would take ds down stairs for us in his crib! (those glass container things)so had the embarrasment of her escorting us to car.

OP posts:

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RedZuleika · 19/07/2005 15:37

That's one viewpoint. But they are not the carers for that child and they shouldn't put themselves above the parents. Their role, post partum, is to assist parents with aspects of caring with which they might need guidance (breastfeeding, perhaps bathing) - they should not attempt to substitute themselves as guardians against a parent's judgement.

oliveoil · 19/07/2005 15:39

I know, BUT, I think they do know best at this time. I thought I could swan about the corridors but I couldn't. They know, they see it every day.

I am v defensive of midwives however, all mine were fabbo so I may be blinkered.

But I am right .

RedZuleika · 19/07/2005 15:46

Well - we'll have to agree to differ. If they offered to look after the child while you go off to do x, y, z that would be one thing. Suggesting that it might be safer to do x rather than y would be ok too. Telling you what to do - particularly when it's something like leaving your newborn child behind - is not acceptable to me.

aloha · 19/07/2005 15:49

Nobody in a hospital can make you do anything. They can advise you and that's where their authority stops. They cannot force you to do anything. It's a hospital, not a prison. Was totally unaware of these rules both times I was in hospital.

starlover · 19/07/2005 16:23

agree with oliveoil

i got up after lunch one day and fell over. imagine if i had been holding ds!

these measures are put there for your baby's safety. i am sure that all of us would never forgive ourselves if something happened to our newborn baby...

why be so nasty to people who are just trying to help?

yes, you are the parent, not them. but they have rules to follow in a hospital, and it really doesn't hurt anyone to follow them does it?

starlover · 19/07/2005 16:24

imagine you were wandering around with newborn baby and as matthewsmummy said... a doctor on call for an emergency came dashing round the corner and knocked into you.

a tiny baby could DIE being dropped onto a hard floor.

and who would get the blame? the doctor.

i mean for goodness sake... does it really matter that much if you have to put your baby in a bloody cot, or a car seat?????

chicagomum · 19/07/2005 16:38

i fail to see what the fuss is about, i haemorrhaged after having dd can you imagine what would have happened to her if i'd fainted holding her? ithink it is a wise move to ensure a child is protected whilst being moved around in hospital and on their journey home, as a mother surely your desire is to ensure your childs safety and that is precisely what the hospital is doing too

Lio · 19/07/2005 16:43

We walked home - ds carried ds in a sling and between us we carried all the other gubbins.

starlover · 19/07/2005 16:49

i have to say a big bravo to all who have walked home!
i could barely walk at all when i had ds! struggled to make it to the entrance of the hospital!

RedZuleika · 19/07/2005 16:49

I'm not suggesting that ALL these procedures are bad - just that as an across-the-board policy some of them are jobsworthy. I've had really low blood pressure whilst pregnant and have periodically made the decision that I'm not safe to drive. I've made that decision myself - I haven't been told to do it by someone else. Similarly, if I'd lost a lot of blood, I would think that I probably wasn't safe to pick up the dog, let alone a newborn baby.

And it's usually 'hospital policy' that doctors DON'T go 'dashing' along corridors, even when responding to the crash bleep, for precisely these kind of health and safety reasons.

KristinaM · 19/07/2005 16:51

We just walked out the ward carrying the baby -they didnt seem to care at all. We just had to report to the nurses station that we were leaving and go. They were very concerned about their paperwork though - as we walked down the ward towards the door a nurse ran after us shouting " " Oh I forget to ask you what you were planning to do for contraception!"

starlover · 19/07/2005 16:52

fine. but surely you can understand why midwives have to say something?
if i was a midwife and saw someone carrying the baby around i would ask her to put it in a cot. because as i am sure you will know having suffered from low BP, faintness can come on very suddenly.

You know how to deal with that... some people don't!
i was very anaemic after giving birth, but i felt ok until that one day when i stood up and fell over! it wasn't something that i could predict... and thus not something that i could make a judgement over.
so it was safer for ds to be in his cot

Nik72 · 19/07/2005 16:56

Why do they have to ask that anyway, Kristina - do you reckon they get paid each time?

starlover · 19/07/2005 17:01

because they're understaffed and want less people coming in! lol

why do they assume that you have issues with contraception? not all pregnancies are unplanned!

matthewsmummy · 19/07/2005 18:08

sorry if i affended anyone by calling them stupid bitches (i know not all midwives are, as my personal mw was lovely but those ones were)

i agree with the policies but its just the way they go about letting you know that i think is wrong, and the way they deal with it when you do something wrong. they must know you wouldn't want to put them in any harm, i just didn't think about it i surpose but thats probley down to the fact that id just had a baby, you'd think they'd realise that being mw's.

i surpose i just had a horrible time in hospital, none of the mw's seemed to care if you were alright, they only cared about telling you what you shouldn't be doing.

id had an epidural so counld't move on my own, they said they would come and help me have a shower and bath ds but they never came back, my mum had to go and ask them when she came up to visit me. they also said ds wasn't tonge tied and kept trying to get him to feed but he couldn't and everytime they came back they would say hasn't that baby been feed yet, but what could i do it was my first baby,i didn't know what to do and they kept saying they would come back and help and they never did. and it turned out he was tonge tied, in the end i went to a birthing centre (because they were under staffed and asked me to go there)

the ladies were so nice and they got ds to feed first time becuase they were patient and took the time to actually help me.

so sorry to all the nice mw's out there coz i know they are not all bad, but some of them need to take the time to help you and not be so bloody rude to you.

Original poster

mumfor1sttime · 19/07/2005 21:05

Its good to see that we all care! I just felt that I was made to feel stupid by midwife and that she looked down her nose at us. Maybe I just felt hormonal! I was not told of any rules or procedures etc when staying in hospital - or I might have been more prepared. When I went to Loo in hospital I would leave ds near my bed - what did others do?

OP posts:

nailpolish · 19/07/2005 21:08

god, i hated going to the toilet in the hospital - every time i went i would tell a mw - they probably thought i was daft, but they were kind and didnt say anything. did the fastest pees ever

chicagomum · 19/07/2005 21:10

i was fortunate that a girl in my anti natal class gave birth the same night as me so she watched mine when i went to the loo got food etc and visa versa

Hulababy · 19/07/2005 21:11

I had a single room, with its own bathroom. But I still hated going to the toilet. I used to try and time it mainly for when I had visitors. At night I just went as fast as I could. LOL!

nailpolish · 19/07/2005 21:11

and as for going for a shower - waited til dh came in til i did that!

chicagomum · 19/07/2005 21:13

i mean antenatal (didn't go to classes that were against pregnancy )

nailpolish · 19/07/2005 21:13

lol!

KristinaM · 19/07/2005 21:24

Like some other posters, I dont have a probelsm with the general principles of them being concerned about you and your baby's welfare, or even discussing issues like contraception, if its done appropriately. Its the fact that they won't do anything to help you with your baby while you are in hospital but make a big show of accompaning you to the door when you leave.

CarolinaMoon · 20/07/2005 12:08

What really baffled me was how difficult it was to get out. They were desperately overcrowed and the MWs were incredibly busy, but no-one seemed to know how the discharge process worked (I actually heard one of the consultants complaining about this at the MW's station).

One poor woman next to me had to stay another night because the MW didn't have time to do the discharge paperwork for them (a whole 5 minutes' work) till midnight "and you wouldn't want to be taking a newborn out of here in the middle of the night, would you?"

QueenOfQuotes · 20/07/2005 12:16

"Its the fact that they won't do anything to help you with your baby while you are in hospital "

don't know what hospitals you've given birth in - but in Bedford (which 'supposedly' has a pretty dire reputation) and Kettering they were fabulous - couldn't have done much more if they tried!

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