Am due in April with DC4 - quite a while I know but time flies and I will be in labour before I know it!
Had DS1 & 2 in birth pool at hospital - loved it, no problems afterwards. Had major heamorrage (sp?) after DS2 but cause a mystery, anyway, that's not my concern.
Had to have DS3 on bed as there were not enough MWs on to let me use the pool for his birth. Instantly I felt terrified when they said I would have to deliver in normal delivery room without pool - I had obv. never experienced this before, was all new.
Anyway, had him, fine, I tore (a little) as I only pushed for 5 mins, I wanted him out and I wanted it over asap, I really felt out of control and 'exposed'.
Everything fine and dandy, went home, got breastfeeding started etc then 2 days later, was kneeling in bath washing me bits/stitches with shower head as you do when suddenly something happened to my bum and I couldn't move. Thought my innards were coming out.
Called for DH who managed to get me out of bath - couldn't move - copped a look in the mirror and I had a huge bunch of grapes protruding.
HaD NEVER had these before and was horrified, pain was excrutiating.
Anyway, couldn't walk, sit, lie - felt like they were bulging firther whatever I did.
Called Delivery, they got some cream sorted for DH to go pick up, off he went. Put cream on - no relief whatsoever.
This goes on another day until I am in tears with the pain - go to A&E. Explain I have deliverd, now have piles but think there is more wrong with me as I can barely move, so much pain etc.
Wait for 3 hours, stood up, which seemed to be the lesser of 2 evils, crying into DHs shoulder with everyone staring at me like I'm a loon, with my bum stuck out at a funny angle to try to relieve some pressure - God knows what they thought had happened to me.
Got in to see Doc, he has a look, arms me with lube and some gloves, tells me to go home and try to ram it back up there so it reabsorbs - tells me lots of different techniques for doing so.
Off I hobble.
Get home, attempt what he has said, grape is size of end section of your thumb, am horrified. As soon as I remove finger, it pops back out, so lay on tummy with finger up bum for a good 10 minutes to keep lump in and enjoy relief of it not being sticking out - didn't hurt when it was back in.
Gave up after 4/5 attempts.
Went to see my GP next day who has a look and says it is 'thrombosed' so no amount of ramming it back up will help, it can't be reabsorbed, have to wait till it disappears on it's own, if it does, if not will have to have it lanced! Start to panic.
After 3 more days of agony it starts to get smaller and eventually goes, by which time, breastfeeding was trashed as I couldn't sit etc long enough to get anything done, plus have nerve damage to boobs so was difficult anyway. Another long story.
Anyway - reason I am posting, I was playing with kids yesterday on floor, which involved me lying on my back with my knees pulled up to chest (we were hibernating!). Afterwards, my bum felt a bit uncomfortable, not painful though, like I had something stuck between cheeks, go to bathroom to investigate, have a little lump.... gave it a poke, it went, bum felt fine again.
Am now terrified of all this happening again this time I give birth. It totally ruined the precious first days with DS3, being in agony and housebound, barely able to move.
If lying on my back in ball shape causes them to pop out, I know pushing a baby out is going to cause me another huge one which will ruin everything again.
I tried to discuss with MW - I asked her if there was any way you could train yourself to only use your vaginal muscles while pushing? Her answer as a straight no.
I wonder if the fact I was on all fours to deliver DS3 had anything to do with it? 'Opening' my bum more than previous semi reclined in water positions did?
Any ideas or experience? I quite enjoy labour and delivery but am dreading it this time already. If I go in scared I know I will not cope.
Sorry for long post, have never got it all off my chest before and DS3 is 11 months.