For those that gave birth in a hospital and weren't allowed home until they had fed ....

[Tillyscoutsmum]

I am 39 weeks pg with dc2.

When I had dd, the hospital didn't want to let me go home until they had seen me feed dd myself.

Unfortunately, she had a huge feed as soon as she was born (where the midwife latched her on for me) and then wasn't remotely interested in having a feed for almost 36 hours after that. She was just sleeping and didn't seem hungry. She was 9lb 12oz so I don't think anyone was concerned about her starving, but they did want to see me latch her on and get her to feed before they would allow me to go home.

I hated staying in hospital - it made me thoroughly miserable (particularly as it was a straightforward birth and they had already implied I would be going home the same day she was born).

So, after all the waffle, do you think it will be the same for a second child ? I'm hoping it was just because it was my first. Has anyone had the same ?

I suppose it depends on hospital policy - I had this with my first, and although I was watched for a feed I still stuggled for the next week at home with a sleepy jaundiced baby so it didn't achieve much.

With DS2 they just didn't pay any attention to me, but move forward 5 years to DS3 and they tested his blood sugar (he was big, they said they did this for all babies over 9lb I think) and as it was pretty low he was monitored for 24 hrs. This makes sense at least as there was potentially a problem. I'd ask the midwife in advance how they do things where you are so at least if you find out they'll do the same as last time you can make sure someone witnesses and documents that first feed this time.

Not sure I'd recommend this approach, but I just told a little fib!

DD had had one good feed, but they wanted her to have had two (she'd been born 12 hours earlier and had been a v long labour, so I wasn't surprised she preferred to sleep). I just counted a little quick feed she'd had as 'good' and said that I wanted to go. I told them they couldn't watch her feed again because she just had and wouldn't want to.

Also bear in mind that they can't force you to stay in. You can always discharge yourself.

For me personally, the help on the postnatal ward was non-existant. Every once in a while someone would wander past, grab my boob and stuff it at DD. I decided that, if I did have problems breastfeeding, I'd rather sort them out from home with someone more sensible.

As I said, not necessarily a recommended course of action...

that happened with my first too. for me she kept latching on when no one was around to watch! so she'd latch on, dh would dash off to find a midwife, by which time dd would have finished. grr!!

i had ds, my 2nd baby, two weeks ago. totally different. it was like 'oh is this your 2nd? do you want a 6 hour discharge?' we actually had to ask to stay a little longer so we could have dd come and see the new baby at visiting time!

Happened with my first too. DS had problems latching on and so wouldn't feed. I ended up staying in for 3 days whilst they got me to persevere and my son was fed by syringe whilst my requests for a breast pump were ignored. Finally managed to get a breast pump express and feed DS by bottle but not before he had lost more than 10% of his birthweight (which took him 3 weeks to get back). Will not be putting up with the same this time.

Chynah - they had me try and hand express colostrum as well - not a fun experience

Thanks to everyone else. I know the hospital are doing it for good reasons (to encourage bf'ing) but it just made the first couple of days with my dd really stressful and I didn't find random people coming round and shoving my boob in dd's mouth everyone so often very helpful either

I discharged myself too,as the care I had whilst in labour was non-existent and they had sent DH home as 'we don't allow men on the ward at night'!!Thanks a bunch!!
So wasn't prepared to hang about,so I said after my bath,'I'm off'& MW couldn't understand why I didn't want to stay.
DD2 slept solid for 24 hours after coming home,tried to BF her the next day,but she couldn't latch on,ended up driving back to the hospital to see the BF nurse,who said there wasn't a baby she couldn't get to feed.
She wasn't able to say that 2 hours after we left!!!DD2 ended up on breast milk in a bottle,which was a right faff!!

They wouldnt let me out either but i phoned the NCT breastfeeding counsellar who told them she was coming to my home,they let me out then.It was also much nicer having help at home with BF than random midwives ignoring/moaning /shoving my boob at dd3.

You can discharge yourself. if you want - they can't make you stay there. And I think they are generally less fussed with a second child, especially if they know you have a first child you need to get home to.

FWIW I don't think the hospital are necessarily doing to "encourage bfing" - but more to ensure that bfing is actually happening and going ok.

I don't want to scare you but a colleague at work was allowed to go home without having a feed observed. She thought her baby was doing ok and sleeping really well. He was actually not feeding effectively, and 4 days later he was admitted back to hospital with severe dehydration and hypoglycaemia. It was very scary for all concerned. I don't mean to say that anyone who self-discharges is irresponsible, but I just wanted to make the point that the hospital are not just being arsey, the policy is there for a good reason.

But if you've successfully breastfed before they may be more willing to trust your judgement.

As it is your second baby I do not relly see why they are not letting you go before they see you feed but I wish I had had the same fuss when DD1 was born. I had a very easy delivery and felt very well and strong. DD was sleeping all the time I was in hospital and did not feed. I spent 1 day and one night in hospital and was released without having the slightest idea how to feed her. It was really traumatic for the first couple of weeks as neither her nor me had a clue what to do. I was always told it would just come naturally but I fond it not natural at all. Had it not be for DH's support, I would have given up BF after a few days.

For my other 3 babies I was twice realised as soon as the pediatrician had examined the babies (born early in the morning an released at arround lunchtime) and once two hours after giving birth. They never asked me to show them I could feed either, but as I had already gone through it, they probably assumed (rightly this time) that I new what I was doing I suppose.

oh and fwiw, I had the same with DS1 (huge wait, he slept for 36 hours and didn't want to latch on for ages) but DS2 fed like a train right from the start.

So no, I don't think it's necessarily the same. I think I was better at bfing second time round and more confident about shoving it in his face every 5 mins, and he was a less sleepy baby anyway - plus the labour was easier which must have helped.

So chances are you'll be fine - good luck!

They were a bit twitchy discharging me with my first after less than 24 hours as BFing "wasn't established" (surely this takes more than a few feeds?!).

2nd and 3rd babies I was out within 4 hours but both times they'd latched on pretty quickly. They can't make you stay and the fact that you've BF before will surely stand you in good stead!

You can keep her skin to skin ie with you in a bra and she in a nappy at all times in hospital usually stops babies from going into long sleeps.

alternatively, and I am not promoting this but if you are confident that establishing feeds at home will be easier than in hospital, you can always embellish the truth.

I have had 2 friends do this because for one, the mws were threatening formula and she was confident that she could do it without their non-help when she got home and with the other the PN ward was so not the place she wanted to be.

Here, once they found out I already had 2 I hardly saw anyone for anything.

Barely saw a soul after DS3s birth and was simply asked if I was happy with the way he was latching, which I was, but as long as you were seen to be attempting to latch with quite a determined grimace on your face, you were allowed to go home.

SIL on the other hand couldn't get DN to feed (bottle) and after a day chucked the milk down the sink and told the MW DN had taken it so she could go home - DN went on to have feeding problems (reflux etc, slow weight gain and was very ill).

With dd1 they said this. I'd had a crap experience giving birth and wanted to go home. dd wouldn't latch on and they had no suggestions or advice for me, just kept saying "try again in 3 hours" . I eventually just told them I was FF (cos I couldn't see anyway I'd ever leave otherwise) and they said fine and let me go next morning.

With dd2 she wouldn't latch at first but I still came home after 6 hours (5 hours after placenta delivered and I'd had an epidural) BUT I had indepndent midwifery care so the hospital knew I could call on the IM if I needed to, which probably made a difference.

I had great trouble feeding DD in the hospital. She had bad Juandice and really didnt want to feed but I kept being told I had to feed her to get her better. Was so hard as i was really trying and felt like a failiure. In the Dr said she would become seriously ill if she didnt feed soon so we went down the formula route and slowly she improved. I was in for days whilst she got better thinking i would go as soon as DD got the all clear.

I had kept trying at each feed before the formula but she would only suck twice before crying as she wasnt getting it fast enough and was too tired to suck.
When DD got the all clear the Dr said we could go home (finally) I was so happy. Midwife then said no as she wasnt feeding properly dispite the formula. Various BF support people agreed that it just wasnt happening and it was just getting me more and more upset but she wouldnt have it. Said she would come and talk to me as i must be doing it wrong. ( despite all the help i had had)
Anyway after spending most of that day in tears and being ingored by the mw, DH said to pack my bags and went and told the moody MW we were going home. We discharged ourselves in the end. She didnt like it and said we would be back when DD lost too much weight- she didnt lose any!
And being at home, more relaxed continued tring but to no avail so ended up expressing for 6 weeks. DD is none the worse.

Im 17 weeks with DC2 and if they say no going home till im feeding again ( if it doesnt work out again) then we just say we will do formula and leave again.
I hated my postnatal ward experience

oh didnt meant it be quite such an essay!

Theyoungvisitor - on your comment:

"I don't want to scare you but a colleague at work was allowed to go home without having a feed observed. She thought her baby was doing ok and sleeping really well. He was actually not feeding effectively, and 4 days later he was admitted back to hospital with severe dehydration and hypoglycaemia. It was very scary for all concerned. I don't mean to say that anyone who self-discharges is irresponsible, but I just wanted to make the point that the hospital are not just being arsey, the policy is there for a good reason."

Did the midwifery team not visit her at home after discharge? One of the reasons I was confident to lie a bit is that I knew that a midwife from our team would visit me at home twice within 72 hours - once the day after discharge.I had ger observe a feed then...

I don't exactly know the ins and outs of it - but she didn't fib to be discharged, they were just very busy and let her go and I think she assumed that if they let her go, it was because everything was ok.

So she never raised it with the visiting midwife until it was absolutely critical.

Oh, that's so sad . Poor woman. I think in my case I knew that things weren't established (no problems as such, but how could they be established after 12 hours), so every time a midwife visited I had everything checked.

Confusedfirsttimemum, in my case, it was the hospital that discharged me without having observed a feed. Even though we did not need to go back to hospital, it was no less distressing. A midwife came home 2 days after I left hospital DD had lost a bit of weight by then but obviously not enough to be worrying as midwife said it was "normal weight loss". She was then most heplfull to show me how to BF correctly (unlike the MW in hospital)but it took quite a long time for me to get over it and be confident I was doing the right thing.

My friend wasn't "allowed" home by the MWs even though the paediatrician had released her (kidney problems with bubs). She said the MWs were vile and didn't actually offer any help with BFing just got more and more militant about her going home.

In the end she discharged herself and went home - they have no power to keep you in hospital.