How to stop pushing when crowning. Share your wisdom.

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

I'm having a sweep in 11 days at 38 weeks- then I'm getting induced if that doesn't work.

When I had DS, I tried to stop pushing when they told my but my body just pushed all by itself and really, really hard. I was saying 'I can't stop' and afterwards I apologised to the midwife who said 'don't worry, he's here safe'. Which is very true, but it'd be lovely not to rip this time.

I got a 2nd degree tear and a huge graze behind my clit which still hurts now.

How do I stop this pushing?

You can't stop the natural expulsive reflex of your uterus, which sounds like what was going on before. You can control things a bit by using your breath: breathe quickly in to fill your lungs then breathe out slowly while directing the enrgy down and out through your vagina. You can practice this when you have a poo, instead of pushing breathe and kind of nudge down at the end of the breath. Sounds crazy but it works.

Not the easiest thing to do if lots of people are trying to direct you from outside.

think about what position you where in too. I know you weer asking about positions in regard to you SPD, so might be worth asking midwife advice regards grazing.
i gave birth to DS1 on my side and had awful grazes but none with DS2 despite him being much bigger on my hands and knees.
As not pushing you will hopefully be more aware of what your body is up to having experienced it already so should be much more aware of how to manage the urge.

good luck and hope you are feeling much more realaxed about everything.

Rain.xx

It took me to DS3's delivery (previous epidural and CS) to realise the 'urge' to push is no urge, but an impossible to resist IMPERATIVE - like you said, your body pushes, not you!

I do not think that it is possible to not push at this stage, other than not pushing in addition IYKWIM. Also, allowing your body to do the pushing whilst relaxing everything else seems to be the trick - now how to achieve this, I'll be interested to learn on this thread (35 weeks and counting...).

Good luck to us both!

Not sure really as I didnt consciously push, both times the second stage just happened.

But re the tear, I also had a second degree tear during first birth and was very keen to avoid another one so did lots of research.

The general consensus was try and have a water birth, give birth on all fours and put your hand to the baby's head when s/he is crowning, I read that this is esp good in preventing tearing. I did all three with second birth - first birth was on our bed, on all fours and I didnt connect with DS1's head, too busy screaming!

Second time round I didnt have a tear or even a graze, so it worked for me...

Good luck.

Our NCT teacher told us to pant at this stage. When I went into labour it was the one and only thing I remembered from the classes. It's all a bit blurry, but I definitely managed to do this during the birth of dc2 resulting in no tear. I think I tried to do it with dc3, but she just kind of shot out. (Mind you, it was 30 mins start to finish and I didn't do any voluntary pushing at all. In fact, I was rather hoping she would stay in until the midwife arrived.)

Can I ask a really stupid first-timer question, which is what on earth is a graze behind your clitoris? Inside? How does that happen?

i think that is what i meant about knowing what your body is doing and being able to realx and allow it to happen, Panna.
Put much better in your words.

fizi i have my legs crossed thinking about it and my fingers in my ears, and i am just about to pop with DC3.

When your body takes over there is nothing you can do. I had DD2 at home and I remember the midwife telling me to wait and I said I can't as it was just happening. At the moment I thought it was the most amazing thing as I didn't get that experience with DD1.

However, I do remember crowning away and she asked me to wait...and I waited...I was laughing and telling my DH he was doing a great job lol Then the next contraction came and my body did it's thing...I didn't have a choice in waiting or pushing. My body just knew what to do.

With DD1 I had major tears and grazes and it was just plain bad. DD2...not a single boo boo and I was right as rain. I am not a negative 'modern medicine' person, but after doing it both ways, I can see how doing it naturally allows your body to react and take over. I wish I would have had the same experience the first time

Good luck and congrats!

sorry meant to thank pacific for her wording.
i need to stop mn and go to bed!!!

I was in the car on the way to hospital when I got the urge to push - I had 30-45 minutes when I really really did not want to push (did not want to have the baby in the layby on a dual carriageway).

I somehow absorbed the pressure to push into my upper body, into my arms and also my rib cage as I tried to breath out long and slow. I was also repeating the mantra 'relax;relax;relax' to myself.
It's very hard to describe - but must have worked as I got to hospital with 10mins to spare before baby arrived at high-speed.

I was also in a car on the way to hospital and irrationally terrified of baby arriving there so was on all fours [knees and elbows] on the back seat trying to stick my bum in the air. It was quite uncomfortable but seemed to work as I didn't have a contraction for another 15-20 mins and then as soon as I got out of the car I had to lie on the ground and she popped out. No pushing.
I guess maybe thats only useful if you want to delay but maybe you want to control.

Gosh, all of these stories are so interesting!
Must try all fours position again, although after induction with DS1 I found contractions in that position totally unbearable - weird, as lots of people I have spoken to in RL as well find that a very good position. I was only comfortable flat on my back or lying on my left - again...

Hi all, only got a minute but this thread is so interesting, had to respond. Due to the SPD, midwife said all 4s is best. I remember not being able to do this last time as it was agony but I hope that this time I will be able to as it definately sounds the best on this thread.

I can't have a water birth as the baby has to have a monitor attached to her head.

Pacific- sounds like we had a similar experience.

I found that you can only push when you have the urge and you just have to go with it.

Oh and Fizi- the graze is inside so orgasm or a desperate need for a wee or random cramp really hurt. Or if I sit in the same place for a long time. Hard to describe really.