confused

[xXxstrikexXx]

im 19 weeks pregnant and this is my second child. ive got the same midwife as before an she said to me "this time i will have choices" i dont understand what she means by this. with my first child there was complications (shoulder dystoshia) an my son stopped breathing and his heart also stopped for about 4 minutes. i suffered with depresssion till my son was about one. he had to have a few check ups till he was one to make sure he was doing ok because he also suffered from a fit when he was born.i think this is why i didnt bond with him, i didnt want to get attached incase anything happened. im so scared that its goin to happen with this baby. i was induced at 38 weeks due to gestational diabeties an my son was big.i also suffer with ibs-d and hardly leave the house and im just feelin pretty ruff all the time. can any one tell me what you might think that my midwife meant when she said "this time i will have choices"

Well I don't really know but I assume she means that it looks like it will be a less complicated birth and so you can have more choices about where to give birth and how. I don't think you can be sure what she meant by that other than by asking her though.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time last time. Hugs.

thanks. ive text her a few times asking her but she aint replied. just confusin an worryin. some ppl think that it might mean i will be offered to be induced early again or maybe c/section but ill guess ill have to wait an see. thanks for reply xxx

She probably means that you will be more free to decide in this pregnancy - like how you want the birth to go, where you have the baby, what pain relief etc. Probably just being reassuring because you had such a difficult time last time. Check it out with her, but I really wouldn't worry!