1st baby due anyday slightly anxious

[elp34]

I'm 40+1 weeks with my first baby and i think i have been fairly relaxed about the whole pregnancy so far. The only thing is i'm not looking forward to being in labour and have kind of buried my head in the sand....pretending it won't happen. I am really scared about the pain, being in hospital and generally the embarrasement of it all. I know everyone says you won't care about it once your in labour but it doesn't stop me thinking about it now. I also have never experienced pain or spent time in hospital and i also work for the NHs which i think makes it worse.
My MW wants to discuss a sweep with me on Monday and the thought of it turns my stomach. The whole childbirth scenario is just making me cringe at the moment and i wondered if anyone else had similiar thoughts...or just me!!

Oh honey, me too with my first. Have a chat with your Midwife on Monday, about these feelings, she'll probably be very kind and sensitive and completely understand and may even suggest a different method for encouraging labour, than a sweep if after she's spoken about it some more with you, you're still not keen.

Remember when you do go into labour, if you do not get on with your midwife, you can ask for another. Make sure they are aware of your feelings on the day.

I was very lucky with my first labour and had a very very understanding and sensitive midwife. And as my labour progressed we changed what pain relief I had, as I started with a TENS machine at home, then gas and air, then pethidine and finally an epidural as I had some complications and needed something stronger. However things go for you on the big day, there is plenty of options for pain relief to help you.

Keep yourself busy to take your mind off it by reading or seeing friends or something...

Good luck x

Thanks for your supportive and kind words. I've seen my MW this morning and she isn't in so much of a rush for the sweep now as my BP and urine results are more normal today. She has booked me in for a sweep on Friday if nothing happens before then but i feel confident in saying No if i don't want it.

I hope i go into labour soon as the waiting seems like forever and i just want to get that part out of the way.

i think you are right about expressing my feelings to the midwife when it happens as most of them do seem understanding.

Thanks again

Try not to worry, elp, you'll be fine. A sweep isn't that different to having a smear and its uncomfortable (but not painful) whilst its being done and for half an hour or so afterwards but thats it. I was really worried that my waters would break or that there would be some sort of leakage as I was walking home so wear a panty liner or something for some reassurance. As for labour, just keep an open mind and see how it goes for you. My MW was fab and really talked me through what was going on and suggested when to go from tens to gas & air and then when to have an epidural (which was amazing!). Good luck! Soon you'll have a gorgeous baby in your arms and it will so be worth it.

Honestly elp - giving birth is nothing to worry about.

I was like you 3 months ago with my first. I used to be so terrified of the thought of giving birth I almost never had children, then I thought I'd get pg and take it one day at a time. Spent 9 months worrying myself sick about the pain, the indignity etc. and was also worried about afterwards (all the bleeding, stitches etc.)

Anyway to cut a long story short, I had a 4 hour labour with just gas and air, I can hand on heart say it didn't hurt it was just flippin' hard work. I had no stitches, came home just a few hours afterwards.

Midwives are very good at preserving your dignity and there's nothing to worry over on that score.

Nothing to worry about at all and as everyone says it's all forgotten as soon as you hold your lovely baby.

I can't wait to do it again (and I was saying that just hours after doing it the first time so it can't be that bad can it.)

i understand how you feel i used to feel physically sick at the thought but when o actually went into labour didnt even give it a second thought your body and mind just kind of takes over and gets on with it i had gas and air and it was actually rather calm birth no swearing or trying to strangle dp lol

it was actually rather funny had fab midwife and it was just very pleasant did hurt but not in the same way as i was telling myself it would and once baby is laid on you its surprising how quickly its forgotten

you'll be fine yes its worrying as its the unknown but its never as bad as you can imagine in your mind if you cant handle the pain there are other methods of pain relief again if you dont like MW you can ask for another apart from that the end result is just so amazing its all forgotten so fast

I spent my entire pregnancy worrying myself sick about giving birth. My mum nearly died giving birth to me so I was terrified. It really wasn't that bad. I was induced and had an epidural so felt no pain at all. All over in under 7 hours.

Had two lots of stitches, and yes it did hurt for a couple of weeks but nothing I couldn't cope with. Plus you've got a lovely baby to coo over and take your mind off it.

The MWs were very sensitive about preserving my dignity throughout. I had two MWs due to shift change and they were both fantastic.

I'm now looking forward to a natural as possible home birth this time round and feel my birth phobia is cured.

I hope it goes really well for you.

My little boy is coming up to eleven weeks. I still remember how I felt in the weeks before. I was scared of the pain, but more of loosing what little dignity I had retained to the end of pregnancy in labour! I asked DP just before DS crowned, "Will you love me any less if you see me poo?" Oh GOD I was so worried about that. And I know you will have heard it so many times - but you really will not care. Afterwards, maybe, but at the time? Not a snowball in hell's chance!

Yes it hurts. Yes its scary. Yes its hard work. But its so worth it And it really is not that bad (for most people, not belittling those who have had bad experiences). I was induced due to mecronium in my waters, and laboured for about eight hours with a TENS machine, pushed for 40mins, no tears. I was very lucky. The midwives were fantastic, I cannot praise them enough. Tell them that you're scared. If it hurts, ask for pain relief. As you will read on here any times, there are no gold medals for suffering.

If its any consolation, I'm still pretending the birth won't happen

You'll be fine. If you would like to borrow my TENS, am more than happy to lend it to you

ErikaMaye - lol at the pooing bit - I said similar to my other half. On the way up to delivery I apologised in advance for the horrors I was sure he was about to see. As it turns out he saw nothing as stayed up the other end!

I was mortified at the thought of pooing so spent about an hour of my labour on the loo - the midwife then crouched down beside me and asked if I was comfortable - I said no but I'm sure I need to poo - she said "sweetie, that's what it feels like, come on...you don't want to have your baby on the loo!"

Notjusta - Was kind of similar here! They'd just put in the sample for the epidural (which I never had working in the end...) so wasn't allowed to go to the loo. When I asked if I could, she said if I needed a wee to just go I said no... I don't need a wee. So she gave me a bed pan. I was mortified, and out came the never-to-be-forgotten question. I was pushing, feeling like I was constipated, for a couple of minutes, the midwife asked if I was okay, to which I replied, "Yes, just a bit stuck..." At which point she asked if she could examine me... I'd gone from 6cm to 10c in a matter of minutes and his head was right there. Which explained why it wasn't just coming out!!!

PS: - One of my first sentences after he was born, instead of praising how wonderful he was, was to ask if I had done a poo. Once they informed me I hadn't, I started on the praising. Oh the dignity of labour

Everyone who has posted here is right - you won't care about any of the indignities. I thought I would swan into the labour ward looking fragrant, wearing my nice new nightdress with my husband gently holding my arm etc etc. Instead I waddled through the hospital my own (DH was off trying to find parking) wearing my DH's grotty jogging bottoms which were soaked in amniotic fluid.

But you know what - despite me vomiting, bleeding and pooing in front of (and sometimes all over!) my DH, he was in total awe of what I had gone through to have our lovely daughter - to the point where I swear he thought I was some sort of god like creature (that only lasted about week after the birth mind!)

The pain is, well, painful, but epidurals are great and it is true when they say you go off into a bizzare nether world where it is just you and your body focusing on having the baby. It was the most incredible, bonkers and surreal experience of my life and I am geniunely looking forward to it again!

Well, if I can do it, anyone can!
You might be like me and have an easy time.

First one born one hour after first bad pain.

With second I lost plug-midwife examined me & I was 8cm-no pain until then.

Gave birth 2hrs later.
Half an hour of that I dozed through!

Had second on all fours with midwives kneeling on floor behind me trying to see what was going on!

No stitches/tears with either.

No pain relief with first, G&A with second.

Have a good birth partner, listen to MWs re breathing/panting.

And whatever you do, they will have seen worse!

diddl can you have my baby for me? Or at least teach me how you did it..

I would love to know if there's something you could do to prevent tearing? It's my main fear at the moment, apart from the whole other lot of pain that is! Any advice would be appreciated.

Apparently olive oil or calendula oil - my perineum has been bathed in the stuff for the last couple of weeks now! I hate the thought of tearing. I'm 38+5 now, so i won't be far behind you! All the best with it and here's hoping it goes smoothly and swiftly eh!

Get a copy of Ina Mays guide to childbirth and read the stories in there. Calmed me down a bit

i've done it 5 times now elp, all normal deliveries, 2 with epidurals (marvelous) and 43 without (bit more painful!). i can honestly say they were the most amazing hours of my life.
my advice is to be open minded and calm about the whole thing because you don't know how you will feel or cope - each birth is so different. and trust your body, it knows what to do. lucky lucky you with it all ahead of you. wish i could do it again (alas number 5 was my last.....)

i meant to write 3 without epidurals - not 43. blimey that would be quite something wouldn't it??!!!