if all transport options fall through can you call an ambulance?

[madremia09]

hiya,
my partner works in field service so could be miles away and my friend who has offered to help out might not be available.this is the scenario.
i am alone with dd, 3.
what would you do?
no suggestions of hombirth please,its not an option
thanks

mosschops30..

THE MIDWIFE SAID IT WOULD BE SOCIAL SERVICES

WHICH I DONT WANT WHICH IS WHY I WAS ASKING FOR ADVICE

YES THEY ARE OVERSTRETCHED ARENT THEY,TOO BUSY PICKING UP DRUNKS ETC

thanks for everyone whos been helpful,will look into the childminder aspect

So, now you know. No need to get cross.

Best to get in touch with childminders/babysitters in area who may be able to take DD off your hands when the moment arrives. You definitely need to have taxi numbers and money ready in your labour bag (and pack it if you haven't!)

How far away is the furthest away your DH could be? In which case you ring him the second you have something that even vaguely passes for a contraction, then ring the childminder with whom you have already made arrangements. And then ring the taxi. You will probably need to make sure you have a rubber sheet to sit on (just a little one like you'd put on a toddler bed - again, in your labour bag) or some towels otherwise taxi driver may not be keen.

madremia
does your DD go to a nursery or a pre-school at all?
I work in a nursery and if one of our mums was in your position then one of the nursery nurses would come to your house (if it was outside nursery hours) or you would be able to drop her off on your way to the hospital ( if during nursery hours) and one of the nursery nurses would take her to your house or their house.
There is a solution to your problem, we just haven't found it yet

OP, for heaven's sake, no need to be so defensive and shouty. You're expecting us to grasp all the intricacies of your situation and your attitude to the SS idea from your earlier posts, but those did not make everything as clear as you seem to believe. Certainly not clear enough that you can justifiably get so p'd off.

You have had plenty of good advice here since my post, but since you actually asked (sarcastically) what I'd do:

• ask your friend to confirm the specifics of her availability, eg when can she be sure she is able to take DD, and when not, exactly. If she is genuine about wanting to help you, she should understand why this is necessary to help you plan.. If she doesn't want to be ultra-specific, or cannot, then I would make plans as if she will not be available at all (though still hope she might) just to be safe.

• then look for alternatives for all times when your friend is not going to be available: if you genuinely have no other friends or acquaintances who you can ask for help in your hour of need, then clearly this would have to be paid childcare. Obviously this very much depends on where you are and your budget so it's up to you to think of & investigate all the options locally.

• if paid childcare is not available or you cannot afford it, then I would speak to the midwife again and ask for more advice, saying that you genuinely cannot find anyone free or paid, and you really would rather not use SS, does she have any other suggestions for who you might call, etc. Or even call SS in a non-urgent way and explain that you have been advised to think of them as a last resort and you hope not to use them, but find out exactly what would happen if you really really had to, so at least you are prepared.

• above all I would spend time talking through everything in a gentle and positive way with your DD so that she is well prepared, knows the names and faces of all the people who may be caring for her, and doesn't get frightened whatever happens. And would pack a little bag for her with comforting things and essentials so that it's ready to grab and go. Don't know her age but perhaps she can help with this and look on it as an adventure.

In short: do anything and everything to ensure you are covered and double-covered to avoid a stressful & scary dash at the last moment. Is your DH away long-term, or will he be home at all before the birth? If he is going to be home at all for any length of time, hopefully he can help you to organize all of the practicalities -- I would expect him to at least help with thinking up ideas, it's his problem too.

Oh, and write absolutely everything down with all relevant names, numbers and so on, super-clearly on a single sheet of paper, and keep it somewhere really prominent so you or anyone else can lay hands on it in a hurry. Along with your taxi money, times two or three just to cover the slim chance you may get sent home from hospital because you're not ready (unlikely but better safe than sorry).

Is there anybody else trustworthy from DH's work (don't know what field service is) that could jump in, even if you don't know them much? People understand this is a one-time situation and they won't mind coming to the hospital or even your place in the middle of the night to sit with DD.
Just make sure you have all phone numbers together.

The ambulance won't be any safer for your child (if she has to come) than a taxi anyway, so you might as well go for the taxi- thereby ensuring that the ambulance is free for someone who might actually die without it.

I was quite new in the area when I had my DD2 - but other Mums really are very keen to help with labour and delivery childcare. When I thought about it, I realised that I would like it to be part of the excitement of a new birth without having to actually have contractions and push and everything. So it is well worth asking Mums that you don't feel are good friends (yet).

We did a couple of trial runs where DD1 was babysat by the emergency childcare people while I had antenatal appointments. She was absolutely fine, but it gave me peace of mind to know that she had done it all before and was happy. We also packed a "labour bag" for DD1 with pajamas, change of clothes, favourite snacks, nappies, favourite toy etc. That way she could be transported to any of the childcare choices at a moment's notice.

Does your friend have any friends that you've met? How pregnant are you? Could you arrange for your friend to introduce you to people that might be suitable?

could you ask your friend if she has any other friends that might be available?

but i do think finding a baby sitter could be best as your DD can stay at home in familiar surroundings. otherwise ask round the local childminders.