Can anyone help me tonight please? Going to GP tomorrow about birth trauma and have no idea what to say

[givingbirtfuckedmeup]

To cut the story short, since getting pregnant about 4 months ago I've been getting increasingly upset about having to give birth again.

Have now accepted the fact that the experience I suffered was traumatic, that I am not over it and that I need to do something about it before I develop some kind of full blown depression (I am halfway there if I'm honest).

Had some great advice recently to see GP about trying to get birth counselling. I just wondered if anyone has ever done this, or if anyone is a m/w or GP and has experience of this?

Desperately worried I won't be able to find the words or will just feel like I'm bothering them with something stupidly trivial

you are not alone - and you certainly wont be bothering them - it is not trivialo in the slightest. I felt the same and did a hypnobirthing course to boost my confidence. It really worked and i went into labour convinced i could do it and confident i wouldnt experience a lot of pain.

Unfortunately my body doesnt seem cut out for birth and i had another csection for failure to progress. If i had to give birth again (bear in mind this is all very fresh for me - only gave birth to number 2 one week ago) i would lobby for a general anaesthetic. However - the fact remains that hypnobirthing made me feel very confident going into it, and helped with the first couple of hours labour.

Go and talk to your GP - think about getting a hypnosis cd and do everything you can to help yourself feel positive about giving birth. It is a very big deal and you deserve help through it. Very best wishes xx

our hospital has a mw trained in counselling who is available on referral from a mw - could you ask your mw if there is similar in your area? gp might not know about it.

God no, it's a great idea. I was frantic about giving birth when I was pregnant with my DD following a traumatic first delivery and an even more traumatic miscarriage in between. My GP was lovely, and so was my community midwife. I didn't have 'formal' counselling, but those two talked to me, and listened to me, and supported me, and I was able to approach my impending delivery with much more confidence.

Is the GP who you need to see? Our maternity unit runs a "birth reflections" service which is for people who need to go through their birth notes, have them explained, and often have some counselling too?

AS to what to say to GP is just the truth that you think that you have PTSD from your first birth and you need some urgent help with respect to your impeding birth.

Hope it goes well.

I have no idea if I should talk to GP, pls don't give me a reason to back out of it!!

My m/w is totally unaccessible, doesn't return calls and rushes through appts so don't think it's worth trying her.

Did think about the reflections thing but I don't think I'm ready to go through my notes yet.

I'm impressed that you got to 4 months! - I broke down at my booking in appointment when asked about my first birth!!

The midwife then referred me straight to the "birth afterthoughts" service at the hospital where I got to talk through my notes with the ward matron to try and get straight in my head what had happened.

Be warned though, I actually found out some more horrible things than I remembered myself!

It did help me to feel calmer though and while I will always feel a bit sad that I won't ever get to experience a vaginal birth, I am convinced that my ELCS was the right choice for me and DC2.

You certainly won't be wasting anyone's time and should not feel guilty for asking for some help with this.

Hope it helps. Just remember to take someone supportive (and a big pack of tissues) to you appointment with you. I found having my husband there really helped as he remembered bits about the birth that I hadn't too

I think the purpose of the reflections thing is counselling. As well as going to the GP (do NOT back out) ring the reflections thing make an appointment, you can talk to them without opening your notes! We have a dedicated midwife who runs the reflections service.

Definitely start at the GPs and explain what you are feeling now and that you need to talk to someone about it. Who it ends up being might be the practice counsellor, a specialist mw birth counsellor (this would be for preference), the birth debriefing team at the hospital or perhaps a psychiatrist, although the referral times seem to be quite long for that and you are needing to get this sorted asap as you are pg again already.

For information and in case it helps, my route was via a charitable PND counselling organisation, I had counselling there for PND, and as we sorted through that it became obvious that the birth trauma was something separate which needed specialist psychiatric help. This took ages to organise (I was still waiting 18 months later) so eventually we used private insurance to get CBT from a private psychologist, which finally sorted the PTSD out.

After this we discussed a elcs with the consultant and had it in writing prior to ttc our current pg.

Best of luck with this, it's a tangle but you can get it sorted out if you ask for help.

Forgot to mention the Birth Trauma Association too, they have a good website, and will enter into email support too. Visit here

Just be upfront about the symtoms you have - the Birth trauma site has a list of post traumatic stress disorder signs that might jog your thoughts.

If you are concerned you are developing ante-natal depression your GP should be delighted you are being active in seeking support now.

I had a traumatic first birth and am 24 weeks with second pregnancy. My mw referred me to consultant to review notes after I cried on her again. I cried on the mws at my booking in appt. I cried in triage the other day when I needed to go over what happened with 3 different staff. I cried on the consultant. Now I am being referred to the psychology dept to help ........ awaiting an appt and hoping it'll be before the birth!

I feel ok - I know the memories upset me and I dream of things too much. BUT I am planning an elective, i know it will be different and I know my hormones and current pregnant state are focusing me in on it all.

You are doing brilliantly to be seeking help so go for it and if the GP is not useful push to see someone else.

Good luck!

Meant to add - I would jot down some notes of what you want to say to the GP - eg, feeling low, scared, worried / not eating well / not sleeping well / nightmares or memories of birth etc - whatever applies.

I often find that without notes I get emotional and lost and come out without the answers or help i need.

i too had a very traumatic delivery with my DS (now 4 1/2) and was left undiagnosed and untreated for 3 years, eventually diagnosed as having PTSD and OCD. Have you got a good DH? is always helpful if they are supporting you...
Don't feel like you are wasting anyones time...you're not!! whatever help is out there, take it and dont feel ashamed.
I think birth reflection sounds like a great idea...dont know about you but i think it would have been very helpful if i had been able to discuss the experience with a proffesional later on when all the initial fuss had died down.
i hope all goes well for you...(smile) xx

I had a very bad delivery. To sum it up, both my partner and I thought I was going to die. Sounds over dramatic but that is the best way I can describe it. I developed Post Traumatic Stress so went for counselling about 6 months after the birth. It turned out to be the best thing I could have done.

Your GP can arrange it for you, there will probably be a bit of a waiting list, so best to get your name down as soon as possible.

My DD is nearly 2 now and I have another baby on the way. I know my previous experience was awful but through the counselling I have now come to terms with it and am looking forward to the birth of my next baby. It really is good to talk about it and they won't think you are being silly.

Thank you everyone.

I didn't go to the GP today - because DD is ill and had to stay home and I didn't think I could realy do it with her there.

I have contacted birth reflections though, they are going to arrange an appt with the midwifery manager (I assume this is a sr midwife?)

I think that will be good as she may be able to help talk me through birth options this time around. Im still set on an ELCS and I know she's not an obstetrician but I gues she can give me an idea as to how likely I am to be able to get one.

I am sure with your previous experience you have a strong case for an elcs. If one consultant refuses you can always ask to be moved to another to get a second opinion.

I think it's a great idea to use the birth reflections service - I am hoping that's what the psychology dept will do for me when I finally hear from them! I'll ask the mw next week but I don't think there is a birth reflections service here.

Hope your DD gets well quickly :-)