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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Anyone had a successful home birth after traumatic 1st hospital birth?

11 replies

TootaLaFruit · 10/11/2009 17:14

... or has anyone found a way of having a more successful (and controlled) hospital birth the second time around?

At the birth of my dd I basically felt like a bystander at the whole thing, had absolutely no control over anything and found the whole thing so traumatic I was shaking afterwards (stirrups, ventouse, episiotomy, a room full of people telling me I 'wasn't pushing properly') - I'm pregnant again and although I would love a relaxed, safe, lovely birth at home this time (or a more relaxed, less stressful/scary hosp birth) my last experience has left me feeling I couldn't do it by myself, and would need to have it in hospital. With all the docs who made me feel so inadequate. I know it doesn't quite make sense but I feel like I need them there.

How did you decide to have an at-home birth and did you have any worries?

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katechristie · 10/11/2009 17:34

DS was a fairly traumatic hosp birth - home birth had been planned until my bp went up slightly towards the end of my pregnancy. Waters broke normally at home, contractions a couple of hours later, got into hosp 5cm dilated, but he was back-to-back, they couldn't get a trace, so insisted on me being stuck on the bed to montior DS through my vagina (sorry, don't know the technical way to put that!) which of course delayed things and didn't give him much chance of turning either. Consultant insisted on epidural at 9.5cm, which then delayed things by another 4 hours, had to have a drip to kick start things and consultant wanted to do c-s but I pleaded so they tried ventouse, 3mins later he was out. I was fairly traumatised by it all after (of course, first baby I imagined I was going to breathe through the pain, need no drugs and it would all be relaxed and pleasant)!

2nd time around, my midwife booked me in for home delivery, I wasn't actually sure if I wanted that this time (felt exactly like you) but thought it wouldn't harm to go with it, then I could always change my mind and go in if I felt I needed it. 40+2 midwife told me the baby was OP again, but she was happy to still deliver at home. 2 days later contractions started, was 5cm when midwife arrived, progressed much quicker at home, was much more relaxed and felt more in control - was also prepared for the OP position meaning I'd feel the urge to push much sooner than I could actually push and understood what my body was doing, G&A was also my NBF! however, when my waters went, there was meconium in them, so I had to be transferred in at the last minute! DD arrived 30m after getting into hospital, it was really relaxed in the room, they had a couple of doctors on standby to check the baby over due to the mec, but they didn't interfere or even speak to me - the midwife just got me on the bed to check heartrate etc. when I said I needed to push she said go for it and really it was just me and DH that were invovled in the hospital bit. They whisked DD away to check after we'd both had cuddles, 2 mins later she was back with me feeding happily.

So in a way I had both home and hosp 2nd time around, and both worked really well. I think you'll be more prepared for it, you'll know more about what can happen and I'm sure it'll be much more positive, whatever you choose - good luck! - oh, ask your midwife to get hold of your hosp notes for the birth and go through them with you as a de-brief - that helped me greatly before the 2nd birth.

Grendle · 10/11/2009 18:08

Yes I had a fabulous home waterbirth with dc2 after a really traumatic induction/forceps/episiotomies/bad tear/epidural etc with dc1. I'm hoping for an equally fabulous second home waterbirth any day now with dc3.

I'd recommend Hypnobirthing as preparation.

OoerMissus · 10/11/2009 18:09

yes - with a doula - was wonderful

CatIsSleepy · 10/11/2009 18:11

yup
1st labour v long, ended up on hormone drip to speed things up, also 'wasn't pushing properly', ventouse delivery, manual removal of placenta-although it wasn't traumatic so much as unpleasant

2nd time lovely home birth! felt my body just what it was meant to do this time-totally different

TootaLaFruit · 10/11/2009 19:28

Thank you all for the replies - you've given me hope for the 2nd go!!

OP posts:
Moosy · 10/11/2009 19:48

Another yes from me - your 1st birth could've been mine, it was exactly the same. DD2 popped out easily at home with only a whiff of G&A for the pushing part and I'm hoping DD3 will do the same

thisisyesterday · 10/11/2009 19:54

yes, had an 18hr labour with ds1.
totally unprepared, couldn't deal with pain, hated gas and air so given pethidine too early, wore off, in agony, 2 epidurals administered, stuck on my back with a room full of people for ventouse delivery resulting in a 2nd degree tear. poor aftercare resulting in bad breastfeeding experience too

second ds was born in 6 hours at home with no pain relief whatsoever, in my experience the atmosphere made such a difference. the whole labour was so much calmer, nicer, more relaxed than ds1's. pain was manageable, i progressed much faster and i felt more at ease to do what i wanted and to listen to my body. was so lovely i got pg again quite quickly and hadmy second homebirth 5 months ago! 45 mins, no midwives got there in time lol

bear in mind that at home you'll have TWO midwives looking after you, the entire time, so if you're worried that you need the help of medical professionals then you'll have it. they'll be experienced and prepared for anything!

YouDoughnut · 10/11/2009 19:58

I planned a hb after 2 CS. In the end I had to transfer to hospital but I had been so clear about my birth plan and what I would and wouldn't 'allow' them to do to me, than I had a really positive experience (and finally a vaginal birth after 2CS). Best thing I ever did was to hire a doula. I really recommend that.

IBlameThePMT · 10/11/2009 20:07

Yes; hospital for DS1 , stirrups, baby heart beat monitoring via scalp, nothing happening when pushing, emergency forceps delivery.

DS2 was at home, easy peasy delivery, really quick too.

Good luck!

girlynut · 15/11/2009 17:34

Yes, easy second labour at home in pool.

Would also REALLY recommend hypnobirthing to help you to prepare. You can use it at home or at hospital. We went to some classes and I practiced at home with the CD. Totally worth the money!

I think learning the relaxation techniques definitely helped me have a much calmer labour. But the biggest benefit was feeling in control the whole time. We spent so much time picturing the perfect outcome - a successful home birth in the pool - that we simply didn't contemplate anything bad happening. So as a result I felt totally positive about the whole experience and didn't feel scared once. I wasn't even conscious of any real pain until I actually delivered the baby (yes, really!)

Good luck. I'm sure you'll make this birth a much more positive experience.

jujubean · 15/11/2009 19:27

I wasn't sure about HB 2nd time round but midwife said I could decide on the day, it felt good not 'planning' it because I'd been really down after my 'plan' for the 1st birth got thrown out the window cos of pre-eclampsia. I realised that where my baby was born wasn't something I could control and that fate would decide on the day - very freeing. In the end fate decide she would be born at home because it was so flipping quick my DH only just got home from work in time and there was no way I was in any fit state to get in a car and go to hospital. It was really lovely in the end, I had my regular midwife there, a lovely bath and a bit of pushing on the bed. Then big snuggles afterwards.

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