Very long thread sorry.....any advice ???

[happyfaceschildcare]

Hello, I'm just after some advice really from all you wise mumsnetters out there, my story goes....
my dd was a diagnosed breech, however I went into labour at 36 weeks, and the doctor told me to deliver her naturally not by c section as she was only little and her lungs were not fully developed and the c section would cause extra problems, being quite young myself and her being my first I went with what the doctors said and suffered major problems, she became stuck in the birth canal for an hour and was starved off oxygen for 9 and a half minutes, needless to say she was dead when she was born, they managed to resusitate her and she was on life support at a mere 4lb 11 she looked so helpless, I was told she would not survive, but miricles do happen because she did, I was then told because of she had been starved of oxygen for so long she would definitely suffer some form of brain damage,she was in special care for a very long time and well to cut a very long story short, I now have an extremely healthy 9 year old girl, she overcame pretty much all her problems, she is deaf in one ear and has learning difficulties but considering what she went through she has copes amazingly well and I am a very very lucky mum. Sorry this thread is very long but to continue.... my birth made it very difficult for me to concieve again and I've always been very nervous about having another baby, but anyway I am now 33 weeks pregnant, I have been told given my previous history I can have an elective c section if I wish, however I have no medical reasons this time round i.e. the baby is in the right position, my placenta is low but not in the way, last week I had a little scare, started having mild contractions, nothing ever came of them thankfully, babies heart rate was through the roof at 200bpm but then stablised, so was sent home from hospital, but I am just so worried and anxious that I'm gonna have this one early too and can't stop thinking about everything that went wrong the last time and I'm not sure if I can go through that again so should I just have a section.
I guess as everything is ok with baby this time round I should have a natural birth, and the recovery time of a c section with 2 children is not appealing either, it's a very hard decision to make because I don't know if I am emotionally strong enough to deal with another natural birth ? or am I just being a wimp ! if I went into early labour again I'd probably just go with it as everything is ok, and this hospital are really on top of things and I'm sure they would intervine if things got nasty, but I don't think I could cope with getting to my due date and not having the baby yet, I would be so nervous and anxious, I just don't know, I'm making myself quite ill worrying about it and I know that's not good for me or baby either, maybe I should asked to be induced instead if I haven't had the baby by my due date ? I know nobody else can make the decision for me but other opinions and stories would really help.
Thank you so much x

[putting into paras/sentences so easier for others to read,congrats on pregnancy by the way]

Hello, I'm just after some advice really from all you wise mumsnetters out there, my story goes....
my dd was a diagnosed breech, however I went into labour at 36 weeks, and the doctor told me to deliver her naturally not by c section as she was only little and her lungs were not fully developed and the c section would cause extra problems.

Being quite young myself and her being my first I went with what the doctors said and suffered major problems, she became stuck in the birth canal for an hour and was starved off oxygen for 9 and a half minutes, needless to say she was dead when she was born.

They managed to resusitate her and she was on life support at a mere 4lb 11 she looked so helpless, I was told she would not survive, but miricles do happen because she did, I was then told because of she had been starved of oxygen for so long she would definitely suffer some form of brain damage,she was in special care for a very long time.

Well to cut a very long story short, I now have an extremely healthy 9 year old girl, she overcame pretty much all her problems, she is deaf in one ear and has learning difficulties but considering what she went through she has copes amazingly well and I am a very very lucky mum.

Sorry this thread is very long but to continue.... my birth made it very difficult for me to concieve again and I've always been very nervous about having another baby, but anyway I am now 33 weeks pregnant.

I have been told given my previous history I can have an elective c section if I wish, however I have no medical reasons this time round i.e. the baby is in the right position, my placenta is low but not in the way.

Last week I had a little scare, started having mild contractions, nothing ever came of them thankfully, babies heart rate was through the roof at 200bpm but then stablised, so was sent home from hospital, but I am just so worried and anxious that I'm gonna have this one early too and can't stop thinking about everything that went wrong the last time and I'm not sure if I can go through that again so should I just have a section.

I guess as everything is ok with baby this time round I should have a natural birth, and the recovery time of a c section with 2 children is not appealing either, it's a very hard decision to make because I don't know if I am emotionally strong enough to deal with another natural birth ? or am I just being a wimp !

If I went into early labour again I'd probably just go with it as everything is ok, and this hospital are really on top of things and I'm sure they would intervine if things got nasty, but I don't think I could cope with getting to my due date and not having the baby yet, I would be so nervous and anxious, I just don't know.

I'm making myself quite ill worrying about it and I know that's not good for me or baby either, maybe I should asked to be induced instead if I haven't had the baby by my due date ? I know nobody else can make the decision for me but other opinions and stories would really help.
Thank you so much x

Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy!

What a horrific time you had first time around you poor thing - no wonder you are petrified. Glad to hear your daughter is so well but really understandable that the whole experience has left you with some deep rooted anxiety.

I'm no medical peep so hopefully someone more wise will be along to reassure you in a minute but my only advice would be to have an in depth chat with your midwife and go through each scenario. You've already written down ^ the different things that are worrying you, so come up with a plan of action for each eventuality, ie - try for a natural birth if you are between 36 and 39 weeks with a c-section option if you start feeling you want it. If you go past 39 weeks have a booked section date or induction date. Ask about what type of monitoring you and the baby will be given throughout the labour - basically whatever you think might put your mind at ease a little (and i'm aware you will never be fully at ease until you have your little healthy baby in your arms - and you WILL!)

Really good luck to you.

Totally agree LaaDeDa. you had an extremely traumatic time (and congratulations for bringing up a DD who sounds wonderful) and I honestly don't think that most 'I did this first time and then that second time' histories would do as much to reassure you as good advice from a professional MW and indeed consultant (I presume you have probably seen one given history and recent events. LaaDeDa's list of plans also sounds very sensible to me as a basis for discussion.

cat, I really think you could benefit from talking to someone sooner rather than later, It sounds like you had an awful awful time.

sheila kitzinger

or

birth trauma

Also, have you considered a Doula? She might be able to have some chats with you and help someway towards getting you into a positive frame of mind for this birth. Might be worth thinking about.

I hope things turn out well for you, remember these things are not everyday occurances so the chances of anything bad happening again are not necessarily automatically high.

I wish you the very best of luck. x