My fears about giving birth - please help if you've been through it

[Pinkflipflop]

Hi ladies

I'm v fascinated with childbirth and basically how women are able/brave enough to go through with it!

Think I may be obsessed with collecting info, reading birth stories, focusing on the pain element such as stitches without pain relief, CS, pooing during delivery.

Also have been reading lots about horrible horrible MW's 100 hours labours, being made to go into stirrups during delivery, feeling like a piece of meat - can't imagine coping with the loss of dignity

How do I know if I really could cope with everything that goes with giving birth? Have a v v supportive husband - but I'm not sure if I can do it.

So nervous, not sure if I really could.

Also, 3 people I know have had v poor birthing experiences in the last few months, and I am terrified.

Is it all worth it, in that does the pain really go away? Someone told me after delivery they were screaming as a doctor came at them with a needle to do the stitches with no pain relief - I can't think of anything worse.

Be gentle

I so could not run a mile, let alone a marathon!!! but I can give birth!

I had two very different experiences of birth, with my first I was terrified and it was long, drawn out and painful. Second was a home birth, totally relaxed and not nearly as bad, I didn't need any pain relief.

But, with both, the fact is, labour is a relief. It is an urban myth that pregnancy lasts 9 months. It actually lasts 8 months and one year, because the last month feels that long. You are so fed up of feeling like a beached whale that, even while terrified with my first, if someone had said to me "OK, we can get this baby out, but we just need to cut your leg off." I would have gratefully agreed.

and then you get a baby for your efforts!

Hi! I was exactly the same as you and still fascinated now-even after the birth! But my birth ended up in c-section-so I'm still eager to know what a 'normal' birth is like or whether I want to know! I did get to 10cm though-and yes it is very very bad-and its best that you prepare yourself for that because I wasn't and felt very shocked and scared especially when I got sent home from the hospital at only 1cm-I thought she was coming out any second-I had all the family in the waiting room-telling them that I wouldn't be long-little did I know she would be another 24 hours!! But I can honestly say-it was so exciting!! My waters broke on the duf duf's on Eastenders! The pain was like a burning ball of heavy fire and an overwhelming pressure but it goes and then you are fine until the next-but you will probably think in each one that you can't do another but you can-you need to write in your birth plan that you need a lot of encouragement because my one just carried on with her notes during contractions. Thats when I thought I wasn't strong enough nd started giving up-but I was ok. I got to 10cm and they realised she was the wrong way round-which they should have picked up way before. (be strong in your last antenatal apps if they think the baby is the wrong way round-have her turned and don't let them say 'I think she's the right way round-think isn't good enough!!' They gave me an epidural as I had to wait 3 hours for the swelling of my early pushing to swell down-but it was fine-I had a sleep, so a nice break from it all! Then after an hour of pushing-still no joy so stirrups and ventouse-bit humilliating but you just want your baby out and the staff are so blaze` about your bits that you feel a bit better! She still didn't come out so it was a c-section. I was really dissappointed! and I found the c-section very uncomfortable so they gave me vallium! But it was all worth it when I heard that funny cry!! I was a bit away with the fairies for about a day and don't remember a lot of that day-but I remember how well I was looked after and how kind all the midwives were and how amazed I was at the pretty little baby that was all mine! Its absolutely horrendous and equally amazing-I reccommend it! Good luck!

of course you will be able to do it, because once you are pregnant there isn't much choice in the matter.
my births were horrible due to lots of complications and have had a major impact on me emotionally, BUT, their impact is massively outweighed by the children i got at the end of them

i didn't expect my births to go so badly, either time, but if i could go back in time i woudl go through it all again to get the baby at the end.
and i don't think i'm unusual in this respect.