Did your DC come into hospital to meet their new sibling?

[Pinkjenny]

Just pondering what the best thing to do is, and as I have no siblings, and therefore no frame of reference, I'm wondering what the majority do.

Dd is 2.6, her ds is due next month, and being delivered by ELCS. She is a reasonably clingy child, and I am wondering whether it would be better to:

a) wait until I come home for her to see ds, so probably stay with my mum for two days, if I stay in for the same period as last time (she has only been away from me for 4 nights and we still cosleep )

or

b) let her come into the hospital and run the risk of her getting really upset when she has to 'leave me' there, iyswim.

I am, perhaps, overthinking this, but just wondering what most people do.

Yes, both times. And it was a very good thing with DD3 - DDs 1 and 3 got to hold her when they came in about 12 hourse after she was born. DD3 was taken to SCBU a couple of hours later, and no-one except me and DH got to hold her again for 4 days (and we didn;t get very many opportunities).

There was never any problem with my DDs leaving me in the hospital but then, my parents were staying, and like other have said, there were plenty of interesting things planned to keep them entertained

Yes, When I had Dd I was adamant that my 11 year old Ds was the 1st to meet her, no other visitors were allowed untill Dp had brought him in!

Same when I had Ds2, no visitors allowed untill siblings had met!

I have a pic on profile too actually, of Dd and Ds2.

dh bought dd1 into the hospital the day after dd2 was born by elcs. Dd1 was 2y4m at the time.

When dd3 was born (elcs) - the two dds were brought in by dh that afternoon. dd1 was 4y8m, dd2 was 2y4m. Dd2 is a real mumma's girl but she was fine - in fact I had never left her at this point in time.

I felt it was very important for them to meet the new sibling as soon as possible. For them to realise that someone else has come along BUT also that they are a part of the family and not excluded from this event. I think too - keeping the sibling away is not helpful in that they may feel they have no place now that this one is here and did not even get to see the baby when it was new.

I completely understand your point about ensuring the older child doesn't feel left out, but I'm not sure a 2.7yo has quite this level of understanding. She's not going to know who has or hasn't seen the baby before her.

Dh thinks that I'm projecting, and that actually this is my issue, not hers. He is concerned about her being upset that I have disappeared!

DP wanted to bring dd to the hospital to meet her new brother as soon as possible. She decided to go to her friend's party instead "I'm going to have a brother for years and years and years - William's party will only happen once"

LOL at Seeker's DD opting for a party. Clever girl.

DD came to see me in hospital. She was very sweet and so proud to be a Big Sister (which we of course emphasised). I have a lovely photo of her holding DS's bottle.

DS brought her a present too.

yep dh brought dd1 in to see dd2. She was more interested in the hula hoops from the vending machine- but then she was only just 1..

I was in hospital 5 days though due to blood transfusion so couldn't have lasted without seeing her.

Pack a pressie for older dc in the hospital bag and give it to her when they meet.

I was there when my sisters ds and dd met their sister there was major welling up going on from both of us!

Good luck x

Another yes to bringing your dd in to meet new ds.

DC1 (2 at the time) was very clingy. DH brought him in. Having a gift from the new baby is a great idea, even if it's only a small one.

I asked DH to text me from the car park so I wasn't holding DC2 when DC1 came in. He wasn't interested in the baby at all for the first hour, (but liked the gift!)the suddenly came round and wanted to see and hold her. I also made sure that DH held the baby and I paid attention to DS whilst he was there, and he left quite happily knowing I would be back later.

Good luck!

Am in same position as you so interesting to read replies. I do know that at my hospital they have stopped ward tours of maternity unit due to flu risk so depending on how bad the season is at time of your birth, the answer may be made for you by the hospital.

I would love to have DS visit in the hospital, but think there was something in the maternity notes about it not being allowed. Also I remember from last time one of the MWs moaning about silly people who kept trying to bring in all the kids to a ward full of newborns even if they were poorly and carrying all sorts of germs!

Have you thought about stopping the co sleeping before you have your elcs? Only you will not be able to have a toddler in bed with you at all after surgery. It will be dreadful if before hospital you co sleep and then when you return with a new baby no more co sleeping.
My dcs all came to meet siblings in the hospital, ages have been, 14m, 4 & 3, 26m, 5, &6. They have all been very aware not come jump/climb on Mummy and I practiced special hugs before hand so they understood when they came to see me.

Never any jealousy in this house, about a newborn, or any tantrums in hospital. This time I had a private room, but there's always a family room available.

One more thing, keep sibling visits very short and sweet, perhaps get your DH to go shopping with DD to buy you and the baby a present and something to do in the hospital for your dd.

No, DD2 was born at home, so DD1 simply came through to our room in the morning and there she was!! She was interested for about 2 minutes, then side-tracked by the Doctors set we had got her "from the baby" and 2 seconds later flew through to the livingroom when she realised Grandma had stayed over!

Nope, I came home the day after having dd, she stayed in scbu for a week though but there were no siblings yet then. Ds1 was born when dd was 20 months old and everything was fine. I wanted to come home asap, I think it was 8 hours afterwards so no point in visitors. Ds2 I came home 8 hours afterwards too so, again, no vistitors. Dd was almost 5 and ds1 was just 3 when ds2 came along. No jealousy or anything that time either.

yes but dd1 was 4.1 so knew exactly what was going on and desperate to meet her new sister (although she opted to go to nursery first to tell everyone). She was the first visitor too (and the first to be told on the phone what 'she' was and then chose her name - from our shortlist of 2 because we couldn't decide).

Have I thought about it? Er, yeah, it occupies most of my waking thoughts at the moment. But I am struggling to let go. Really, really don't want this to turn into a sleep thread, I have enough people in RL banging on to me about it daily.

Posie backs off quietly.... I had to do cc the month before dc2 was born, it was horrendous but less cruel in the end...
just couldn't let it go without another comment, damn you fingers!!!

Is this your first elcs?

Have you get your CD ready?

Had to add I hate the baby giving older dc a present, makes my teeth itch, we always get older dc to buy for new baby.

No, posie, it's my second ELCS. Dd was breech, and I suspect this baby is now too.

oops....

So Pj, practice some special hugs now...you know invent one where she leans on your arm for a hug or something. My dd was clingy when ds3 was born but it was fine, she visited (with the boys) and was very very cute about the baby.

ps, I've had four sections, so know the pain after.... by the way just a small reminder about after pains, be prepared after ds2 I had awful pains, and the itching when your body comes alive again.... take flannels so your DH can put cold water on your skin.....

One of my best memories after dd was born was the moment ds came to visit - I could hear his excited little voice coming down the hospital corridor & he flew onto my bed for a wonderful cuddle. I was desperate to see him and he was so proud of his new sister. We handled it much as other posters on here have - present from new baby, ds introduced new dd to gps etc. All wonderful & a very emotional experience. (Has me in tears now, 3 years later, writing this).

I think it's very important for the older siblings to feel involved in the experience & to understand where mummy has got to etc. Plus, on a selfish note, I had missed him terribly - much as I loved my new baby, ds was still the centre of my world at the time & I had really missed him whilst in hospital.

My dd1 came to meet dd2. Dd2 had bought her a baloon and a teddy to match the one that dd1 had picked out for her .

Dd1 then went home to help Daddy make the house ready for the baby, because he wouldn't know what to do on his own.

I know it's too late for this for the OP, but when I was expecting DD3, we let 4-yo DD1 tell both sets of GPs that we were going to have a new baby. She was so excited! And the GPs were gobsmacked, as I had sworn DD2 was the last

My DS1 came to see me in hospital 2 or 3 times when twins were born when he was 22 months. He was a bit nonplussed and very shy with me, but I loved seeing him and each time he came in I had some time alone with him to "chat" and tell him I missed him and would be home soon etc.

Despite being so young he did seem to understand a bit and took a pic of his new brother and sister to nursery and was showing everyone saying "my beebees"...[proud].