recovery after 3rd degree tear

[mummyofthomas]

Hi sorry I have posted quite a few messages about this subject. Basically have any of you ladies out there had a third degree tear and what was your healing time like - any long term symptoms? I had a 3rd degree tear 16 months ago now and sex/walking/standing/sitting too long = painful but have no problems with bowels/bladder except sometimes painful to go and I bleed quite often(tmi). Am due to see a consultant tomorrow (am 32 wks with number 2)and need to know if what I'm experiencing is 'normal recovery'. My midwife seems to think not and that someone should look at me.A cs has been mentioned though not sure how i feel about anything at the mo. So how have you all recovered- am I just being a whimp?

I had a third degree tear, and cervical tearing, and I would say I was really really suffering for three months, in distinct pain/discomfort for another six months, and from then on have had occasional discomfort (which sounds similar, although probably a shade less bad, to your situation).

TMI coming up....

In terms of things you're suffering now, I have:

sex - not painful, except very occasionally (although I am far from intrepid in this area, still getting used to it after so long without while recovering!)
walking/standing - not too bad, again occasional discomfort where it feels like my scar tissue is a bit draggy and achey. I walk a lot.
sitting too long - I sometimes have discomfort if I've sat for ages, but it goes when I've been on my feet for a few minutes
bladder - no probs
bowel - got piles/possible small fissure while delivering, so often bleed too.

I will definitely have a CS next time (had it written on my notes at 6 week check after giving birth to DS), for the following reasons:

• I felt that the care expectation was, 'you've had a normal vaginal delivery. you should be up and about now'. Midwives were very nice, but, wouldn't come and get my baby out of the basinet for me to feed him after the first 24 hours, told me it was getting 'a bit pathetic' that I couldn't walk across the ward with him in his basinet to change his nappy after 24 hours. I want people to KNOW I've been through the mill and care for me appropriately (I was on ward with post-CS ladies, and care was VERY different for them)
• I wasn't traumatised by the birth, but was completely overwhelmed/traumatised/horrified by the lack of aftercare I received and the length of time it took me to recover (was told I would be fine within weeks), and have what might almost be post traumatic stress from the whole episode. If I didn't get a CS, I wouldn't have another baby (I stress, this has nothing to do with labour and birth, but the whole aftermath)
• I didn't get to feed/bond/hold DS for nearly 2 hours after giving birth due to being in theatre. Again, with a CS I'll be able to plan for all of this.
• I feel my tear was largely due to being told when to push (after stating v clearly that I didn't want to be), and I'm not confident that I would be able to ignore such instruction a second time if it happened again, so would quite possibly tear again for exactly the same reason as the first time. Which would be a shame!

Sorry, a bit epic.

Hi mummyofthomas, I had a 3rd degree tear 24 months sgo after delivery of DS2. I was fully recovered within 3 months and have no pain at all during sex, or walking, standing sitting etc. Sex was painful for about 6-9 months but I think that was more due to my worry of it being painful and clenching up rather than pain itself. I think if you are still suffering these symptoms 16 months on then that is definitely not normal recovery and you are definitely not being a wimp. I was told that if I ever got pregnant with DC3 then I would automatically be referred for a CS as they wouldn't want to risk another tear as bad as the one I had suffered. HTH it was awful at the time and I was sure I was never going to feel the same again but everything is back to normal.

another one who had a third degree tear. I'd say it took me at least 6 months to get back to a 'normal' way of life after the trauma (it was wose than the actual birth IME) and I don't have any probs with bladder or bowels but sex was a problem but after a year and experimenting with new positions (and probably DTD a bit more!) things have improved and I have no discomfort now. Sitting and standing I'm fine.

Agree with your MW, get yourself checked and see if there's maybe some scar tissue that they left behind after sewing you up last time. It is probably fixable. Good luck and let us know how you get on. I'm panicking a bit about second baby now- it's the fear of tearing like last time..

Had no idea you could elect for CS after the trauma of a third degree tear - that's something I may bring up at my appointment next week Hopefully

The lack of aftercare of 3rd degree tears is something I could get very angry and upset over.

Interesting to see that ome others have had aftercare problems. There does very much seem to be the opinion that if you have a 'natural' delivery, you should be fine.

I was given the painkillers (only normal paracetamol, don't know if there's anything else you can take) and antibiotics, but other than the midwives generally just tried to jolly me out of my third degree tear. Should have asked them how jolly they'd feel after having their insides and outsides ripped in two...

Hopefully it's sh*t isn't it. Midwives don't have a lot of compassion and times and I also sensed after my tear that they had no empathy whatsoever as to the kind of extreme pain I was in. I'd nearly had my arse ripped and they couldn't give a toss, jollying the situation made me feel even more depressed I have to say. Made me realise that third degree tears obviously are not something they encounter very often. Even nearly 3 years on, and I'm still bitter about it even though I'm more or less healed.

I want to add my story and hope it doesn't upset those of you who are suffering.

I had a third degree tear with DS1 in 2003. I had no problems at all afterwards. I didn't even have painful stitches.

I'm sharing this so you know it should not be as bad as you are experiencing.

I have since had DS2 and had a second degree tear with him

HI again, thank you all so much for your messages they are very encouraging for me both to know that some people do recover ok and that im not being a whimp had consultant appointment today saw a lovely one this time who didn't rush me, answered all my questions and had a good look at me,needless to say she was female this time and not the male consultant I had last time who gave me 2 mins, didn't answer any questions and generally made me feel like I was wasting his precious time . Anyways the upshot of it is that she would recommend going for a normal delivery again,all has healed well and pain is down to 'nerve entrapment' after being stitched up the last time- so if they do need to repair this time they will address this problem(or in future if I don't tear). Was just so nice to hear that there really is a reason for my pain and that hopefully ultimately it can be put right. She also recommended going straight for an epidural this time because of the pain I'm already suffering 'down there'. Sorry for the essay thanks again for all your response.

So glad you had a good consultant MoT and that there is a real and justifiable reason for your discomfort!

Good luck for your recovery from next birth!

oh wow glad i found this thread ladies. I gave birth 2 weeks ago and suffered a 'small' 3rd degree. I couldn't' fault the care given by the staff a the hospital immediately after BUT i was given no expectation of recovery time after. its only been two weeks but i.'m still bleeding fresh blood and feeding at night is impossible without feeling like i'm aggravating and pulling at the tear. it feels like it will never have the chance to recover. i was thinking it would be weeks not months but am grateful for more realistic expectations from those of you that have been through it. will just keep up the ice cube and paracetemol treatment.

I had a 3b tear 4.5 weeks ago and I was really shocked at how painful it was and how tired and achey I felt afterwards. It is only over the past few days that I have felt more normal and am able to walk and get on with everyday life with more ease.

Witch hazel on sanitary towels helped me, as did frozen peas in the area at night time and 2 lavender or salt baths a day. I do my pelvic floor exercises in the bath so I remember to do them. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Hello from a mummy of another Thomas! In fact the one who shot out in 7 mins second stage weighing 9lb4oz resulting in my 3rd degree tear!

Just to say you are in no way being a wimp. I can honestly say I had no problems at all with mine even straight after the birth it was less sore than the episiotomy I had with dd was. No probs with anything. I think mine was "only just" 3rd degree tho, and I was stitched up by the PCTs top consultant so maybe he just did a great job.

You really need to get it looked at.