Recommendations for a Lancashire Doula

[Babieseverywhere]

Hi,

My wonderful doula from DS's birth is no longer practising, though she will make an exception if I can't find anyone else (bless her) So I am on the hunt for recommendations for an strong minded, friendly doula who will be able to attend a home based or midwive led unit birth in Bolton at end of July/early August 2010

Bear in mind I have two failed births behind me.

1. For my first birth, my community midwife refused to come out to me, she disagreed with first time mothers having homebirths So home birth was shelved and I was forced in hospital. Typically waterfall invention issues and ended up with forcep delivery, third degree tear and a complex about birthing. Baby girl 8lbs 12ozs

1. After crying a river, counselling and moving cross country etc laboured in a planned home birth for baby number two. Who turned sideways during birth and was going nowhere. I decided to transfer to hospital ended up with emergency CS. Had problems with Home Birth team midwives who didn't wish to support me in my home birth due to last birth and likehood of big baby, so SOM attended my labour. Baby boy 10lbs 1ozs

1. Sigh. Enters the fray again. I'm waiting to hear if my consultant will give me the choice of Midwive Led unit or not. If he doesn't I will be trying for a home birth again, I refuse to have a medical laden birth UNLESS my pregnancy dictates it. At the moment I have had two bad luck births, nothing which is going to definately recur. The SOM from last pregnancy has asked me to try again with the Home Birth team which failed to support me last time. I agreed, but to be honest, their issue was 'big baby' and I am bound to have another big 'un so I honestly worry about their ability to support me this time. But I am trying to be positive and see what happens this time around.

I have rung a couple of numbers on Doula UK and will be talking to them later on but I really wanted some personal recommendation. I need a doula to be strong enough to make things bearable if we end up in hospital again and able to hold off consultants if necessary.

I know that due to my back ground I am not an ideal client

I don't have any recommendations but I wanted to say congratulations on the new pregnancy! I hope it goes well, three children is fab.

IMO you don't have two 'failed' births! It's not an exam, there is nothing to pass, you did your best, whether your medical/midwifery team failed you is another matter, but you haven't failed in anything.

I hope this third birth will give you a better experience, and I hope you find a good doula. I don't know if any doula will 'hold off consultants' though!

belgo, Thanks

Emotional I came out of the second one ok, thanks mostly to my DH and doula, but my confidence has been rocked and for I do feel a failure, in the second case what happened was unavoidable but that doesn't stop me feeling this way.

'holding off the consultant' was more in order to avoid the unactive, with drip, constant monitoring attempt at birth that he wants me to have...of course if anything changes during labour, I would be begging for a consultants attendance. I just want the chance to TRY to have a birth this time and if I fail again so be it.

Pleas please please stop thinking in terms of failure. You are not a failure, and whatever happens in this third birth you still will not have failed. You have been through two very hard births, harder then most of us. I think you are very brave to still be determined to go for the birth that you want to have.

To be fair it is the babies/children I want to have not, not the pregnancy and birth bit. But it seems I can't have one without the other quite unfair (joke)

Anyway however bad the birth attempts I have had, there is always people far worse off than me, in some ways I have been very lucky, just not in hospitals.

bump for the evening crowd

Is lulumama a doula? She's in or near Southport I think. I know it's not that close but she may know someone.

Well, I have took the plunge and arrange to meet a lovely doula next week. She sounds so lovely on the phone

lulumama is definately a doula and very supportive of my moaning here, in my last pregnancy. Sadly a distance from me mind.

I was going to say contact Lulumama too

She helped me find a doula in the Blackpool area nearly 3 years ago now (is it really that long ), as unfortunately she was just a little too far away from me...

Are you still looking as I can recommend a doula based in Bolton.

i know a doula near you, but you might have already contacted her or she might be the one you mean.. A S-w?
and thatnks for the namechecks !! betsey - is it 3 years ??!?!?

just seen this thread is from ages ago ! LOL oh well....