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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Concerned about not being able to get the birth you want?

48 replies

mears · 30/01/2010 12:17

then look here

I keep reading about women 'not being allowed' a certain birth choice.

You cannot be told you are 'not allowed' in the UK. You should be advised about choices then you make an informed choice.

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StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 30/01/2010 12:32

But you should also bear in mind that however much you plan the birth, and agree the details of what you want in advance with everyone else involved, things may not go as you expect, and you must be ready to be flexible when you are in labour if things change.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 30/01/2010 12:35

Mears, if I send you a crate will you ship yourself to me and come hold my hand during my antenatal appointments?

Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 12:38

You are right StayingDavidTennansGirl. THat is why there should be discussion about risks and plans made of when to transfer etc.

But women seem to think that they have no choice when it comes to challenging situations. There is choice.

It may be though that following decent discussions, the woman will understand why it may be in her best interests to change her plans. Much better to be in agreement than feel than feeling 'not allowed'.

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Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 12:40

JamesAndTheGiantBanana

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Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 12:56

In theory we have a choice, I am finding hard to actually have one.

Consultant only option to me, consultant led unit (continuous monitoring, drip, no food, no water pool, no toilet, no room for birth ball or even walk around just bed)

He has declined permission for midwife led unit and home birth. Based on previous cs so I am likely to rupture, likely big baby.

So the only choice I can make is to opt out of hospital and have a home birth (which I would like anyway but they have me worried about the rupture) and pray I get a supportive midwife attending me. Which is unlikely in my case. I ended up with the wonderful SOM last time.

Sigh, choice is all well and good if you get one, hospital protocols prevent a lot of us having any.

Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 12:59

I'm very open to any ideas of how to get a choice and/or locate a supportive midwife will be gratefully received.

I am in a 'close my eyes and hope for a miracle stage' at the moment

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 30/01/2010 13:00

Babieseverywhere, did you have a big baby last time, or are they basing that prediction on growth scan results?

Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:02

But Babieseverywhere - this is my point. The SOM will be able to help you get the care you want in hospital.

It is not up to the consultant to deny you the choice of the midwifery unit.

You do not have to have continuous monitoring nor any of the other things. Does your unit have a consultant midwife too? She can also help.

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Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:03

If the SOM in not supportive (she should be) then you go up a gear to the LSAMO

LSAMO contact details

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Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 13:06

We have big babies in the family. First baby (no GD) 8lbs 12ozs and second baby (no GD) 10lbs 1oz. I declined growth scans, it was clear from my bump he was a big 'un.

IMO he was meant to be that big he has remained on the 99% line of the red book and now at 18 months is looks like an older child, he is tall and well built.

But big babies don't necessarily mean problems, I laboured at home dilated fine but he turned sideways during labour and being sideways even a 6 pounder would not of come out It was his position not his size that was a problem.

Lulumama · 30/01/2010 13:08

yoo hoooooo Mears! lovely to see you!

IME, the supervisor of midwives will help , i know BE had a v v difficult time last time re her birth choices, but that is for BE to commetn on, but i don't thikn all SOMs are as approachable as others and it can be exhausting to have to fight your corner

i cannot receommend enough getting in touch with AIMS. St Beverley Of Beech is just amazing. I emailed her re my sister and a possible breech birth situation and she replied within hours with a lot of useful information and support.

even if you are deemed high risk, there is not a reason now for a consultatnt to decree you must remain motionless on the bed for delivery. if it becomes apparent that CFM or a scalp monitor is necessary, then taht can be discussed as teh need arises

blanket application of protocols don't help anyone really

Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 13:11

mears, thanks for the info.

Sadly I am already in touch with the SOM and a lady from the LSA from the last unsupportive birth

The SOM (wonderful lady) is talking to the other consultants to see if any of them would be willing to take me on and be able to give me any choices...the silence is deafening but I am waiting to hear back from her. I really trust and value this SOM and she would prefer me to be in the midwife led unit than at home but sees no need for me to be consultant led.

The just as loving LSA lady, who again was highly supportive last time, is gob smacked that the consultant was called in when I was 10 weeks pregnant and had already decided on how I should labour She has offered to help if I need it, but I am waiting for the SOM's response first.

Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:14

This can be achieved Babieseverywhere. SOM needs to be tough with consultant. Been there, done that

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Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:15

Maybe tough not the right word - creative perhaps?

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Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 13:34

The consultant has flatly refused any compromise, arrogant person.

Which is why SOM seeing anyone else will be supportive.

TBH I think I would choose home over midwife led unit anyway (guaranteed water pool for a start) but it would be nice to have an option.

Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:39

The bottom line would be though, that if you labour in the midwifery unit (which he does not have the right to dicate over) then if there were any issues that resulted in a need to transfer to the consultant unit, care would have to be given by the medical team on duty on the day. That cannot be denied.

The midwifery care plan can be agreed and the consultant is presented with a copy of it. Just the same as it would be in a homebirth scenario IMO.

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Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 13:40

Sorry, I have overtook this thread, in the main most women have choices in birth and that is a good thing

Just wish I knew what I did wrong, I don't want to have to fight every foot of the way. Do the community midwifes dislike me ? The SOM thinks I am being reasonable, why am I treated like a bad child for not agreeing to another nightmare hospital birth like my first. I just want to have the least bad birth attempt possible.....>

Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:41

We have a VBAC clinic run by the consultant midwife and women can choose to birth in the pool if they want. Does the unit have a consultant midwife?

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Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 13:43

xposted with Mears

"The midwifery care plan can be agreed and the consultant is presented with a copy of it. Just the same as it would be in a homebirth scenario IMO."

I wish it worked like that here. SOM said unless an consultant agreed the midwife led unit was not allowed fullstop.

Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:43

You are absolutely right BE. The midwives don't dislike you - they are worried about something that is not the norm and the SOM is there to support them too.

Hope it goes well for you in the end.Can you let us know what happens?

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Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 13:44

Yes, the SOM is an consultant midwife as well.

Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:44

I get so sad and frustrated to see things like this. If one can do it, why can't others?

Can't believe this stance.

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Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2010 13:49

"Hope it goes well for you in the end."
Thanks

After two failed births, I am not stupid enough to expect a straight forward birth. I just want a baby whos entry to the world, does not add to the flashbacks and nightmares I still get 3.6 years after my DD arrived.

Last time the community midwife issue was big baby equals shoulder problems equals death and yes she actually said my baby would die. SOM was happy to support me at home, as big baby wasn;t a problem for her.

This time problems are big baby and rupture

Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:54

By that I mean I hope you get the choice you want. I still can't believe that the SOM can't get you into the midwifery unit. I hope she manages to get that sorted.

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Original poster
mears · 30/01/2010 13:59

Is this information of any use to help BE? It isn't my unit but perhaps might give some confidence to consultant? Maybe SOM has seen it.

VBAC waterbirth

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