Elective Caesarean after difficult 1st delivery..advice please...

[peanut11]

First time posting on mumsnet so this has probs been asked before!

I had a difficult/traumatic labour with my 1st child (foetal distress) and after failed ventouse had to endure episiotomy and forceps delivery (baby was perfectly healthy so no complaints as it had to be done) it's just that I now feel extremely anxious about the birth of my 2nd child.

I'm only 12 weeks but have already mentioned it to midwife and consultant, both say it should be easier this time around.

I'm not convinced. My daughter was a big baby and as I am so petite it was a suprise she came out naturally at all. Knowing my own body I'm sure that this baby will also be a struggle. Any advice on how I can at least discuss the option of an elective caesarean without it being dismissed?

I know an ECS is not an easy option I just don't want to go through the trauma of a forceps delivery again!

hi peanut

I had a very similar birth with DD1, a horrendously long labour after induction, she was 10lb4 and I was a train wreck physically for months.

being anxious is absolutely understandable after everything you went through. When I had DD2 I convinced myself that my body would know what it was doing this time and it would be easier and after a horrendour long labour I ended up having an EMCS and was left in a worse physical state than I was in the first time. I utterly insisted that they were not to touch me with high forceps again and they didn't and even after reaching 10cm and doing everything possible she just wouldn't come out - she was >11lbs though which would have had something to do with it

DD3 was an elective even though I had decided to try for a VBAC and gave myself every opportunity to go for it circumstances took over and the decision was made for me.

however I read everything, I went to yoga, I visited an osteopath and changed my mental attitude towards the labour and had convinced myself I would manage. You have plenty of time to take a lot of advice over this and make an informed decision.

there are many on here who are more qualified to help you than me and give you more informed opinions/advice but please know you won't be forced into anything you don't want to do and nobody on here will judge you for any decision you make

the most important result at the end of the day is a happy healthy baby and mother - best of luck

one book that I read that was recommended to me by a doula on here was called Stand and Deliver and it really helped me have a better understanding of what was going on too

I discussed this with the registrar on my consultant's team (NHS hospital) for similar reasons on Friday. They will let you have it, but at my hospital, they make you go through 3 rounds of counselling with various obstetric professionals before they will agree to it . Basically, if you don't change your mind they will let you go ahead.

For me, it's not necessarily the best thing and I am waiting to see how I feel closer to the time. I have had 2 miscarriages, 3 ERPCs as a result and I need to decide if the trauma to my uterus is worth it given that I don't really want to have a period of time in which it's not a great idea )medically speaking) to get pregnant again.

Good luck whatever you decide.

not sure how the NHS deals with these requests anymore...my last baby was born 9 and a half years ago!
I did,however,have a very stressful birth first time round and eventually had to have a CS section...and I made them knock me out too!!!!.
Exactly 12 months later,I went in to have my 2nd baby (i was in labour but had already determined that i was going to have an elective CS).
Because he was early,I had to talk and talk and talk to everyone it seemed under the sun that I was determined to have a c.section...plus the fact I was determined to be knocked out again....don't think they do this anymore.
I was pleaded with by an anaesthestist to not be knocked out and to even try a natural birth...but I was absolutely determined and they eventually let me have what I wanted.
Exactly 12 months after that,I had a 3rd CS (elective this time)AND i was knocked out and no-one batted an eye-lid lol!!!
All i'm trying to say is.....stick to your guns!!!! LOL!

sorry...anaesthetist pleaded with me NOT to be knocked out lol!

Wow, thank you so much for all of your advice. I didn't think I'd get any replies!

Thesecondcoming - we have briefly discussed my notes from previous delivery. Basically baby was stuck and i'd been pushing for hours, she was 8lb7 which is nowhere near the size that some of you have mentioned (legs crossed thinking about it, ha). However being 5ft and 7st (prior to pregnancy) it came as a bit of a shock.

Can you believe my consultant asked me my shoe size last week and when I told him size 3 he laughed and said 'oh well that myth can't be true (about shoe size linked to width of pelvis), as you seemed to manage'. As you can imagine I didn't see the funny side!!

Hence this is why I feel they aren't taking my concerns seriously. If the next baby is any bigger I can't imagine it being any less traumatic!

Thanks again for the advice!

peanut11 I was fed up with that too, what height are you and what size are your feet nonsense - I'm 5ft6 and have size 8 feet but obviously the babies didn't realise that meant they should've been facing the right way and just slipped out

I felt more confident the more I learnt about the whole procedure - was very naive and uninformed the first 2 times and it helped me have decent conversations and make an informed decision - please take your time and ask as many questions as you can before making any decisions

I had elCS in May after traumatic 1st birth. It was a fantastic experience and recovery was much easier and quicker than the vaginal birth.

The way I got my elCS was by turning on the taps and crying buckets to all hospital staff who crossed my way on the run up to due date - midwife, consultant, ultrasound technician, and especially the maternity psychologist. It seems I scared them all badly enough that I was offered an elCS, especially once it became clear that second baby would be bigger than 4 kg DD.

Peanut: I am sorry to hear that you are having difficulty in finding someone who will respect your concerns, and unfortunately, this is a common problem for women trying to discuss the option of planning a caesarean delivery in the NHS.
There are many studies now that demonstrate very positive outcomes for mother and baby with a planned caesarean (compared with a trial of labour), and I would suggest that you bring examples of these to your next meeting. Both vaginal and caesarean deliveries have risks and benefits - you should be given a voice in choosing which set is more tolerable to you.
You might also be interested in this article by Dr Mark Porter in The Times on 2nd November - look at my comments at the bottom and his response to them. Evidently, there are some doctors in the NHS that will respect your request - you just need to try and find one in your area.

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/expert_advice/article6897399.ece

Good luck!