visitors and support after c section

[mrsmarshall]

hi there
my parents and inlaws are keen to come to see new baby asap after the c section which I am booked in for. DH will be with me for the op and its our first baby. I have heard that mums can feel pretty tired after the op and whole experience. how soon would you advise us to have visitors to the hospital and should i avoid allowing them to descend en masse and for a long periods of time? neither the parents nor the inlaws live near us so they plan to book in to a hotel near the hospital for 4 nights ( to coincide with my stay in hosp of 4 nights) so they can visit us and baby loads and then they have volunteered to come to stay with us when we are home with the baby for "as long as we want". all v sweet but am wondering if it will all be too much; we dont have a big house so it could be crowded and DH is off for 2 weeks with paternity leave so maybe best to decline the offers and maybe ask them to come and help out later in the spring if pss? Hope I dont sound ungrateful but am really confused. Any suggestions/advice welcome! (PS I tried to post almost the identical message 30 mins ago but didnt seem to work so apologies if duplicate message appears!)

I would ask for them to come and stay once OH has gone back to work, citing inability to drive for 4 weeks as your main reason. That way you have given them a positive reason to delay coming to stay. Having my mum around after my section was great but my MIL was a bit terrifying! She was frankly dangerous in the car, and once she had cleaned inside all my cupboards she ironed all my knickers!

While in hospital I would let them come and visit after a while - I was bored rigid in hospital, as my daughter was in SCBU so I didn't have all day with her.

Not had a C-Section but lost a lot of blood following a normal delivery and was pretty unwell after the birth. Inlaws had booked flights to come over from spain 2 weeks after my due date and I went 10 days over . I hated having them stay in my house when I felt awful and they were no help what so ever. My mum on the other hand was fab and came down while I was still in hospital and really looked after us all when I came out.

IMO visits in hospital are manageable because there are set hours for everyone except the Dad which means they're only with you for a short time each day. Lets them see their new grandchild without too much stress for you. But, stand your ground with your decision to have or not have people stay in your house. You will want to slob around in your PJ's, get some sleep when your baby does and not have to worry about catering for guests. If you feel you can do that (and they will help rather than sit and wait to be offered a cup of tea) then it might be helpful to have someone stay, otherwise avoid like the plague. I will not have anyone to stay other than (perhaps) my mum if we have another, however much that upsets the inlaws.

Also try to discourage house visitors for the first few weeks.

thanks both, its really helpful to hear your views. I will have a further think and then make my decision and try to stand my ground!