2nd degree tear, plus slight anterior wall prolapse - would I be eligible for an elective section?

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My actual labour was not too bad at the time, although long, and a long 2nd stage (2hrs). Baby was only 7lb 5oz with under average head circumference, and I followed all instructions re not pushing, but still had 2nd degree tear. Seemed to take a long time to heal and have never felt normal again. Have been to GP a few times due to discomfort down below and have been told that my vaginal walls are saggy and slight anterior wall prolapse.
I would love another child, and I could handle the contractions again, but the thought of the 2nd stage fills me with dread.
I was stitched up by the midwife but she kept getting irritated as I could feel the pain even though she had anaesthetised. I don't know why, but I am just convinced that it was not done correctly.
I am also worried that another vaginal birth will cause my slightly saggy fanjo to get a lot worse.
It is all already causing major problems with my sex life (ie don't have one, as I am incredibly tense about my partner going anywhere near there. I gave birth over a year ago, and I know I need to get things sorted, otherwise there will be no pregnancy, never mind a birth!
Would be interested to hear any similar stories. Thanks.

BTW, we have had sex since the birth, but never for any length of time, due to either discomfort or psychological tension .

I had 2nd degree tear and prolapse with my 2nd baby - took ages to heal (was in agony for months)and even longer before I felt remotely comfortable to have sex again. When I did it was ok but def felt like everything was pretty slack down there and have no confidence in that department anymore. We are not planning anymore children but if we were I would absolutely request a c-section as I would never go through that again even though I have never had surgery in my life and would be terrified! Sorry not to help more just wanted you to know you have my every sympathy! Have you thought about some councelling to help you get your sex life back on track?

Thank you for replying - it helps just to know I'm not the only one in this situation.
I haven't been seen by anyone, as I have been trying to get through things and just keep "trying", as the GP suggested. She also said just use lots of KY jelly. I haven't really expressed the psychological issues, as I feel pretty guilty feeling this way, as I read on here about people who have had 3rd and 4th degree tears, uterine prolapses and instrumental deliveries, and they all seem to manage to have a normal sex life, so why can't I IYSWIM?
Like mummyneedsalatte, I just don't think I could go through it again - not childbirth in itself as I managed it all with just gas and air, but just the after effects of it.
Perhaps I should go back to GP and explain - do you think I might get referred to a gynae or obstetrician?

Hi sorry to hear of your problems, sounds like you need to see a gynae consultant to check things out. Just go to your GP and dont let them fob you off, you can ask for a referl and they have to do it, its your right!

I feel strongly about this as I had a similar problem afetr I had my dd, I went to my Gp and she dismissed me, said it was all normal post birth, anyway to cut a very long story short, I demanded a gynae referal and ended up having an op!

I have been guaranteed a C section should I get preggers again, thank god!

You can have a C section for your next birth, no doubt about it, get refered to a gynae consultant and get some reassurance, dont take your Gps word for it they are really not experts in this field!

Ill get off my soap box now, but good luck with everything

I've no idea if you'd be eligible for a C section (and no opinion on if you should or not, I hope they'd listen and reach a reasonable decision with you) but hope my experience will help.

I had a bad 2nd degree tear and an episiotomy stiched up and suffered with slight prolapse afterwards. Sex was very painful, GP said to perserve. I wasn't convinved but did and it did all get better. With second baby I was convinced I was heading for the same all over again but I didn't have any tears, no stiches or anything, just a small graze!! Bigger baby second time too. It was amazing how much easier the recovery was. So, bad first time doesn't mean bad second time.

I had my baby 3 months ago. I also had a long 2nd stage (3 1/2 hours) ending in an episiotomy and 2nd degree tear. After the all clear that I had healed up as much as it was going to at the 6 week check we carefully tried sex again but to my confusion, I'm actually too tight for my husband to enter. When we try its extremely painful and seems blocked and I have toothache type pain for ages afterwards. I also have an anterior wall prolapse which doesn't hurt but gets uncomfortable on my daily walks to get fit again.
I went to the GP and they have referred me to the gynae consultant so I'm waiting on the non-urgent list (as its not affecting my health just my sex life!!). You should definitely ask to be referred as you need specialist advise.

I sympathise as I'm pretty terrified of when we eventually want a little bro or sis for my baby. Labour was ok but the last hour and being stiched up was a nightmare and I still have flashbacks which stop me sleeping sometimes. It seems pathetic but childbirth is pretty traumatic when you've barely been to the GP before. Good luck and hope you're feeling better soon,

It seems to vary hugely from area to area as to how easy/hard it is to get a Csection after difficult 1st birth.

The 2 main factors that seem to carry the most weight are incontinence issues (foecal, urinary incontinence even when it's quite bad doesn't seem to be something a lot of HCPs take seriously), and severe psychological trauma.

As I say, it depends SO much on the consultant, but mild prolapses/perineal damage/pelvic floor weakness are not usually seen as a reason for a CS, even if the individual woman finds it pretty distressing and it has a significant impact on her life. You would need to argue your case very assertively IMO.

There is a thread on here for women who are requesting a CS after traumatic first birth. It's very informative and seems very supportive, I'll try and find a link.

Here is the thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/954494-Support-thread-for-those-of-us-who-are-requesting-an -

gone a bit quiet lately, but I'm sure people would help if you posted on it.

I had very similar issues to yours, though I was stitched up after birth by a consultant. Eventually managed to get a referral to her 8 months later after much chasing up on my part, and she was really sympathetic. I said there's no way I'd consider another child if I had to go through the same thing again, as it took months to heal and affected my bonding with DC. She promised I could have a CS next time (although she said she wouldn't recommend it) even though I have no continence problems or prolapses or anything like that, so it is possible.

Just knowing that I could have a CS has made me feel so much better, even though I'm still not sure I would actually go for it if there is another DC!