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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Birth experiences - it's one day in your life right ?

12 replies

MillyMollyMoo · 24/01/2010 22:00

I've been giving this far too much thought I'm sure but am expecting my 4th in june. If I go into labour during the day it's all good, grandma can pick the kids up in a taxi and baby sit until I come home, but all my babies have started at night.
So I'm thinking a home birth might be a good idea but am terrified if again it happened In the night we'd have no childcare he'd have to look after the kids. If I had to transfer I'd be on my own, the local midwives seem very supportive but I'm considering bankrupting myself and having an independant just so I know I'll be supported no matter what, I'd also get post natal care which I have never had before and breast feeding support. On the other hand I keep thinking oh it's one day just get on with it.
Wwyd?

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BoffinMum · 24/01/2010 22:10

I would go with the flow and be pleasantly surprised by the milk of human kindness on the day.

I bet you would go into labour at a convenient time - my mws have always said that this happens more often that you would ever imagine.

diddl · 25/01/2010 08:13

How old are you children?

Would they sleep through?

heth1980 · 25/01/2010 09:19

I'm watching with interest as i have the same problem. I'm due in about 6 weeks and already have a 22mo DD......both grandmas live 2.5 hours away and my last labour was 6 hours from first contraction. I'm hoping to have a home birth so I can at least be in familiar surroundings even if DH has to be off in another room with DD. Really sympathise though.....I really really dread the thought of having to go off on my own in a taxi to hospital. I keep trying to tell myself it's only giving birth and I've done it before.........

MillyMollyMoo · 25/01/2010 09:41

The children are 6, 7 & 9
I have absolutely no idea if they'd sleep through, maybe it's more a case of getting them to leave me alone if it was say 7pm or getting them to go to bed if it was later. I suppose I might be able to farm them out to friends and neighbours but it's the incertainity I don't like.

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verycherry · 25/01/2010 10:39

It's so hard isn't it not having any idea when you will actually go into labour - it forces you to think about all the possible things that may happen/need to be organised etc etc.

I had ds4 3.5 weeks ago, all my labours have been very short I was slightly obsessing about what would happen when I went into labour (also have ds1-16, ds2-14 and ds3-2.5) but told myself I have not control over what will happen and will just have to deal with it when it does.

I had a homebirth, I had strong feelings that he would be born on a certain date and at night, sure enough he was born on the date I thought and at 02.20!

Ds1&2 were actually out for the night, I was more worried about them waking up and being completely freaked out - the very idea of the baby being born in the living room was gross apparently!

Ds3 stayed asleep til 8 that morning and was most bemused to find a baby in mummys bed...

My homebirth was fantastic, labour was 20 mins start to finish, only about 7 contractions, pushing on all of them and not that painful. Ds4 was delivered by his daddy just as the paramedic arrived, midwives got there 20 mins later! I am v lucky.

I'd say just go with the flow, it will work out and if it happens at night and your dc's usually sleep through then they prob won't wake. Ds3 slept through the ambulance car, ambulance, and midwivesx2 all arriving separately.

I found I had great care (for the limited time I needed them on the night!) and better postnatal care, all the midwives knew me even though I saw several of them, as they all felt a bit more involved with it being a homebirth.

Wishing you all the luck in the world, am very would love to do it all again!

joanne34 · 25/01/2010 10:40

Milly... how have previous births been ? Normal ?

If so, why not consider the home birth, involve the kids.... Its celebration day

They will probably sleep through anyway, but wouldnt it be nice if they were part of it ?

I'm considering this now... bit late maybe as im 34 weeks, but i have a 6.5 DS and am worried whether we will make it to drop him off at his dads before we go to the hospital for me....

MillyMollyMoo · 25/01/2010 10:48

If I go with a home birth then that's where the independant midwife comes in I think because I'd like a bit of looking after myself and as dh will have the kids and a business to run I doubt I'll get a look in.
Thinking about it they most likely will sleep through, I've had an ambulance to the house before and nobody stirred.
Everyone keeps telling me to go to hospital for a rest but previous experience tells me they aren't very restful places.

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MrsBadger · 25/01/2010 10:50

if grandma would fetch the kids for a day labour, could you not ring her to come over for a nigth labour and stay with the kids if you ended up havign to transfer?

I also echo what Boffin says re convenient times - I was hideously worried about childcare for this labour as have no family closer than 2h away and I am a quick birther! However, ds made his appearance in the middle of the night while my parents were staying, so I was away from dd for a total of one morning and she didn't bat an eyelid.

flybynight · 25/01/2010 11:07

I'm in the same boat, MillyMollyMoo.
Expecting my 4th with 9, 8 and 6 yr olds to bear in mind, and all family a 4hr drive away.

I'm going for the home birth option and having had three fast (last one 20 mins) and straightforward deliveries, I'm not anticipating the need to transfer to hospital. BUT if that does happen, in the night, say, I'll farm my children out to nearby friends. They will have an overnight bag ready. People don't mind chipping in when it is an emergency. Most people like to be asked!

All three of mine were born in the early afternoon, so hopefully they'll be at school. I'm due the week after the easter holidays though. Typical lack of planning.

MillyMollyMoo · 25/01/2010 11:23

My mil was the one who offered to pay for an abortion upon hearing the news of her 4th grandchild so whilst she might pop herself in a taxi at our expense I doubt she'd haul herself out of bed just because I was bleeding to death.

I think the home birth is the way to go but would you have an independant to mother you a bit or spend the cash on eating out and a cleaner and pray breast feeding works out ok ?

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flybynight · 25/01/2010 11:34

Bloody hell! No, I wouldn't go counting on her getting up for you.

Depending on where you are and what you local homebirth service is like, I'd keep the money. Use it for a cleaner and some babysitting. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

I also struggle with BFing, despite having doen it three times (oh, the bleeding, cracked nipples - worse than labour for me) and I will be throwing myself on the mercy of the La Leche League for advice.

charliegal · 25/01/2010 11:35

i did bankrupt myself for independent midwife and had a fantastic homebirth, not to mention amazing post natal care. Worth every penny imo.

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