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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

For anyone whose mother has been present during labour...

44 replies

TheChicOfIt · 02/02/2010 16:57

Did she comment on anything?

My mum was in the waiting room outside the labour ward, and when she came in to see ds, she said "Did you hear that poor woman screaming? That was awful."

To which I replied "That was me!"

She said "What were you screaming for? I didn't make that noise when I had you?"

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Mumcentreplus · 02/02/2010 21:36

My mum was there for my first birth...actually i was glad.. but she did make me laugh..I kept kicking off the sheet and she kept putting it back on??...I really wanted to say DH has seen it all..actually he has sucked it all!....i think she was trying to keep my dignity or something..that was the only thing that pissed me off really..she was there for me 100%..but she has a tendancy to have a foot in mouth problem..one thing though she is very forthright and hardcore when it comes to her children..sometimes you need that support in hospital..

mamazon · 02/02/2010 21:36

mum was in the room whilst i gave birth to both of my children.

with my first i had a very traumatic time and she was nothing but supportive. with my first she gave me the sort of honest "pull your socks up and get on with it" that only a mum could.

CantThinkofFunnyName · 02/02/2010 21:39

Yes my mum was there at birth of DC1. The only comment she really made that I remember is "My goodness, you made that look easy!" - the benefits of an epidural before she got there!!!!

lambanana · 02/02/2010 21:41

Mum was at my second birth (dd1) and was very encouraging - she let me nearly pull her arm out of its socket without flinching! She wasnt supposed to be there but I had such a fast labour it just happened (dh was there too btw)!

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 02/02/2010 21:44

Godness, I coud never have my mother there. She was a midwife and HV in about the 70's and comes up with such corkers now about it all. She is terribly 'powerful' too and would have the doctors/MWs doubting themselves in about the

fabhead · 02/02/2010 21:57

Mine was allright in the labour, not too annoying but not that much help either (mind you neither was DP first time). However, I never really forgave her for the comment that came when I finally got home after 5 nightmare, nightmare days with a sick baby on the post natal ward from hell (St Thomas') after no visits and no help in any shape or form: "sorry, I just can't be in your cubicle, it's so noisy and clastophobic I just couldn't come to the hospital again" - yeah? try being stuck in it for 5 days with 4 screaming babies!

Didnt have her there second time, wouldn't again, but at least DP was more helpful second time around (made sure the midwives didnt force me to do anything I didnt want to do, caught the poo, single handedly delivered DP2 with one hand while simultaneosly pushing the panic button with the other when they ignored me telling them birth was imminent and went for a tea break). If I had to have anyone it would be him tho, tbh, both times I really wished everyone would leave me the f* alone and let me get on with it. I am hoping that next time I can just sneak to the bathroom in the night, get on with it and the get DP to take us to the hospital for a check up.

fabhead · 02/02/2010 21:59

DS2 not DP2! that would be weird

scrappydappydoo · 02/02/2010 22:13

Aw these stories have made me really emotional and teary - I really hope I can be that kinda of Mum for my dds. My mum made it very clear from the beginning that she thought it was weird and strange for her to be there I just nodded but secretly I would loved her to be there and hold my hand/stroke my hair and just look after me. Dh was great even though both times neither of us really seemed to comprehend what was going on iykwim.
(scrappy puts down the bottle glass of wine)

thesecondcoming · 02/02/2010 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

TheChicOfIt · 03/02/2010 09:30

Aw, thesecondcoming bless you. My ds was posterior but luckily turned during labour.

Your mum sounds just like mine. That is the sort of thing she would say too.

After the birth ds and I were both ill and had to stay in hospital for 5 days- we still don't know what it was, but they could tell from blood tests it was some sort of infection.

She was furious and kept saying, "Well you were both fine when I left you yesterday". I'm not sure if she was implying that we were lying or that I had done something wrong, but it really pissed me off!

OP posts:

DwayneDibbley · 03/02/2010 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

minxofmancunia · 03/02/2010 12:37

There's no way i would have wanted my mum there for either of my dcs birth. She would have sodded off somewhere a couple of hours in anyway with an excuse about going to choir practice or something . Turned up an hour late to pick dd up from friends whilst i was in abour with ds because she needed to stop for a coffee, it's a 45 minute drive.

dh was enough for me, although I really really want to be there for dd is she wants me there. but after my experiences with my Mum generally since having dcs I'm going to be a LOT more hands on and helpful than my parents are. i know what positive difference it will make afer my own shitty experiences.

she can be lazy and selfish at the best of times although denies this completely.

Sorry for rant.

ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 12:45

I wish I had the sort of mother who could have been there. She's great in many ways but when told I'd been upset and crying during labour she told me that 'it doesn't hurt at all, I've had bangs on the head that hurt more'. She's always waffling on about women making noise and fuss during labour like they're making it up.

If I ever, ever, ever do it again, which I absolutely will not btw, I want lulu and ruby's mum there please.

bobblehat · 03/02/2010 12:46

I wouldn't have wanted my mum at either birth, but MIL was there for the second, which was a very quick non planned home birth.

I think she was too shocked to say anything 'supportive' but did a fine job of making tea for the paramedics when they arrived!

ConnorTraceptive · 03/02/2010 12:47

Can't imagine my mum being there at all tbh. If I try to visualise it I just see her sitting in a corner playing online bingo

rubyslippers · 03/02/2010 12:52

i would be honoured if my DD asked me to be with her

it isn't soemthing i would expect but i would be very pleased if she wanted me there

bibbitybobbityhat · 03/02/2010 12:54

Lol at bingo!

cyteen · 03/02/2010 13:04

My mum would have made a great birth partner, I think. Shame really. Had a bit of fun stringing my dad along that I was going to request his attendance As if!

Lulumama · 04/02/2010 20:09

me and ruby would come to , SoH

i would also be honoured if my DD did want me there, but knowing her, she'd have her dad instead. he'd be a pretty fine birth partner, he has absorbed quite a lot by osmosis, i am sure i caught him flicking thorugh spiritual midwifery ...

my dad was with me for about 10 minutes of my labour, he hoicked me up off the floor between contracttions, patted me on the shoulder, and said " i'll get your mum!"

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