Scared of the hospital and strange labour...don't want to go!!

[avariceandlatinos]

I've been in 'labour' since two days ago! Irregular contractions, occiput posterior baby so feels like someone is stabbing me in the back with a knife, don't have any support, just me on my own and i'm terrified, terrified i'm going to go into hospital and they'll take over. I just want to stay here where it's cosy and familiar. Rang the hospital, they didn't want me to go in to check anything as i've had a show but no waters breaking and as i said irregular contractions although they are getting more regular again as the evening comes on, why only at night??
Am i being foolish being scared of hospital given that my labour isn't 'straight forward' anymore? Can i tell them to leave me alone (i.e no epidural, no c-section) at their peril of being murdered by an overly emotional woman in labour (only kidding, but i like to be on my own when i'm in pain, all i want right now is to lock myself in the bathroom!!) Can i refuse internal examinations? If i refuse interventions is that going to make me look like a bad mother for 'not complying'?
I guess it's prob too late to ask for a home birth? It's not my due date yet. My mum wants me to go to the hospital because she's scared i'll need interventions because my labour isn't progressing, but she lives a long way away so she can't be here with me yet.

It's a midwifery led unit, they have birth balls and things in the room. Does this mean i'll get more of a say or not?

Oh you poor thing - You sound very stressed out .

From what you've said, it sounds like (other than the OP issue) your labour is still straight forward. If the hospital don't want you to go in, then stay at home as long as you can bear to.

OP labours (as you know) can take a while - most OP babies will turn before delivery(my dd did), but it could take a while.

Try to keep your strength up - Keep eating and drinking and sleep if/when you can.

There are some positions that you can use to help shift the baby round. some info here. Trying some of there might help you feel like you're 'doing something' without the need to go into hospital.

for you that you don't have any support. Do you have a friend that could come round to give some support for the evening? A worried mum is not very comforting company (I speak from experience!).

Good luck. Keep posting - I'm sure you'll get lots of support here.

Hi Avarice

Hope you're doing ok. In theory they should interfere less at a midwifery unit, but you can refuse anything you're not comfortable with, including drugs and examinations. There's no reason your labour will progress any quicker at hospital and if you go in and are not progressing there's a chance they might be keen to speed things up.

I think home is probably the best place for you at the moment - try and relax as much as you can, maybe have a bath.

If you really feel like you want a homebirth then you are entitled to one. Obviously the more notice they have the better, but you have a right to one. You can check out homebirth.org.uk for some more information if you're up to it.

I hope things go well for you, and remember this is your birth so don't worry about any hospital protocols - you're not their employee. I'm sure you don't have long to go one way or another - try not to be scared and remember your body knows how to do this. I know it's easier said than done, but if you're frightened and stressed it's only going to hinder your labour.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

hello, I write in sympathy - I now have 12 wk old son - and my labour was just like yours - all over the place with irregular contractions for 48 hours. The hospital is there to give you advice, they won't think you're being daft, over worried or anything - as I bet they'll deal with similar cases every day;)
I phoned up and, in my case, they didn't want me to go in until the contractions were regular and spaced 5 mins apart regularly. Prior to this I was having one contraction 4 mins apart and the next 10 mins apart.
Like you, the contractions tailed off in the day and got stronger (as you are feeling truly knackered!) at night.
Home is the best place for you at the moment. You're safe, you can relax have a bath, eat what you like, watch telly, watch ever makes you calmer and as comfortable as possible.
Its not too late to write a quick birth plan of anything you are concerned about. And don't be alarmed by the way you are feeling - this is natures way of you keeping safe in preparation to give birth. Instinct is good Don't worry about internal exams - I was very surprised how few there were...

How are you now? Are you still at home? xx