Please tell me about homebirths.

[Horsiemummy]

Hi all,

my midwife is really keen on me having a homebirth for DC2 and i kind of like the idea but.....

1. im not scared of hospitals - being a nurse the equipment or the monitoring is not an issue for me.

1. im i very private person and hate the idea of the neighbours knowing. or MIL "popping in"

1. we are a good 30 mins from the nearest hospital - is it really safe? (previous birth was normal with G & A)

1. im worried about my ds seeing me in labour but would it be right to ask someone else to have him if i have a home birth?

im just not the earth mother type at all but the idea of being in my own surroundings and away from hospital bugs really does appeal.

any thoughts / experience good or bad is much appreciated.

i would much prefer to have a home birth as you will have constant care by 2 midwifes where as at hospital you will have midwife popping in every now and then as she could be looking after 2 or more other labouring mothers,

you still get g and a too

Hi there, I had a homebirth with DS3 and I loved it. Would definitely recommend it. I felt so much more in control and felt that I bonded with DS3 better because I was comfortable and in my own environment.

It wasn't all plain sailing - the midwife only arrived as his head came out and then I bled pretty heavily afterwards but I really felt empowered and that I could do it so I wasn't worried. I was able to go to sleep in my own bed afterwards (bliss!) and have a bath in my bathroom rather than the hospital showers/bath.

I would definitely advise asking someone to take your other DC. For me, I knew DS1 and 2 were being looked after by someone that I really trusted so it enabled me to concentrate on DS3's birth.

Good luck with whatever you decide and maybe you should look up your local NCT. I went along to a couple of NCT homebirth groups where you meet others about to give birth and thinking about homebirths and also women who did have a homebirth who are happy to answer questions. It was really helpful.

I has an uncomplicated birth with my first daughter and would prob have been ideal candidate for home birth.
However shortly after birth of my second daughter i began to haemmorage badly, losing over a litre of blood in no time.
To deal with the situation took three midwives and a consultant doctor- a drip in one arm, a jab in the other leg and a load of stitches. Dread to think what would have happened at home. IMO it's not worth the risk- you can be home only hours after the birth anyway.

"1. im not scared of hospitals - being a nurse the equipment or the monitoring is not an issue for me."

Your midwife will have equipment with her for a homebirth. She will monitor your baby's heart beat with a sonicaid. Giving birth is a natural event rather than a medical proceedure. Its much nicer being monitored by a human being than a machine.

"2. im i very private person and hate the idea of the neighbours knowing. or MIL "popping in"

A homebirth is an intensely private affair. You do not have strange staff you don't know popping in and out. You are in your own space.

"3. we are a good 30 mins from the nearest hospital - is it really safe? (previous birth was normal with G & A)"

An ambulance driver can get you to a hospital surprisingly fast.

"4. im worried about my ds seeing me in labour but would it be right to ask someone else to have him if i have a home birth?"

Of course it is. You will need someone to look after your ds whereever you give birth. If there was an emergency that required transfer to hospital you don't want to be faffing about finding a baby sitter.

"im just not the earth mother type at all but the idea of being in my own surroundings and away from hospital bugs really does appeal.

any thoughts / experience good or bad is much appreciated."

A homebirth is not for everyone. If you think you would like a homebirth I suggest you book one early in pregnancy. Its very easy to change your mind from a homebirth to a hospital birth, but much harder the other way round.

thanks so much for your input - im am devouring the home birth website! lol.

please keep the advice coming.

i have decided on a homebirth for DC3. basically because i can't be bothered with the faff of going to hospital and being ignored by midwives looking after other women and then the chaos of having 3 people arrive in the room to catch the baby after husband having to run down corridor to get them because they ignored the buzzer for 15mins.
i am going to be in my house have the undivided attention of 1 midwife for the majority of my labour and 2 at the birth. get washed in my own bath and snuggle up in my own bed with my new baby.

I heamorraged with DC1 1.25 litres and didn't with DC2. Midwife has assured me she will have fluids with her so if it happens she can do something about it while waiting for the ambulance.

i am confident having one midwife with me at all times will mean if i need a transfer to hospital she will pick it up in plenty of time and we will get there. i was left for 6 hours in established labour with DC2 without any medical professional crossing the door in my opinion relying on my husband to decide if i needed any assistance is bad practice.

It also takes 20 mins to prep theatre so by the time i was being wheeled out of the ambulance i would scoot straiht into theatre cos they wouold know i was coming.

Not that, that is likely as i have had 2 straight forward births with no pain releif.

i am so looking forward to my homebirth,but i have an open mind this is childbirth by it's nature not an exact science so you have to with the flow and see what happens.

good luck with your decision.

Raindrop

I have had 3 homebirths, and could go on about them until the cows come home, but (for your sake!) won't. All of them were fantastic experiences with highly individual care (3 m/w for first birth, 2 m/w for 2nd and 3rd births). Lovely lovely to be able to have a bath before the birth (and after!), walk around, do what I wanted, and sleep in my own bed with my dh there the whole time. Midwives also pretty happy and relaxed.
Re: privacy. I would have a conversation with MIL (or get your partner to) when it is near the time and just always have her call before she comes. Perhaps you can say that it is something you are feeling a bit anxious about, and would like to feel as relaxed as possible. I was also somewhat concerned about noise as we live in a thin walled modern terrace, but in the event I forgot about my concern and oddly enough our neighbours said they didn't hear anything at all the next day and were amazed that I had given birth.
Re: childcare. When I was having my 2nd, the m/w said that a very large proportion of women having their 2nd child have it at night, when they know that the first one is 'out of the way'. Lo and behold, that is exactly what happened! We had arranged that someone would have my eldest, but then she didn't even wake up during the birth (?!) so it wasn't necessary. With the 3rd, I did think about having the older girls there, but thought I wouldn't be able to relax enough because I would be worrying about how they were feeling. They went off with my MIL when I was in the early stages of labour, and then came back a hour or so after I gave birth, and that all worked very well. I felt I could concentrate solely on giving birth, which was great.
If you are up for it, I think they are great. Do ask if you have any other questions.

Very quickly I have had 2 homebirths for nos 2 and 3 and they were great. I have fast births so no thinking will I get there in time. Had 2 MWs with me for the whole labour who knew me and knew my history, knew my house and my family and the birth I wanted. No one will know you are actually in labour unless you tell them so no popping in.

All my daughters have been born at 4am in the morning, the last time the older two slept right through everything and I am not quiet, SIL was here downstairs to look after them if they got up or we had to go to hospital.

Last time it was very private, I laboured on my bed curled up on my pillows, MWs left tme to get on with it and they didn't even put the overhead lights on.

The best thing is straight after the birth, I got up had a shower and a wee in my own bathroom, MWS remade the bed and cleared up (no mess) then I got into my own bed with DP and DD3, heaven.

Homebirth isn't for everyone and if you don't want one don't feel you have to have one.

Horsie if you want to do it, go for it. If however, it is your mw rather than you that is keen, don't! I had an absolutely brilliant HB 4 weeks ago and would recommend it to anyone, but I do think one of the reasons I enjoyed mine so much was because I really wanted to stay at home, and truly believed I wasn't putting myself or my baby at any increased risk. (I also work in healthcare so have no fear of hospitals etc, just didn't want them involved in my birth unless it was necessary). I think if I had had doubts it would have been a different experience. (I kept a very open mind though and knew I could transfer once in labour if I wanted to).

Re: the neighbours - I really thought everyone in the street must have heard me when I had a slight strop in transition, but met my next-door (terrace) neighbour today, and they claim they heard nothing!?!! Though they also said thay hadn't heard the baby cry, so maybe they have hearing issues....

I think the best thing to do if you are considering it is read as much as you can, talk about the what ifs with your mw and, as others have suggested, try and talk to people locally who have done it/planned to do it as they will all have had different experiences, had to transfer during/after etc and you can think through how those situations would feel to you.

Good luck whatever you decide

1. im i very private person and hate the idea of the neighbours knowing. or MIL "popping in"

no one need know unless you run round the garden shrieking with each contraction.

1. we are a good 30 mins from the nearest hospital - is it really safe? (previous birth was normal with G & A)

I was also 30 mins from the hospital - I got there very quickly

1. im worried about my ds seeing me in labour but would it be right to ask someone else to have him if i have a home birth?

I thought I'd be fine with dd there but wasn't. I had a very strong feeling of not wanting her to see me, luckily the neighbours looked after her. I would definately arrange for someone to have your ds when you go into labour.

I have had both of my dc at home - the most recent being 4 months ago and both were wonderful, positive experiences where i felt very well looked after by experienced midwives (had the same one as the "main" midwife both times which was fantastic) and i would highly recommend it..
we had 2 different friends ready to take our ds the second time around but in the end the baby was so late my MIL came to stay and the day his little sister was born she just took ds out for the day til it was all over! I really thought i wouldn't be happy about her or ds being around but actually they were in the house til well over half way through my labour (watching cbeebies loudly and eating smarties ).
We do only live a mile from the hospital though and if i lived further out i might have felt less confident but if you have confidence in your midwife then i think that is key.
And i had a doula too which helped as i knew that if anything untoward happened when a mw wasn't around she was very likely to pick up on it as she was also v experienced.
All the best to you whatever you decide

I've had two wonderful, planned home waterbirths and am planning the next for May.
Can't recommend them enough.

With my 2nd I had asked the MW for a sweep at regular check that afternoon, so she'd put her glove on and told me I was 5cm! I drove home and DH collected DS from nursery and I cooked his tea, aware of a few twinges but nothing major happened until my best friend (who was 'on babysitting call') had taken DS upstairs for his bath, in the time it took DH to get pyjamas and nappy out ready and come back downstairs I was leaning on the armchair saying 'I think they mean it now!' DD was born 1.5hrs later, so I am impressed at my body's ability to get on quietly and step up a gear once the coast is clear.

DEFINATELY find someone to look after your child if you decided to go for a HB, and you're not happy having him there. I know I'm not, with my planned HB, although I will have people on call to collect him and see what happens - if I start to labour early evening then I will probably put him to bed and get on with it as I'm likely to be pretty fast, and once he's asleep you can lift him up by his ears and swing him round and he won't wake (I tried it).

horsie, that's great if your mw is supportive, but if you don't feel comfortable don't do it.
It's your birth, you do what you feel most comfortable with.