Anyone else scared sh'tless about the prospect of childbirth? And, for those who were but are now out the other side, how did it weigh up?

[confuseddoiordonti]

This has probably come up 101 times before, but I think me and DH may TTC in the coming months - or at least think more seriously about it!
I am a diabetic (type 1) and so the likliehood of extra intervention is likely (as far as I an tell that seems to be the norm unfortuntely) and I am squeamish to say the least. Not to mention, due to being a bit of a control freak over my own body (although nothing else) worried about being 'told' I need things that, in fact, make things easier for the staff rather than myself and the baby. (I have also read some threads re Type 1's and their birth stories on MN which hasn't helped matters!)
So, anyone out there, pregnant or those already with children - what are your thoughts on the whole thing? Are you too squeamish, scared, denial, or gloriously positive? All stories and opinions would be helpful (I think )
Thanks!

The best piece of advice I had while pg with my first, was from a new mother who told me I would feel pain like I'd never experienced before, but that it would pass, that millions of women have gone through it, and that once it was over I would (more or less!) forget the pain.

I found it far more helpful to have someone being straightforward and honest, not revelling in the gory detail, but not pretending it's a picnic either. So I went into labour expecting it to hurt (it does - lots) but believing that I could do it.

Having a supportive birth partner is paramount - whether it's DH, midwife or both.

If control is important to you, I would recommend having a scale of pain relief strategies, starting with simple things like changing position, moving around, massage, water... that way you have plenty of things to fall back on. I managed to get through the above, then progressed onto a few whiffs of gas and air,and that was first time with a big baby with a large head!

I felt cheated tbh as if there was a club of women who knew how bad it was but had decided not to share it with me. It WAS the worst pain ever and FAR worse then I had expected. But, as said, I went on and did it again so nature tricks you!

Actually I can relate to that lovescats... even though this friend had warned me, I still had that same feeling as you afterwards! Along the lines of 'OMG how could anyone who has had a natural birth NOT have told me exactly what it was like!!'

It was painful, but also a really empowering positive experience. I would happily give birth again tomorrow, the rush afterwards of what my body had achieved. I think that running a marathon must be a similar feeling, acutely painful but an amazing achievement.

Pregnancy on the other hand... that lasts a LONG time, my memory of it is too clear to contemplate going through that again

I was terrified of labour and childbirth.

I also had a medical condition that made intervention more likely (high blood pressure) and I was induced 3 days before my due date because of it.

I barely slept the night before the induction as I was dreading it so much.People were saying "Bet you're fed up of being pregnant and can't wait to get thebaby out now!" and I was thinking "No, the baby can stay in there for as long as it wants!".

11 hours after being induced I went into labour, later had pethidine and an epidural and 11 hours after labour began dd went into distress and I had an em c/section.

And honestly, it was all fine. Yes, the recovery from the c/s probably took a bit longer and it all wiped me out a bit but it really is fine. The sense of pride I felt at the end at having produced this baby was like no other feeling I have ever known.

I would do it all again tomorrow, without a second's hesitation

I was induced at term + 10 due to no fluid left around the baby which was picked up at my term + 10 consultant appointment.

It wasn't nice, I wasn't expecting to be induced when I was (thought I was just having a routine requested CTG because of no fluid when they said it's time to get her out!), it was late at night, I was tired, but at that point I just wanted her out and to be okay and so that sort of masked over any fear I'm sure I was feeling!

It hurt, a bloody lot. When it got to about an hour before I was ready to push, I was very much in my own world. Aware of people around me, but only concentrating on getting through each contraction. Managed on G&A and failed Pethidine (MW told me afterwards she didn't inject properly, but didn't tell me in the hope it'd have a placebo effect I'd do it all again right now if somebody told me that afterwards I'd feel how I felt in terms of achievement, and the feeling I got when I saw/heard DD for the first time.

I have to say I wasn't afraid the first time. I'd nothing to mark it against, no experience - just hearsay - and carried this belief I'd be one of the lucky ones, and avoid all the nasty stuff!

anyway it was easy that time, I had an epidural after a few hours, whole thing about 8hrs - didn't feel the pushing, the worst bit as being sick afterwards as a reaction to some drug I think.

Anyway...it was like 'oh well I can do that again!' but really felt like I'd 'cheated' which was annoying. I kind of felt uncomfortable about it. But when I did it the second time, I had a 3.5 hour labour, so little warning, no time for drugs, all at home - it BLOODY hurt and shocked me totally, I was actually in shock after it - shaking, terrified, very low and gloomy for about an hour. I felt like I'd literally been hit by a truck or something, really kind of broken, injured etc but I'd lost a lot of blood too which didn't help.

anyway - it passed and I was fine. I don't know how I got through it but I did, and I feel the first time was for a reason - if I'd known how much it hurt I'd perhaps not have had another. Well saying that I still want to have a third - i'm blocking out the memories!! There's always an epidural anyway

I wasn't afraid the first time. Then I saw what it was like and was terrified the second time. Got my elCS and all was good.

I think everyone is a little apprehensive of childbirth, whether your TTC or expecting no. 3 (like me ).

dd's birth was long and painful, I wish people had told me the truth instead of saying things like 'oh but its a bearable pain, a bit like a period pain'. Bollocks it was nothing like that, it was excrutiating and I was terrified.

ds's birth I was induced for, and as I knew how painful it would be, it actually wasnt that bad, I was prepared, and kept thinking 'oh its gonna get worse'. But it was fine as far as labour goes and even in the hours after Id had him I knew I would do it again.

Here I am on no.3, have no preconcieved ideas about the birth other than it will hurt . I am quite looking forward to it and in a sick way I like all the attention . Best of all I love that feeling when I need to push, there is no other feeling like it, its overwhelming and you know then that your body knows what its doing, also love the panting bit as I know then that Im nearly there

Good luck, you will be fine.

I had every intervention pretty much I think there could be! Induction, diamorphine, artificial rupture of membranes, gas and air, epidural, spinal block, prep for c-section, ventouse and then DD (who was back-to-back and I had fibroids) was finally delivered by forceps after 30 hours and a major episiotomy. If my DH ever recounts any info about the birth, he just tells everyone that I spent most of it shouting, "get me the f***g drugs!" She's 18 months now and since the moment she was born I have been desperate to get pregnant again and repeat the experience! I think my point is it's amazing, even when it's bad. Good luck with TTC.

I agree with Antiquarian. Despite all sorts of invterventions and yes, of course some pain, childbirth is without doubt the most amazing experience I've ever had. I had been terrified of it all my life but when the time came I enjoyed it in an odd sort of way which is hard to explain. You feel like Wonderwoman when it's over!!!

I would just say enjoy your pregnancy without wasting precious time worrying, and know that you'll get through the birth just fine. And to share a bit of wisdom I received from a friend a few weeks before I had my baby... "there are more periods of 'normalness' than there are pain during labour" and that is SO true. Quite a lot of the time you're just chatting to DP/DH and taking a break between contractions.

Hypnobirthing.

Doula - I have a fear of hospitals and late complications meant I couldn't get into the water birth unit, which was my worst fear. Then the hospital ran out of delivery beds and I was moved around various post-natal units (it is not great going through the worst bits of labour in a room with 8 women who've just had babies and with kids running round and trying to peer at you under the curtain round the bed) and only got into a delivery room for the last hour.
But because I had a fantastic doula I was able to stay focussed in on the birth and my husband was able to be my birth partner while the doula shielded us from the completely unhelpful hospital staff (who started complaining to us at one point that we were not in the right ward...) so I had a straightforward 4-hour labour with gas and air. Without the doula it would have been hell.
I also found it shockingly painful and afterwards had the shock reaction that someone else described - shaking and sick and feeling awful, I didn't get the empowerment bit at all I just felt wrecked unfortunately and took me 2 weeks to feel ok. Although everyone told me I'd had a wonderful natural birth I might well go for the epidural next time.

That's a shame that having gone through the pain of natural birth, you didn't get the 'high'.

I agree francessarah that a supportive birth partner is key - mine was a midwife, and as I was in a unit, I knew everyone in the midwife team from antenatal visits. In fact one of my main reasons for not going to a hospital is because it's too impersonal and you don't know anyone - so hardly surprising it raises stress levels.

BTW, don't rule out a natural birth next time around - if you managed it first time, then you've done the hardest thing. Second labours tend to be shorter and easier, and remember your body has done it all before!

Francessarah its nice to hear that someone else felt the same after the birth as I did. There was no immediate rush of love or protectiveness towards dd, I had no desire to hold her just felt sick and shaky for about two weeks. BP kept going up but it was just shock and wore off and I love dd more than anything else in the world now and ttc#2.

The labour will scare me again, especially after an instrumental delivery like last time and the sickness afterwards but it is so worth it.

Yes, I was absolutely petrified. And more information just made me more worried, not less.

I ended up hypoventilating during a birth preparation class when we watched a video of a birth. The midwife leading the class came over to me, spotted I was panicking and got me to lie down to chill out. Felt worse! Ending up having a nosebleed on the floor as I panted away trying to keep it together!

Midwife shooed the other ladies out of the room to keep them away from the nutter (me) and then tried to sort me out.

I was in floods. Yikes.........

Fast forward to the birth, it was FINE.
I felt relaxed and trusted the medical staff and yes, it hurt. Yes, it was quite long. Yes, I had episio. Yes, I had forceps.

BUT it was not as bad as I had feared!

And for DD2, I went all-natural! I felt so confident after the first, I went for birthing pool and no pain relief, not to be tough, just cos felt I wouldn't and didn't need it.

All natural birth and AMAZING experience.

I would say, don't read too much. Try to relax. Try to remember most women (who can) do go on to have more than one child.

Best of luck!

It hurts. Like nothing you've ever known. But women have been doing it, and surviving it, since time began. And you'll forget it afterwards.

And then you'll wake up one day and they will be 19 months. Cuddled in the snook of your arm in bed with you watching Teletubbies at 6am. Smelling divine and babbling on about cows and tractors. Perfection.

Addictedtocrunchies my dd is 19mo and I think I may cry at your post. Can't wait for the next one.

Seriously op, its bad but not bad enough to prevent us from having more. Go for it.

I almost cried while typing it. He is blond with blue eyes and beautiful. Even if I do say so myself!

I just love the cuddles and the babbling and watching her sleep. Its so worth it.

OMG how soppy are we!

God yes, it hurts. And God it's so worth it - 100 times over.
This time last year I was being induced, with my eyes tight shut and a continuous roaring pain in my lower stomach that made me seriously consider jumping out of the 2nd floor window.

Now I want another one. My son is a delight, the most beautiful, sunny and delicious squidgy thing. I love him. I would go through weeks of labour pain just to have the chance of knowing him.
I was terrified before but I'm so glad I did it. However good or bad your birth experience is, it's the bit that comes afterwards that matters. And you won't regret it.

I was terrified with first birth - shaking uncontrollably as they wheeled me down to labour ward. Was induced. Hurt but NOWHERE near as bad as I thought. My friend told me it was like being kicked in belly by a horse. It wasn't.

2nd birth happened too quickly to get scared. Over riding memory of that birth was I moo'd like a cow during contractions (it helped somehow)and when I was pushing him out I let out a big 'grrr' sound. So the fact that I can remember the sounds rather than the pain says everything. Fear is a natural response to the unknown but just keep in mind that it will be one day in your life and at the end it will be the best day. Good luck.

I am the biggest, most squeamish baby in the world and have lived through two c-sections. Not even 10% as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, the second one was positively enjoyable