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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Can anything equal or beat the 'high' of childbirth?

97 replies

earlycomputers · 02/09/2009 12:51

Having had 3 kids, I always feel kind of sad when it's all over - ie the birth. Whether the birth went well or not, having a baby is such amazing experience and I feel can be likened to the feeling people might get if they did some superhuman achievement (eg sail round the world/jump out of a plane etc etc). The feelings of happiness/adrenaline etc if the birth went well is also great. Everything, after having a baby, seems to pale into insignificance...

The question I have is - what can equal or beat the high of having a baby? What have others done that's rivalled this high? I would like some suggestions (only legal ones please and ones that dont involve jumping out of a plane as I dont like heights)!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

bloss · 03/09/2009 00:16

Message withdrawn

theslightlypeckishcaterpillar · 03/09/2009 00:22

There was a huge high after dd2. I just felt on top of the world for about 3 weeks after. I'm sure the midwives/HVs thought I was putting on a brave face and was huding PND, but I was so happy.

DD1 was a different story. Was knackered, sore, worn out, stressed adn just a bit lost.

I didn't enjoy either pregnancy, but I'd go through another 9 months of misery for the post-birth feeling I had after DD2.

l39 · 03/09/2009 03:52

I had post-natal elation for at least 6 months after my first. The rush of joy when I first saw her kept growing for weeks! There was no crash down either, I just gradually came back down to earth when she started weaning.
We were desperately poor and living in a horrible bedsit yet I couldn't have been happier. I expected new motherhood to be gruelling, and it was an absolute joy. The pregnancy had been practically effortless too, and this one isn't - hence being up at half past three in the morning!

fidelma · 03/09/2009 04:49

Yes total high each time.I am soon to have my 4th and though aprehensive about the birth I also can't wait.Sadly I can't think of anything eles that has given me such a high.

Longtalljosie · 03/09/2009 07:12

Nope - heard all about the high on Mumsnet and didn't get it at all. Blown away by seeing my baby, yes - but no high.

My labour was very long though, and I was exhausted by the end. I wonder if the high is more likely with a quicker labour?

kathyis6incheshigh · 03/09/2009 07:45

l39 - I had postnatal elation for months as well, but it didn't kick in until a week or two after she was born.
I put it down to having had hyperemesis and no longer having it. In which case I ought to get a bloody huge dose this time round!

BonsoirAnna · 03/09/2009 07:47

Falling in love with DP and my post-natal elation after DD were equally mindblowing and lasted for years...

BonsoirAnna · 03/09/2009 07:49

I agree with l39 that weaning was the point at which the post-natal elation began to dwindle. But it was very slow (and I breastfed for a very long time...).

I cannot stand DD going near my breasts now, nearly 5 years post-birth. So the feeling is obviously well and truly over.

Mandy121 · 03/09/2009 09:28

I had a c-sectiont the first time so was more of a low than a high but am due in 2 months and opting to try it au-natural this time.....looking forward baby popping out, hopefully will get that high this time :-)

oneopinionatedmother · 03/09/2009 10:10

yes, to the other girls that took drugs, i agree. nothing ike as good as post partum uplift. atually i was somewhat disappointed by Ecstacy - it never lived up t the name for me. But then maybe i'm a miserable bugger from the off..

colditz · 03/09/2009 10:12

I got a much bigger rush after ds1 than after ds2, and ds1 was a MUCH MUCH harder labour.

It felt very much like mdma to me....

OmniDroid · 03/09/2009 10:24

I'm very of all these highs.

I was happy, tired, joyful, but not 'high' after either of my children's births. And that is one difficult and highly medicalised birth, and one 'perfect' drug-free home water birth. Happy, but not high.

My PhD viva, on the other hand, was a real high that took an age to come down from. Strange, but true...

Northernlurker · 03/09/2009 10:42

I didn't have it after dd1 but I did after dd2 and dd3. Tbh I can't imagine anything else being like that - it's such a mix of relief, love, elation and adrenaline. I don't think it makes any difference to your bond with your baby but it's just a sort of birth bonus

countrylover · 03/09/2009 14:16

Me too Goosey - first birth ended in em c-section and DS1 taken to SCBU for two weeks with a heart problem = no bonding and certainly no high for well, around two years. I think that was when I finally got rid of the PND....

DS2 was slightly better but it was a failed attempt at a VBAC which ended up with yet another em c-section but this time joy of joys the surgeon cut my bladder in half by mistake so I had to have reconstructive surgery for four hours afterwards.

Oh what a high that was

TheOldestCat · 03/09/2009 14:23

I got my high from the tea and toast - first thing I'd eaten for a couple of days (long labour) and it was just bliss.

That and meeting DD of course.

SoWhat · 03/09/2009 14:26

Nothing matches it for me. I didn't sleep for 3 days solid! The midwives were telling me to sleep and I couldn't! Just sat watching DD sleep.

oneopinionatedmother · 03/09/2009 14:40

@countylover how bloody awful - wasn't he looking at what he was doing? (the surgeaon at your second CS)

@sowat - yes i couldn't sleep either, for days..but that was mre cos i got v. stressed with people

CarrieDababi · 03/09/2009 15:38

yes i did feel the biggest high of my life, wonderful wonderful feeling.
wish i could bottle that feeling.
better than ANYTHING in the world
even winning the lotto[not that i have]

its a mix of getting through the birth and seeing your baby for the first time and holding your baby in your arms
POW

but birth is a funny thing, as it was the biggest high of my life but also the worst day of my life [as i had a 4th degree tear and wash rushed off for a repair op]and the most terrifying too.
and very powerful mix of emotions in one day

funtimewincies · 03/09/2009 19:50

I had a normal delivery, was pleased that ds was fine and rather knackered but no 'high'.

Let's hope that it happens with this one . I hadn't realised that it was the norm rather than the exception!

Veggiemummy · 03/09/2009 19:57

Oh no I shouldn't have read this thread. My DS2 is 8 months old and DH doesn't want anymore, but I would so love to give birth again. I loved G&A with DS1 but the endorphin rush between each contraction was so amazing I didn't want to mask it with the G&A (though my MW knew how much I love the stuff so let me have a few totes afterwards while she examined me). The power feeling others have discribed was also amazing during the labour it is awesome as well as terrifying. I have done a lot of adrenalin fuelled things in my life inc scuba diving with Dolphins and turtles, and one lazy shark, and getting some serious air on a snowboard. Just last long weekend I cycled from Bristol to Derby, but nothing comes near the birth of my boys. It's a fact that makes me proud to be a women, but a little sad that it is now all a memory. I am jealous of anyone about to give birth. But good births to anyone who is!

MrsMerryHenry · 03/09/2009 20:16

Maybe the 'high' depends on the type of birth? I had a drug-free, self-managed birth, so all the endorphins were free to do their thing.

kathyis6incheshigh · 03/09/2009 20:18

MrsMerryHenry - you might think so, but if you read the thread you will see that lots of people who had drug-free births didn't get the high.

VeryHungryLennipillar · 03/09/2009 20:23

DD's labour was a terrible experience as births go but I still had a huge rush afterwards, but of love rather than from the birth.

DS had a waterbirth, quick and beautiful. The hairs stand up on the back of my neck if I think about it. I love to play the music that was in the labour room as it takes me right back there, I can feel it all again. It was a massive high, an incredible experience. Of course I felt the whole power of the newborn thing with him too but it was the birth itself which made me elated. I didn't sleep that night, was buzzing with adrenaline. We stayed on the midwife unit in a double room, and when I was discharged 6 hours after he was born the midwife just smiled at me and said, "You'll sleep, in about 3 days time, just enjoy it." She was right.

Chica31 · 03/09/2009 20:27

A complete high a rush of love and energy. I didn't sleep for 3 nights, but had the most energy I ever had. I have never felt so alive! Meeting my DD for the first time was truly wonderful, looking up at my DH whose face was so wet from crying, I felt complete, we were a family!

I've just read that back, a bit gushing I know, but it really was how I felt. DD is 3 months, now I just feel a bit knackered! lol

kitkatqueen · 03/09/2009 20:32

My ds ( no4 ) is 11 days old and I was on a perpetual high from the minute he was born until about 2 days ago, I only have to think about how the labour went to start grinning again and that is all in spite of horrible afterpains ( which have finally gone ) and the knowledge that I somehow have to marshall a 5 yr old a 3 yr old a 20 mnth old and a newborn on the school run on monday when dp has gone back to work.

I would love to post my latest birth on here as a positive birth story instead of the scary ones that you often hear about, but don't think it would be fair on the people who did have a scary one iykwim? Slightly scatty post baby brain, but I still can't stop grinning.

I wouldn't want to be pregnant again, but I would happily give birth again tomorrow.

Oh and the closest thing I can describe as the feeling of the after birth high is jumping over a hump backed brige on a big motorbike and even that has paled in comparison...

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