hospital or HB?

[nattiecake]

helloo

im not yet pregnant, currently ttc...

however i want to get a headstart on thinking about pregnancy and childbirth etc, as i like to be well prepared

question is, home birth or hospital birth? i like the sound of the cosiness of a home birth, but not the potential dangers, however i like the idea of the hospital being prepared, but not the potential of the "taking over" and dehumanising me, as i have read a lot in similar posts...

what would each of you recommend based on your experiences? and please include the horror stories too...

For your first choose the hospital, you have no idea how you or your body will cope/react.

A friend of mine recently had her first after a nice easy pregnancy and had an absolutely awful birth. Would hate to think how it would have gone if it was a home birth.

Don't expect too much from your birth, its unlikely you will be in the small minority who have a wonderful, life fulfilling experience. Chances are it'll hurt like hell, be quite frightening in places (even if things are going well) and be weirder than anything else you've ever done BUT it's more than worth it.

If you set your hopes on a tranquil, beautiful home birth/water birth/hyno birth you are more likely to be disappointed. Make plans of how you want it to be, but remember that it isn't something that always goes to plan.

Hope you get pg soon Xx

I have had a hospital and a mlu .
DS
On ds 1am waters broke cc started every 5 min so I had to be admitted I was left alone for 22 hrs of my labor. .After 221/2 hours I was given a 1/2 dose of pethadine while in transition as the mw was sure I was going to be days and didn't check my progress.

After 22hr 45min I begged the mw to come and check as I wanted to push she laughed at me and continued to drink her tea. I went and lied down 15 minutes later I went back and there had been a shift change I told them I couldn't stop pushing and that there was a large amount of blood she checked I was 10 cms.

We Went over to the other ward and there was people rushing in and out a big bright spotlight and I was then given gas and air I was constantly monitored and told how to sit and mw delivered my baby and held him while she checked him over even though he was crying. It sounds bad but it wasn't that bad and I came away happy I didn't realize how much better giving birth would be in a MLU>

DD MLU 10 hrs from regular cc gas and air only.
4 pm regular cc started I labored at home till midnight then went to MLU Mw asked whether I would like her to stay throughout my labor or whether I would like some peace and quiet I said I wanted to try and sleep.

She checked on me every 20 mins at 1pm mw gave me some gas and air the lights were dimmed everything was calm and quiet.

She came back in every 15 mins now at 1:40 she came in and I asked her to check me as I said I couldn't cope with the pain if it was going to be hours she said she didn't need to as I was in transition. 1:43 I said I needed to push I asked her to check if I was ok to push and she didn't check but stood there and talked me through how to know.

She said if I wait until I cannot stop my self pushing then I am fully dilated she talked to me calmly And she at one point got on her hands and knees to put the Doppler on to quickly check baby's heart rate.

AT 1:46 dd was born mw put her straight on my chest and checked him while he was on my chest then left me in peace and checked every 15 mins and said when me and dp were ready she would take me to my bed.

I personally would recommend a MLU for a first child as mine was attached to the hospital so I got the best of both worlds. Sorry they are so long but I wanted you to see fully the difference between both births.

I don't agree with pinkyponkjuice

I knew pretty much from getting pregnant that having my (first and only) baby at home was the right choice for me.

I didn't expect it to be tranquil but I did want to be comfortable and in control and for my birth to be non-medicalised, things which would be difficult in a hospital.

It was the best decision I've ever made and I wasn't disappointed at all.

20 hours of painful labour but 2 fantastic midwives, all the comforts of my home and DP never away from my side. 2 hours after dd was born the midwives left, leaving me and my new little family to start our new life together .

I chose a homebirth for my first knowing that hospital was a very short drive away from me.
Had to go to hospital, but was so glad I tried and spent most of labour at home.

Second in hospital and could not wait to leave the place, even though all staff were fab.

So for me, distance to a hospital, should the need arise, was the clincher.

Well done for your forward thinking and planning! Good luck.

Personally from my own experience I would suggest you use a midwife led unit in a hospital with a consultant unit available too if needed. I have just delivered DD#3 in an MLU after both previous DD being in a consultant unit at a different hospital. The difference in care was amazing - you get MUCH better care in the MLU!! If you find that things are not going according to plan then you still have all the interventions available really quickly and the option of an epidural if you transfer across too.
Of course this all depends how your local hospitals are set up - you may like to find out about facilities at the ones nearest you and pick which you would prefer to use before you go to your doctor once you are pregnant.
Good luck TTC

I don't agree with Pinkyponkjuice either. I think the more you find out about, worry about and expect dire things to happen, the more likely you are to end up with that type of experience.

My first was a homebirth and I went onto have three more!

You've got it wrong that hospital is safe and one only chooses a homebirth because it's 'nicer'. Homebirths are statistically safer than hospital births for uncomplicated births. The most common reason to transfer for a first baby is failure to progress - hardly an emergency! And most emergencies are easily sorted by an ambulance and doctors on standby at the maternity unit. It's really not as dangerous as it's perceived to be.

I really recommend you read the Nicky Wesson book and spend a few months perusing the home birth website - you should find all the answers you to any questions you have there

Flamingo -- I find it very hard to believe that homebirths are statistically safer than hospital births in uncomplicated pregnancies. I would venture to say that they are AS safe but not safer. However, I would find any research you have on this point very intersting....

I have come accross statistics that between 30-40% of first-time mothers delivering at home have to be transferred to hospital. This is compared to 17% of second and third time mothers. That's a number I would not feel comfortable with in my first pregnancy even if a few mumsnetters have had good experiences.

I second PinkyPonk's point on not building up birth to be all candles and roses. It's a miraculous experience but it rarely goes exactly to plan and I find that too many women beat themselves up when it doesn't go "perfectly".

Babyboom - yes, the transfer rate is higher, but not for emergencies but for failure to progress or for more pain relief! Why do you feel uncomfortable about that?

Try trawling through all of this for evidence of safety.

And women don't beat themselves up, they suffer the natural consequences of having birth taken out of their hands. It's not because they plan a nice birth that goes wrong, but because of a normal emotional reaction to a difficult birth.

Sorry to be harsh, but I really find it very irritating when understandable psychological birth trauma is belittled as someone who psyched themselves up too much for a natural birth and didn't get what they wanted.

dd1 - elec cs for macrosomia (obv hosp)

ds1 - back to back labour, that weird internal rotation thingy (not recommended lol) eventual vbac 1 - i had to stay in a week due to being in a right mess, but ds was fine for discharge after a day. (hosp)

dd2 - vbac2 labour all fine. student midwife and supervisor. all monitoring by student. supervisor decided to check dilation before allowing student to 'catch' as it were, but dd2's head cold to touch. crashed paeds, prepped ventouse etc etc. dd2 has cerebral palsy due to birth hypoxia and spent 5 weeks in scbu.

labour would have been no different had i been at home. dd2 almost certainly would not have survived.

that said - i always quite liked the idea of a homebirth, but post cs it was not an option for me personally. (i am quite small and have reasonable sized babies).

i have no particular preference either way and believe you should go for what feels right for you.

in my case i remain glad that i had specialist paediatric back-up available immediately.

"i have no particular preference either way and believe you should go for what feels right for you"

I agree with this entirely. Labouring hormones are blocked by adrenaline, so wherever you feel safest deep down is where you'll labour best.

Hello there, just thought I'd add that after eventually settling on a hospital birth for my first baby I managed a calm, tranquil and completely natural birth in one of the UK's largest consultant-led units. I'm talking dimmed lights, TENS machine, delivery on all-fours and physiological third stage. The two midwives I saw were very supportive and respectful of my wishes and I felt happy and in complete control the whole time.

I'm now pregnant with baby number two and once again flirting with the idea of a homebirth. However, knowing that hospital birth can also be a very positive experience (with the benefit of a paediatric resuscitation team just round the corner should the worst happen) I will probably opt for hospital again.

I know it doesn't always end up this way, but just thought I'd let you know it can happen.

I never had a choice as both of my pregnancies were high risk (high blood pressure, intra-uterine growth retardation and in my second pregnancy pre-eclampsia), but I didn't find hospital at all traumatic- and I don't think I've been dehumanised . In particular, my second birth (emergency caesarian) was a very jolly almost social experience.

For me, hospital felt like the safest place, so was probably the place where I laboured best. And this wasn't just about needing reassurance by the medical aspect (though in my case, that did feel pretty important).

It was also due to the fact that I wouldn't really feel comfortable with midwives hanging around in my house and having to worry about the state of the bathroom or whether they had anywhere to sit. I needed to get away from my usual environment to be able to relax and concentrate (and not have to tidy up beforehand). People are different. Relaxing is whatever relaxes you.

Flamingo I don't feel uncomfortable with the idea of homebirths at all just not in first-time mothers who have no idea what to expect. And I can't imagine that being transferred via ambulance in the middle of labour even for non-emergencies -- is a pleasant experience especially if a woman is delivering for the first time. In fact, I can?t imagine anything more scary.

Thank you for the research but everything seems to suggest that homebirths are AS safe, not moreso, than hospital births.

Not sure about the tangent you went off on about ?belittling? birth trauma so I?ll leave it at that?.

I stand by my comment (I have two close friends that are cases in point) that too many women feel like failures when their births end up being more medicalized than they had expected. I think you are right in saying that women ?suffer the natural consequences of having birth taken out of their hands? but perhaps it is the misconception that birth is completely ?in our hands? in the first place which needs to be addressed.

I think each woman should approach labour in the way she feels most comfortable (home birth, hospital birth, waterbirth etc.) but with an open mind that certain things are just out of our control. A minority of deliveries will require a more medicalised approach for the safety of the mother and the child and a woman should not be made to feel that she has ?failed? in labour if she ends up needing an intervention.

babyboom1979 - you may not feel comfortable with hb's for first time mothers. Plenty of us do.

Like I said I had my first baby (and only one so far) at home last year.

Of course I couldn't know what labour would be like in advance but I knew that I wanted to do it my way and I knew that I would cope with the pain better in my own home where I could be comfortable and at ease.

I had a long and hard labour but it was the most positive and fulfilling experience of my life. I was looked after by 2 fantastic experienced midwives and I was not bound by the regulations or standard practices of a hospital. Everything happened exactly as I wanted it to (well I could have done with about 15 hours less of it tbh!).

I would encourage any first time mother to have their baby at home as long as they've thought it through and know it's the right choice for them.

The community midwives in my region are very pro-home birth, particularly for first time mothers, because first-time labors tend to take longer and there is more time to notice problems that might necessitate hospital transfer.