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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Last nights One Born Every Minute Programme

26 replies

MumNWLondon · 17/02/2010 12:47

I felt very sorry for Sam, partly I thought the midwifes were so over stretched they couldn't give her the attention she needed.

Clearly she wasn't coping very well, but I can't help thinking this was in part due to lack of preparation (eg not sure what sort of ante-natal course she had attended if any) on her behalf, and hence she was very scared/panicked which made it all worse.

I felt that she wasn't coping well because she really needed one to one care from sympathetic midwife who wouldn't tell her (like her mum) to pull herself together etc. I know that not everyone needs one to one care the whole time they are there but some do.

I realise I may get shouted done over this - my views are partly as I am a big believer in the theory that the more fear you bring to a birth the more painful it will be...

Also if any first time mums saw it do not be alarmed by what you saw, no reason to think that you will be like that.

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GlastonburyGoddess · 17/02/2010 12:49

theres already a thread about this in AIBU

rubyslippers · 17/02/2010 12:51

i wholly agree

the best thing would have been to keep her mobile, keep her calm and show her how to use the gas and air properly

she was damn scared

also, she was only 2 cm dilated -better that she had gone home and laboured there maybe? Her labour wasn't even established and she was flat on her back, panicking

poor girl - she really needed support be it from a MW, her partner or her mum ...

Original poster
MumNWLondon · 17/02/2010 13:21

Just looked the the AIBU thread and I think they are being far too harsh on her. Poor girl was terrified and didn't have the support she needed - during the birth, and possibly before.

Rubyslippers - agree - only 2cm and flat on back panicked, madness.

OP posts:
pigleychez · 17/02/2010 13:52

Theres also another thread about this in Telly addicts.

Quite a few people got upset at others comments about her being dramamtic as the pains not bad at 2cm.

Everyone deals with pain differently and the strength of pain can vary greatly.
The contractions dont necessarily get stronger the more you dilate, for some they start fullwhack and continue that way! ie me.. From the start mine were 2minutes long each and double peaking. Had 27 hours of that before theatre. It was a killer!

Anyway.. looking forward to next weeks one

marthamay · 17/02/2010 14:04

Sorry but what is AIBU!?

pigleychez · 17/02/2010 14:15

AIBU- stands for Am I being Reasonable

pigleychez · 17/02/2010 14:15

Unreasonable! Doh!

InmaculadaConcepcion · 17/02/2010 14:28

Sounds like my labour - contractions accelerated to full blast by the time I got to 2cm, then I started dilating at the rate of 1cm every 15 mins... then EmCS for a breech baby...

Damn hurt!! Even without fear.

ShinyAndNew · 17/02/2010 14:34

I'm watching this now on 4od. I feel quite sorry for Sam. There was a young girl on the ward similar when I was being induced with dd2. She wasn't dilated at all but seemed toi be im so much paoin. She was begging them to help her/give her something/take her to the labour suite/phone her mum/anything but they basically told her to get a grip

We don't have access to ante natal courses here and this was her first baby, she was alone and scared.

I don't get the issue with the food and the diabetic. Instead of making such a fuss, surely her DH could just go and get something from the Cafe/vending machine for her?

minimoonumbertwo · 17/02/2010 15:21

sorry, can someone tell me why she had a c-section? I was flicking between that & the Brits and missed that bit!! Thanks

SelinaDoula · 17/02/2010 15:23

Baby started having prolonged decellerations (heart beat going very slowly for long periods of time) indicating serious distress.
Selina

minimoonumbertwo · 17/02/2010 15:30

Thanks selina!

Missus84 · 17/02/2010 15:44

I agree - she was scared, unprepared and in pain. No one helped her to manage the pain at all.

LynetteScavo · 17/02/2010 15:51

I agree with you, MumNWLondon.

I was very much like Sam when I had DS1. I'd done NHS and NCT ante natal classes, and my older sisters had had babies, so I thought I was well prepared. I really needed to have one to care form a kind person. Being left alone in a strange hospital with only a very nervous DH to keep me company was not what I needed.

LynetteScavo · 17/02/2010 15:53

And when will they stop telling woman who are three cm dilated that they are "only" three cm dilated, and they are "not doing very well".

FFS, 3cm is a 3rd of the way there. Labouring woman need encouragement, not to be told they aren't doing very well.

Original poster
MumNWLondon · 17/02/2010 17:38

I don't doubt she was in a lot of pain, I just think that with appropriate care ie showing her how to do breathing, not letting on her back, encouraging her to move around she could have coped a lot better.

Part of me thinks now NHS hospitals should employ doulas....

OP posts:
liahgen66 · 17/02/2010 17:47

im humble opinion, there was only ever one outcome for that poor girl. Noway could she allow her body to labour well when she was that scared and unsupported. Her bf was useless, not cos he didn't care but he hadn't a clue and the "helpful" mother with her comments. At this point, I try and encourage interfering mothers to grab a coffee or go get something to eat.

Hull does emply doulas to support some mothers I believe.

Poor girl. I wonder if anyone had actually talked to her about what the reality of childbirth might really be like.

Just glad she and baby were ok by the end. at bloody mw wandering about past her so very obviously using the G&A badly

UnrequitedSkink · 17/02/2010 18:30

I got the impression her mum was more embarrassed by her than anything else!

mama2moo · 17/02/2010 20:19

I wonder what difference it makes knowing that there is a camera on you the whole time?

I must admit I did chuckle when watching it (some parts of it). But did feel sorry for her. Why was she on her back? That happened last week. And she was breathing so fast on the gas and air it wouldnt have had any effect. I was in tears when the poor babies heart beat kept dipping like that

I love the programme and cant wait until next week

itwascertainlyasurprise · 17/02/2010 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Edie1010 · 18/02/2010 16:59

I am 6 weeks pregnant with my first and having watched this programme and reading some of the childbirth threads here I am actually petrified of giving birth now
mmmmmm

rubyslippers · 18/02/2010 17:01

don't be petrified

lots of people have great, straight-forward births with no intervention

you just don't tend to hear about them

newpup · 18/02/2010 17:20

Edie1010 please do not be petrified. For every difficult birth there will be another straight forward one but those do not make such good tv!

I had 2 difficult births BUT I had 2 beautiful healthy babies and that is the most important outcome.

My advice would be, keep calm,stay focused and go with the flow!

You will be fine!

nowwhatdoido · 18/02/2010 17:25

I gave birth to my first baby in that hospital nearly ten years ago, and my experience was very similar. Sad to see that nothing has changed there.

I'd be interested to know if the Princess Anne is the same as most other maternity units in the UK?

Anyhow, the experience totally put me off, and I went on to have two homebirths.

What it came down to is that the staff were just too damn busy and understaffed to provide the "caring" aspect of care. And I got the impression that they were all so used to working in that environment, that they had got out of the habit (if they were ever in the habit in the first place) of humanising the experience for the mother. Just a little bit of kindness and understanding of the individual's needs goes a long way, and I just felt like I was on a conveyor belt in that place. On my own for most of the time, clueless, scared, fobbed off.

They were filming there at the time when I was in too, for city hospital. Bloody cameramen hogging the tea room, ffs.
Awful place, and I'd hate to think that all maternity units are the same.

baby1onway · 20/02/2010 14:26

oh yes i felt so sorry for her!she reminded me a bit of me when i was in labour!it was bloody awful and i was totally panicked bout the whole thing!didnt have any antenatal coz they were all full up my mw forgot bout me!but to be honest no amount of classes could of prepared me for that!my baby is now 5months nearly and still dont think i'd do it again!my mw in liverpool womens was amazing though.