DC2 on the way and scared because of last time...

[BedtimeBear]

I'm sorry if I am starting a thread which has already been covered... I'm just desperate to get this off my chest and hopefully get some advice/ressurance

My DS's birth 3 years ago was not brilliant. Induced at 10 days overdue, after being booked in once and sent home to come back the next day as they were too busy Reasonable length labour (14 hours) with epidural. 3 hours of pushing and DS stuck, so prepped for EMCS. Ended up with episiotomy, forceps and loads of stitches. 5 days later PPH (possibly due to retained placenta),HB level of 7 and another 3 day stay in hopital without DS.

The upshot of all of this was that I didn't bond well with DS, didn't breastfeed and took around 6 months to recover (physically-not sure I have yet mentally).

I am currently 26 weeks with DC2, and have been offered an ELCS. I am 95% sure I'm going to take this route..but I'm not really getting much support/guidance from MW or DP (he just keeps implying that it's my decision). I'm also TERRIFIED of another PPH. I don't feel like I can enjoy this pregnancy as I'm focussing on what could go wrong again and quite often feel down and weepy.

Not sure really what I'm asking for here... maybe just some words of comfort or a response from someone in a similar situation?!

Only been through child birth once and it wasn't good either and I didn't feel I got much support from doctors/midwives before hand(not ruling out another tho!), BUT all my friends/family who have had more than one child say each experience is different.

Don't know what a PPH is sorry.

DS1's birth was quite similar to yours. Induced, failed ventouse, forceps, episiotomy, tearing etc. Ended up in hospital for a week, and took a long time to recover.
No PPH though I did loose lots of blood and ended up having a transfusion.

2 years later, with DS2 I was also terrifed, especially as I was late with him too. However everything went text-book. Went into labour naturally, quite quick too, no stitches needed and was out the same day.

Please don't panic. Every birth is different. (I'm expecting number 3 anytime now, and am hoping birth will be similar to 2nd time)

As Cheeky says, you have been through it once and survived!

sorry CheekyCheeks- Post Partum Haemmorage (sp?)

Sockmonkey- that's reassuring! Glad to hear that your 2nd birth was a good experience. Fingers crossed for your no. 3!

Ohh I could have written your post!! about the fear I had a bad birth, went into labour early (bout a week early) labour went on for what felt like forever, then at the end preped for a section, then ended up with a spinal in theatre and failed ventose, forceps delivery and episiotomy... I've been offered a ECS but I keep swaying I have my first discussion with my MW this Friday morning after consults appoint at 16 weeks (now 23 weeks).

So many pros with a ECS planned, calm, quicker recovery than an EMCS but it is major stomach surgery! and with a toddler to look after its ????? I'm in the same place decision wise so will watch this thread with great interest!

Had very similar delivery to you with DS - Induced - epidural - slow to progress - prepped for EMCS (spinal block/lots of surgeons) - Failed ventouse - episiotomy and then finally delivered with forceps. No PPH though. Could not have sex without any pain until at least 9-10 mths later (I assume due to the bodge-job done on my stitches) so was also quite concerned about the delivery of my 2nd baby...

DD was born within 3 hours of realising I was in labour, G&A and TENS machine got me through, no episiotomy or any other intervention required, although I did have a 2nd degree tear which required stitches. I felt fantastic (well, within reason!) immediately following her birth and recovered much quicker. She's now 3 months old, and although any bedroom action is still few and far between, it certainly doesn't hurt this time around. (I love the person who did my stitches this time!)

If you would be more comfortable going for a section then go for it, but don't think that just because you had a horrible time first time around that it will be the same this time. Good luck.

I had this on my second birth. Am currently pg with DC3 so dreading it. Had everything you described OP, except PPH. Have a consultant's appt in Feb so will wait and see what they say.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm surprised to hear that my experience seems to be relatively common! It's nice to hear encouraging things about 2nd births.
Butterscotch, my consultant appointment is not until 34 weeks, and if I elect a CS it will be done around 39 weeks.. that seems far too close together for my liking PLUS- my appt. is only 20 mins long! Am slightly baffled as to how people are expected to make a decision like that within 20 mins!
Does anyone know how you go about getting copies of your hospital notes? My MW has advised that I take them with me to go through with the consultant (if I have time!!) but I'm not sure who to call to get copies?

Every hospital has a PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) although they are increasingly being called Patient Experience Departments. Speak to them, they will tell you how to get a copy of your notes. However, there is often a charge for copying (can be up to £50). If your second birth will be at the same hospital, staff can get access to your previous notes anyway.

I went to my consultant at 16 weeks because I had a SUV previous pregnancy and it was to rule out the same thing (the mw didn't know if it was heirdarary (SP)) and I'd discussed with her at my booking in about last birth got a bit upset about it all....that and about issues with not being able to bf (not related to the birth!)

So I took my normal notes with me he did the checks he had my previous notes there I think my appoint was very short maybe 10mins included all the stuff from normal 16 week appointment urine test/bp etc.....

did a quick scan to check for SUV then was told to come back at 36 weeks with my decision re section......I'm guessing I'd be booked in for it 39 weeks maybe 38 as DD was a week early?

However at my 20 week scan baby was breach so it might well be that the decision is taken out of my hands (that would be welcome in a way) i know there is ECV's etc... but i don't know that I could be bothered with that if baby is still breach then it kinda of says to be c-section.....

I considered hyno birth and borrowed the cd and book of a friend the cd annoys me no end I had to turn it off so I can't see that helping

25 weeks with DC2. Very similar birth experience to you. Gonna have elcs. I know this is the best thing for my mental wellbeing... Prefer risks associated with CS to VB. Yes I do sometimes feel as if I am failing as a woman, but I am being honest to myself, cos I matter too.
What matters is mummy and baby surviving... physically and mentally. Giving birth is not a 'pissing contest'.

Stinkypinky- fab attitude! glad you've made a positive decision. Hope all goes well for you

BedtimeBear - I feel 4 u...i have been in a similar situation. Had DS 5 yrs ago, got induced at 41wks terrible labour, pethidine, epidural, fully dilated only 2 b rushed off 2 theatre 4 emcs...absolutely terrified!! Woz in agony afterwards, v weepy, felt like a failure!! Ended up being blue lighted 2 hospital 2 wks l8r, heavy bleeding caused by retained products, needed an evac so had 2 stay in hospital! Slow physical recovery and even slower emotional recovery led 2 difficulty in bonding!!

Have just had DD on 22nd of Dec by elctive section...a decision which i woz not 100% sure about (even on way 2 hospital that morning) much different birth experience and much much better recovery!! Dont get me wrong i woz petrified on way 2 theatre etc but defo made rite choice!!

Suppose wot i am trying 2 say is no 2 births r the same and even a bad experience 1st tme around does not mean the same next time!!

Good luck wotever u decide xx

Stinkypinky thats part of my thoughts mental well being!!!!

congratulations Drama! glad to hear everything went ok this time.
Maxpower, I have written to my hosp to see what the deal is with notes, thank you.
Butterscotch, I think I have been underestimating mental wellbeing and concentating on the physical stuff.. maybe that's a good angle to come at it from. I mean, if I had to be induced again I would be absolutely no good to anyone with the panic/flashbacks etc.

I had a similar situation.....DS1 2 weeks late, HORRIBLE 3 day back to back labour, followed by ventouse, loads of stitches and unable to sit down for 8 weeks afterwards due to infections.....decided to "be brave" and do another "natural birth"....this time got the epidural before I felt any pain at all, BUT then (after relatively easy birth) had retained placenta, manual removal under spinal block in theatre (horrible - like being an extra in all creatures great and small), lost loads of blood (count was at 7.0) and got infection...needed another D&C at 3 months to remove rest of placenta (following another PPH - this time ambulances involved in the middle of the night). All in all, both births were pretty awful, though "natural"....this time round I am taking no chances - booked in for c-section at 39 weeks....I don't give a toss what anyone else thinks - I just want to go in there, get baby out quickly and safely, make sure placenta is clear, get sewn up, and get on with life. Sure, its abdominal surgery, but seeing as my recovery time for my last 2 births were around 3 - 4 months, who cares?....at least I can arrange help, and mentally prepare myself for the experience!!!

Bedtimebear I've just got back from my midwife appointment and had a long discussion with her about fears etc.... she said she wouldn't normally advocate a c-section but if I don't feel that I can do a natural birth then I should do what is right for me!

I've got shit going on at work (poss being made redundant/touped to another company whilst on mat leave) so thats not helping me either! Baby is still breach part of me thinks if baby stays that way it takes the decision out of my hands iykwim?

Lumpasmelly sounds like you've had a horrid time in your experience 3rd would defo be a section for me! Hope it goes well for you x

This is my first post on Mumsnet. I am 22 weeks pregnant with second DS and I am very scared. It seems no one has time to talk to a second-time mum and I'm feeling very depressed. First birth was two and a half years ago,very similar story to yours BedtimeBear. Was booked in for induction but waters broke as I was waiting to be induced, 15 1/2 hours of labour, epidural, endless pushing and then into the operating theatre for poss EMCS. Luckily, after episiotomy and forceps, I had my 9lb 12oz DS and avoided the EMCS. I also had a third degree tear and blood transfusion. Still don't know why I lost so much blood. Recovery was ok physically (except for the piles! OUCH!) but mentally I am panicking now that I know it's another boy and will probably be large as well. I have been referred by my midwife for an OB consult at about 36 weeks, but not sure how that will go. I'm just so scared I'll go through labour and pushing to then end up with an EMCS anyway. I'm wondering if a planned CS is the way to go due to my panic?! I don't know if I'll be strong enough mentally to go through labour again. I feel stupid and weak saying that, but it's the truth.