Dads in birthing pool

[Fibilou]

Humph ! Just tried to post this but it wouldn't go so this is a very potted post !

Precis - booked in MLU with guaranteed WB facility. Hopefully will stay at MLU without need for transfer and I think I might want to deliver in the water. Hubs wants to get in the water with me - but I pointed out that water will not exactly be like a nice pleasant swimming pool due to blood/poo. Anyway will pack his trunks in case he still wants to get in (if MW lets him).

ANyway, wondering if anyone elses' partner had got in with them ?

I planned a water birth with DD1 - DH would rather have been boiled in oil than get into the pool with me

Each to their own.

Is he squeemish about things like that? He could always get in at the start. It may not be that gunky.

DH did with my second. But only during late first stage. He was out when it got, erm, messy.

It was useful to have him to lean on earlier on, and then it was good to have him able to support me from outside when I was pushing.

DC3 happened too fast, and I didn't really want him in the pool with me anyway. It became my own space. Which was lovely.

Be aware, that it is what you want on the day that is important.

My dp didn't want to. Before the birth I didn't think Iw ould mind if he came in. But it was very useful to have him out of the water, able to fetch me things, have dry hands for me etc. Also he physically supported me very well from outside the water. He had to wait a little longer to hold ds2 than he had done with the other two (land births), but once the baby was out of the water he had to be wrapped to keep him warm, so dh held him then until I was out of the water.

When you (and the baby) are pooing and bleeding into the water, you couldn't really care less. But it's different for somebody whose body is not completely taken over by being in labour. Also, I am tall and big, and dh is even taller. I don't think there would have been room for me to move freely had he been in the water with me. I would probably have chucked him out again!

eeeeeeew -

i had a water birth with dd - i would have clobbered anyone who tried to get in with me - i needed all the space to get comfortable and move around

also all the blood - don't think your DH would necessarily want to be covered in that

At the moment I'm not averse to the idea, think it would probably be quite nice to have someone lean up against/hold on to and would also make him feel more involved.

However if I react like I usually do to pain I won't want anyone within 2 feet of me !

I managed to hold DH pretty well over the side of the pool - great to have him right there at my head too to talk to me - no way I'd have wanted him in with me.

Does he think it's some kind of jacuzzi? No. no, no, no, no -- he needs to do what he's told and forget the idea that this is some sort of interactive show you're putting on for his entertainment. He has a supporting role, and what this support is is for you and the med staff to decide. I personally screamed at exH to get his terrible coffee breath out of my face during delivery . Lots of little things get very, very annoying during delivery. 'Togetherness' it ain't.

I had a home WB. I didn't want dh in the pool with me for labour. After she was born he stripped down to his boxers and climbed in to help me fish her out, as the water was not clear and I birthed her kneeling up so she shot out behind me somewhere. He's not squeamish and wasn't at all fussed. At that point I was grateful of the help. I got out pretty quickly because of the colour and he simply climed straight out again after she surfaced, so was only ever in just over his thighs.

If you look on youtube, lots of couples choose to be in the pool together. Not sure about birthing centre policies, I guess you'd have to ask?

I went on a tour of my midwife unit last week and they said that the man can get in if he wants to as long as he's not naked! Most of the men said they wouldn't want to but I suppose it's down to what you want at the time.

LOL at ruby's eeewwwwww - that was my first reaction too!

BTP, the midwife will be seeing enough unpleasantness looking at my fanjo, she certainly doesn't need to see hubs' family jewels as well

I think some men end up quite shocked at what really happens during childbirth.

One reason to have your DH keep his clothes on might be the possibility of needing to accompany you for any sort of emergency intervention if things start to develop in a way that would eliminate the possibility of the water birth. If the hosp has a choice about waiting for DH to find his clothes, dry off and get dressed or whip you off for an emergency c-s, they're going to take you away on your own.

I would also would have clobbered anyone who tried to get into the pool with me! DH was far better occupied in getting me ice cold towels every 2 mins . Also as I had to be transfered up to labour ward from the birthing centre due to dips in HB, it was better that he was dressed and could get bags etc, and to get my clothes and remind me that I might want to get dressed myself before leaving the room!!

That birthing pool was mine, all mine! I didn't want to be touched at all and would have decked dh if he'd tried to get in!

Let him pack his trunks and then just tell him at the time what you want him to do.