Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Damage after ventouse, not right 4 months on, please help I need support

18 replies

PleaseBeGood · 26/02/2010 14:44

Right. I have name changed for this as I am feeling embarrassed and down.

DD was born 4 months ago. She was back to back and we had a gruelling pushing session where the consultant used a ventouse to twist her out as I was begging not to have another c-section after previous ECS with DS.

The birth was so intense and I was so glad she was ok I didn't ask many questions except how many stitches do I have?
The (foreign) consulant said one circular stitch. I say foreign because I think there was a miscommunication here.

After feeling about myself I think actually had a tear through my perenium which must have had a couple (or more) of stitches. Initially I had trouble going for a poo (massively painful). This improved after about 1 month although still not the same as before. I initially had to rush to the loo for a wee but am ok in that respect now.

I notice the following things. My vaginal opening is pulled open. It was never open like that before. At first I though this is the result of childbirth but I think it is a result of the stitching.
I am not sure if I am leaking urine after I have gone to the loo.
Sex is extremely painful. We have tried it twice and it is just so uncomfortable. I hoped it would improve after another month of the scar tissue healing but it feels tight and wrong. The opening is tight and does not stretch as it used to. The scar is still painful to the touch.

I am scared that I won't be able to have sex ever again. I love my husband and want to be able to have a sexual relationship with him. I don't this to affect our relationship.

I mentioned the problem to my midwife, HV and GP. I had an appointment to see a gynacologist but that will take 18 weeks. My GP is trying to speed it up.

Questions
Is it too late for me?
What questions shall I ask when I get my consultants appointment?
How can they make it better?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MumNWLondon · 26/02/2010 14:53

I'm sure its not too late, and it can be fixed, although for some people its never exactly the same down there after a VB - but sex should not be painful, and it does sound like bad stitching.

But you need to discuss with doctor - 18 weeks is not appropriate in these circumstances - are there any other hospitals slightly further away?

I know someone with something similar (bad stitching) who called the labour ward daily and said - one of your staff did this to me - and your consultant obsetrician will fix this today etc and I am not waiting for 4 months to have it seen etc .... and she got it dealt with within a week on the first "quiet" day. I think here its really a case of shouting loudly.

PrettyCandles · 26/02/2010 15:00

Oh you poor thing - damage down there is not fun. But it can get better, and there are things that can be done to help you heal better. You will be able to have sex again, but you and your dh must give yourselves time. Until then, find other wasy to share pleasure - ex doesn't have to be penetration - so that you can keep the flame burning.

With dc1 I tore inside and outside and was stitched up by an insensitive, uncommunicative, overtired doctor. Unfortunately my wound did not heal and it was eventually restitched 8m later under GA. Before the repair I was in constant pain, and sex was impossible. Afterwards things were vastly improved. I healed up well, but still had some pain and sensitivity issues, and sex was not the same.

I went on to have dc2 nearly 2y later, tore again, was stitched again (but this time by mmy lovely, gentle, considerate midwife). The wound healed perfectly, and the pain and sensitivity issues were completely resolved.

There are ways of massageing and softening scar tissue, a bit like perineal massage in pregnancy.

Hope this reassures you a bit.

PleaseBeGood · 26/02/2010 15:01

thankyou mumnwlondon

i really hope something can be done am feeling rubbish

OP posts:
PleaseBeGood · 26/02/2010 15:04

thanks pretty candle. good to hear things can get better.

I simply know nothing about what happened and how to help. I do pelvic floor excercises but they cant really help the main prob.

OP posts:
teaandcakeplease · 26/02/2010 15:12

Both my kids were back to back

First child was a forcep delivery in the end but it took 6 months after the birth (as they had to cut me open a bit for the forceps) to have sex and it to be ok.

Lots of KY jelly required for quite some time to ease things whilst getting friendly. As well as all the usual exercises.

I still have problems with leaking urine and wear the mini magic tena lady's.

Try ringing and calling a lot as well, if you can to chase things too, maybe that will help to get an appointment sooner. Like MumNWLondon said.

It's certainly never too late IMO.
As to what they will do, I guess it depends on what they find. But it will get better, some great advice on here from other ladies. Take heart my lovely, it won't always be this way. You've already taken the big step of talking to your GP, which was a brave thing to do x

MrsTittleMouse · 26/02/2010 15:14

Sorry that this has happened to you. I had a badly stitched ventouse delivery too, and I was in a lot of pain. Sadly, it seems that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, even though with a small baby you are probably exhausted and you are definitely very busy. But it is worth pushing for treatment. I had a whole host of GPs (and one gynae) fob me off before I saw someone sympathetic.

From my extensive experience (and a lot of reading around on MN) I've found several options.

Surgery - this is obviously the most drastic, and some doctors don't like to restitch if there are no obvious problems as they will be replacing a scar with... another scar, and there is no guarantee that the second scar will be great. A lot of women on MN have had really good experience of surgery though (search for Fentons procedure) - it seems to be especially appropriate for women who are sewn too tight, or who have a circular band of scarring around the entrance to the vagina.

Cortisone injections - this is what I had, and they were marvellous. My consultant told me that they are only effective for 50% of women, so you would have to get lucky. There are almost no downsides to trying though, except the actual pain of injection. This is a fairly new form of treatment and not all obs or gynaes are familiar with it - it might not be a normal treatment option at your hospital.

Hormone treatment - if you're breastfeeding you almost certainly have lower oestrogen levels in your vagina - you can get hormone creams to increase the levels and some women find this helpful for healing - I certainly found an improvement when I gave up breastfeeding.

Dilation - this is very low tech and has no side effects. If you need to stretch the tissue you can use dilators (fancy medical term for dildos) to stretch and massage the tissue internally. There are also good to get over the fear of penetration (which is very understandable after having several painful attempts to have penetrative sex).

Massage - it's well worth doing massage, even if you try one of the other treatment options as it has no downsides at all. You use a simple oil like regular olive oil and massage and stretch the painful areas. I've had good success with this.

Vaginal childbirth - this is a joke, but my scar really improved after I had another vaginal birth, and my experience isn't uncommon. It's a bit of a drastic option though!

Regarding the increased size of the entrance to your vagina - this just seems to be an unspoken legacy of a vaginal birth. It's certainly come up as a topic of conversation on MN several times. Pelvic floor exercises help, but it's rare for things to look completely the same down there. I found that I hated the fact that I looked different, and focussed on it a lot. But I think that it was really because I was so upset that things didn't work properly. I was very keen to have surgery to neaten things up (which is possible), but as time goes on, I am getting less keen on the idea.

Sorry this is really long, but one last thing - it isn't too late, and you have a good GP, which I've found is half the battle. Don't forget that if you happen upon a useless gynae ("all in your head" etc.) that you are entitled to a second opinion on the NHS. Good luck.

PleaseBeGood · 26/02/2010 15:20

thank you teaandcakes.

My MW, HV and GP are all lovely and fantastic at their jobs and I am sure they will be speeding up my appointment. My MW works in the same hospital as the consultant and said she would speak to him for me after she heard about the 18 week wait.

god its crap being a woman sometimes

OP posts:
darentinas · 26/02/2010 15:22

Poor you, I didn't suffer damage from a ventouse but I did have a third degree tear which was badly stitched. God knows how many stitches I had but it must have been a lot. I was in pain for several months and like you was fobbed off by so called health professionals and told I'd have to wait for an appointment to see a consultant (despite their poor stitch up job causing me the problem!)

I waited about 4 months and got an appointment, this appointment was then cancelled twice and I decided I couldn't wait any longer and paid for a private consultation with a gynaecologist. Is there any chance you could pay privately to see someone? At least that way you'd get an idea of what the problem is and get treatment on the NHS. You really shouldn't have to wait to see someone.

PleaseBeGood · 26/02/2010 15:35

MrsTM - great info there.
Fingers crossed for a good gynae. The one that pulled her out was very skilled with the ventouse but not so good at tidying up afterwards (but could that be because of the difficult birth / state of my bits afterwards?). He has a good reputation and it is likely that he will be the one I see again. I hope hope hope that he will know what needs to be done to sort me out.

As for the vaginal opening issue. I really feel that it is sort of pulled open. If it were looser it would be closed IYSWIM.

OP posts:
PleaseBeGood · 26/02/2010 15:39

i am in bupa with work.
they will pay for 1st treatment but no private consultants here.

OP posts:
PrettyCandles · 26/02/2010 15:50

It is normal for the vagianl opening to look fairly 'cavernous' after a vaginal birth. If you're used to looking at yourself down there, then it does take a while to get used to the new shape.

Double-check your PHI - I don't remember who we were with, through dh's work as well, but they wouldn't allow anything because it was pgrenancy-related, and pregnancy wasn't covered.

Keep going with teh pelvic floor excercises. Not only will help with the bladder-control, and they will increase bloodflow to the area, which will help with continued healing and improvement.

PleaseBeGood · 26/02/2010 16:25

yes bupa have said they won't pay for anything more than the first appointment unless the findings are that its nothing to do with childbirth .

OP posts:
ReneRusso · 26/02/2010 16:31

I'm sorry to say that for me, sex wasn't comfortable until about 10 months after my ventouse delivery and episiotomy. So things might just get better eventually by themselves. But I hope you get your appointment soon. It's worth nagging to try and get it sooner.

PleaseBeGood · 26/02/2010 16:39

was thinking and hoping that too renerusso. I just want someone to take a look to let me know if anything is wrong or whether it will get better by itself. But also don't want to be fobbed off.

OP posts:
HalfMumHalfBiscuit · 27/02/2010 15:37

I'll post when I get a new appointment date. If it doesn't come next week I will speak to my GP again.

GothDetective · 27/02/2010 15:52

Not read all replies so sorry if I'm repeating.

Its definetly not too late, a friend of mine had similar problem after m/w bodged suturing of an episiotomy. She had it "refashioned", so basicly cut again and restitched. Her DS was nearly 2 when she had this done.

If Bupa will pay for the first appt can you ask your GP if the hospital consultant will see you as a private patient rather than you waiting the 18 weeks for the initial consultation? Hope you get it sorted soon. Failing that, you can ask to be referred to anywhere in the country, is there another hospital where there is a consultant that does NHS and private? If so see him privately for first appt which Bupa will pay for and then get referred to him via NHS (gp should do this) for anything further.

HalfMumHalfBiscuit · 27/02/2010 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HalfMumHalfBiscuit · 27/02/2010 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread