elective c-section after PTSD

[FatSeal]

Just letting off some steam about muppet consultants, and would love to hear from anyone else in a similar boat (either with previous PTSD, or rubbish consultants!)

I sorted out my c-section in writing before I got pg, just to make sure there was no way there would be a repeat of dd's birth trauma.

I'm 30 wks now, and we went to see the consultant this afternoon. First up, she wasn't the one I thought I had the appointment with, and wanted to get to know.

She didn't appear to have done anything past a quick glance at the first page of my notes, mentioning the PTSD. You'd think this would give her a clue to use the kid glove treatment, but obviously not. When she found out that my main concern was going into labour early, then the hospital not bothering to do the section, she gave no reassurance about this, but started on about how they would try to manage and stop any contractions pre-37 wks. This is fair enough, but the thought of it happening is very distressing to me.

Then I pointed out that, if they were very sure to use adequate pain relief in that situation, I might be able to cope, she started to say that perhaps I should reconsider my section choice and look again at other options. She also missed the part where I explained that I have spent much of the intervening 5 years in counselling/ CBT to sort these issues out to the point where I can even consider another baby, and wanted to get me to discuss it with a specially-trained midwife.

"So you want to avoid a vaginal delivery at all costs"?

"No, I just want to avoid being left to scrabble about on the floor in agony for hours thanks"

By this point I am red as a beetroot and very upset.

I had expected to be talked through the procedure and make a few specific plans about what would happen on the day, not justify myself to some uncaring career bitch who keeps MISSING THE F-ING POINT.

To top it all off, I am trying to avoid the high blood pressure I got last time round too, and I'm sure this isn't helping at all.
We were also meant to discuss the growth scans and monitoring plans for this baby, as due to the bp restricting her growth, dd was very small when she was born, and, I kid you not, this woman actually said "so do you think you feel bigger with this baby than last time"? I'm speechless- this is a consultant, not one of my mum friends, I'm relying on her medical expertise and knowledge to monitor the baby's size.

FFS.

At least she did finally book the date in, so we know she eventually agreed to honour the arrangement that was already in place.

Feeling sick, heartburn is really bad tonight, I'm worried about my bp and can't sleep. :-(

Also, now what? Chase up my original consultant and ask for a nicer appointment? Turn up on the 12th April and hope it all goes OK?
Freak out and get sedated and dragged into hospital the morning of?
The mind boggles....

Sorry, what a rant. It'll probably look better in the morning.

I had PTSD after ds1's birth and also went through CBT afterwards. Finally was able to convince dh that I would be able to cope with a second birth but that it would have to be a scheduled section. I was lucky that my OBgyn was totally on board with it (ds1 was an emergency section btw). Ds2's birth was sooo much better. Now, when I hear the word childbirth I don't get the stomach-clenching panic as after ds1. I can remember the wonderful experience of ds2's birth and it's all fine.

Don't let this one appointment get you down. Stick to your guns, have the scheduled section and enjoy your new babe.

I had a traumatic birth with DD 15 months ago. I was able to contemplate getting pregnant again really only because I had the consultant in writing saying I could have an elective. I'm now 21 weeks in and seeing a consultant tomorrow. Wanted to get another birth over with asap so I can never do it again.

The main thing for those of us who have been through a horrific experience is that we come through this time with least trauma, less damage, least recovery time possible. For many of us that will be an elective. Forceps chewed me up something chronic last time and my bladder is still not healed fully.

Really sorry your consultant was so pish. Get that date in, book yourself some massages if you can, eat lovely chocolate and relax as far as is humanly possible for your BP. Can you still access your counsellor to help with some one off sessions while you go through this?

As for asking you about the size!!????!!! Repeated scans get sizing wrong all the time - how on earth are you meant to know!??

I'm seeing my new consultant tomorrow and I so hope she is not the same woman .....

FatSeal, just wanted to say I'm sorry you had such a miserable experience - it seems totally daft that while you have clearly been so well prepared and worked hard in terms of counselling/CBT/advance planning, a consultant has such a perfunctory approach.

One of the points of medical notes is to avoid patients having to go through complicated histories at each appointment. Where there is a history of trauma, this is even more important, and I think it's ridiculous, given your background, that the appt was such a stressful experience for you.

If you can, I really would ask for another appointment. Not with this consultant! but with another, if there is one you are more confident with.

You are perfectly entitled to ask for this. You don't feel that things have been covered adequately and you've been left feeling very worried. It is perfectly reasonable to say this, and to say that you didn't think the consultant you saw seemed to be fully aware of your history.

I would hope another appt could be more helpful and put your mind at rest more. You've had PTSD, you've been very active about dealing with it, and you deserve better.

Agree barkfox. I had an elective section at the C&W. On one of my pre-birth apptmts - in fact it was the 'booking-in' one now I remember, a registrar tried to talk me out of it, and even suggested that they didn't have any free dates in the relevant period. I smiled, walked out, and got my sympathetic GP to book a further appointment with the consultant who had seen me originally and agreed to do the section. The consultant was actually quite angry that her junior had taken it upon himself to lecture me. Stick to your guns and good luck. It's worth it!

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a bit better about it today as I have a plan. I'm going to write to the first consultant that I met, who was extremely understanding and careful to ensure that we had talked about and written down every last detail that was worrying me, and ask her for another appointment. I am also planning to ask her for a quick tour of the operating theatre areas as well, just so I feel totally reassured and prepared for the day, as opposed to completely freaked out.

I also think that, in retrospect, the point about premature labour is valid, i.e. they would try to stop any contractions/ labour at that point, if they could, rather than immediately start in with the section. It was just presented to me in such a worrying way that I got upset, then when I stressed that in that situation pain relief would have to be definitely in place, she took this to mean that I might be able to cope with normal labour if they promised decent pain relief, which is exactly where I don't trust them an inch.

I am hoping that this birth experience in some way mitigates the first, so it was good to hear that this was the case for you, jabberwocky.

Thanks again for all the reassurance

Just thought I'd update this thread with a bit of positive feedback.

Saw my lovely mw this week, who had a letter from my original, very considerate consultant, laying out all the things I wanted to hear them affirm, i.e. that if I went into labour before the scheduled date then they would still perform the section. Phew. Mw has also booked me a long, relaxed, coffee and chat style appointment to go through the section procedures and the video of the theatre areas.

Feeling much happier about all this now, hopefully random woman was just that and I won't ever bump into her again.

That sounds really good fatseal, what a relief for you! Thanks for updating.