First baby and would like to avoid pain relief or am I being silly?

[mrswee]

Hi

I am 31 weeks pregnant just now and planning for a natural birth for my first baby.

However of course I have no experience of the pain I may endure and I am wondering if I am just setting myself up to be traumatised for the sake of being stubborn!!? I do have a couple of friends who are struggling to recover mentally from recent first births.

I know birth plans often go out the window and that I can always change my mind and scream for pain killers if I really need... but I'd like to try to be positive about at least attempting to do this.

But can people come and talk to me about their good experiences and give tips on how to cope through a first natural birth?

and also if anyone who went down this road and really regrets it and feels strongly enough to say I maycbe making a mistake please also speak up!

thanks in advance

"I think you need to give yourself to it completely, rather than think through it, and then you can do it."

Forgot to say that I really agree with this. I had this bizarre sense that I'd done it before, to the point that I knew he was imminent when the mw expected another few hours of labour. I can't explain it, but in my case I think the gas and air really helped, and not just in pain relieving terms - being that stoned meant I was acting totally instinctively. My brain was packed away and left on the side somewhere.

I do think though that some women are in so much pain they absolutely can't and shouldn't be expected to cope without analgesia; it depends completely on the individual. It's a lottery, but no reason in the world you won't be one of the people who does just fine with no or little pain relief. But if you do... there's no moral victory in it, either way. Just luck.

completely agree as well with whoever said it depends on a lot of factors. Luckily I didn't have the experience but a friend who gave birth at about the same time had a back to back baby with her hand in the air. I know some people would still give birth without drugs / intervention in that situation but I have no doubt that I wouldn't have done

Someone said earlier, knowledge is power, and thats true. I had a 14 hour labour and ventouse delivery with dd with just g&a. I got through it by using the breathing techniques we were taught in the antenatal classes by a physio and knowing that each contraction would peak and then the pain would start to ebb. As the contractions got more painful, longer and closer together I kept the image in mind as it does get harder to cope with. I also had my dh there who's neck I hung around for the duration, having someone who makes you feel safe will help enormously if your in a foreign environment like a hospital.

Just remembered that I found visualising each contraction like a wave in the ocean was helpful, as the pain gets worse your riding up the wave until you reach the peak and then you can enjoy (sort of) the ride down as the pain subsides. Corny I know but really effective. I was sailing all day long

Good luck

Gas and air is fantastic stuff. I had a reasonably quick labour both times, and g+a was all I needed. Perfectly happy. I could do with g+a on a regular basis tho - a bit now wouldn't go amiss...

Having said that, a set of "mum" friends I have who had babies the same time that I was having dd2, all of whom were on 3/4th plus dc, all went for epidurals, so I felt there was a collective voice of experience there!

Agree with what Aranea says about the importance of good support - preferably experienced and confident support. It makes a huge difference. It's what enabled me to get through a vewy, very long labour with a back to back baby, (needed syntocinon too)without needing anything more than a few whiffs of gas and air. Also - stay at home as long as you can.

I think it's important to have a 'less to more' approach to your birth plan, so you've thought about and accepted that things might not go to plan. I think it may help because until you have the baby you have no idea how it will turn out - hopefully it will be straightforward, but it is realistic to plan for if you need some pain relief. Accepting that there might be a need for pain relief or interventions might help accept it if that's what happens, but you've still put the more natural options down too, iyswim.

I've had two quick births, without pain relief beyond g&a, tens and birth pool (only tens for the second) and it a shock how intense it was. It helped knowing no contraction would be longer than 3 or 4 breaths, and that each one brought me closer to meeting my baby. I can see how a long labour in itself would mean you might need pain relief - it is tiring! I temember a midwife on the antenatal classes saying that the most inportant thing was that you, the mother, should be as relaxed as possible. This is true for a birth without pain-relief but also for if you then need some.

I do mean to say yes you can do it without pain relief, just have a backup plan so you don't beat yourself up if you end up needing some! I'd recommend some form of hypnobirthing - I did some for my second to help me find the 'zone' that I found by the end first time round.

I posted earlier about the hypnobirthing, meant to say that it's important to have a coping strategy even if you were sure you wanted an epidural because you can't have one from the first contraction! It's very sensible to think about this ahead of time, so many people don't and have a really hard time as a result. Just look at drug-free birth as one of your options rather than the 'best' one. Good luck!

I think you're very brave and not at all silly to try and do it naturally. I had my first baby 7 weeks ago (today) and it was a horrendous experience.

Unfortunately I had Gestational Diabetes so had to have intervention from the start as I was induced. The first epidural didn't work and had to be redone twice more, by which time, they needed to get the baby out so I ended up with Ventouse delivery.

So, if you can do it, definitely do, but if you end up having to be induced (my MW said that a large percentage of 1st babies have to be induced... not sure how true that is), you may well want something a bit stronger than G&A.

Good luck though - I hope that you get the experience that you want. But remember that the safe arrival of your baby is the most important thing!! xxx

Hi,

I only have DS who is now 8 months old.

My contractions started at 1 am, stayed at home til 6 am when I felt I had to go to hospital. Was 6cms on admission. I only had G&A for 20 mins or so before my waters broke and I started to push, didnt ask for it but took it when it magically appeared for me. It helped slightly and gave me a really dry throat but also felt slightly dizzy on it. DS born 3 hours after admission. I kept active throughout and the only time I wasnt standing was in car on way to hospital and on admission examination(only examination I had). I highly recommend being active in labour and finding a position you feel comfortable in. I found it helpful even with me having bad SPD requiring crutches to walk.

I had on my birth plan that as far as possible I wanted to only try G&A for pain but obviously I knew this was to be based on circumstances. Its important that you know things can and usually do change and accepting pain relief is not a sign of weakness, you get no medals for giving birth completely naturally. Do what is best for you when the time comes but please keep an open mind that your birth plan may change.

Good Luck

I was quite happy in labour with my first DC, but then chose to ask for an epidural when it was clear he was OP, stuck, and we needed a ventouse delivery. Even then the mws suggested I would have been OK with G&A - not sure why I didn't try that, but I didn't.

Mental prep: I told myself that whatever birth was like, it wouldn't go on for longer than 24 hours (I wasn't right there, but never mind!), and also that it would be like climbing a steep mountain - it may be very uncomfortable and hard work half way up, but generally you keep gping through the worst bit, to get to the top. I decided that the most important thing was not whether or not i ended up in hospital, or having pain relief etc, but that whatever did choose I would would do the choosing, based on advice.

What we did: Had a pool, and a TENS machince. i put the TENS on at the first twinge and used it thorughout until I got in the pool. Kept likfe normal - walked about, sat in garden, ate, cooked, talked on phone, for as long as apossible. kept upright - knelt on sofa leaning over the back during contractions. I breathed: and went 'uuuurgh' a lot, just to make breathing an activity in iteself, really, which was distracting!

With these techniques, I was honestly quite happy - yes, it was hard work, and uncomfortable, but not actually painful - but when it was pbvious to me that we really did need to tansfer to hospital, I panicked when i had to lie on my back for monitoring / ventouse, and it was suddenly painful (they had tried a drip to see if a bit of help would push DS out), and that's when I decided to ask for an epidural. And felt calm in that decision.

I hope everything goes well and easily

Thanks again for all your further responses!

DawnAS - Yes I totally agree, if I end up having to be induced then I have little doubt I will be accepting pain relief, from friends previous experiences of first baby inductions, it can be very difficult and much more intense. I am drinking my raspberry leaf tea and will be going for reflexology to try and avoid this, who knows if it will work but worth a try!!

I am of course not adverse to having pain relief if it is needed because I feel I can't cope any longer or the need for intervention to get my baby born safely.

My main reasons for considering trying for a natural birth are NOT to get any sort of medal or so that I can say to myself aren't I good! but really because I
A. I would prefer not, if at all possible, to be debilitated by having an epidural (my hospital are not keen on walking epidurals as they don't like you to move around after having one, so strapped to a bed it is!)
B. I would prefer not, if at all possible, to make my baby drowsy and discourage it from being able to latch on or get feeding.

I would like a home birth but I am a not 100% confident in my community midwife, so that would just worry me and then I would find it harder to relax. My house is very small and there isn't room for a pool. But I do intend to stay at home as long as possible.

Unfortunatly we don't have midwife led units in my area, there are building one in a couple of years ... but my hospital is quite in to natural births and have a seperate ward area of private rooms for that - although seem to be quick to intervene when things don't quite go to plan!

No pain relief for me but lots of visualisation and effective breathing techniques. You can practice these things now. Each time a contraction came I would 'go on a journey', getting further and further each time. I also did the whole 'visualise your cervix opening(like a flower )' thing. Your birth partner should know as much as you do about the right way to breathe so that they can guide you through it when you lose focus.

The pushing stage was the dfficult bit of labour for me and required a lot of effort to transfer the energy to the right place (i.e. not my face ). Again, visualisation really helped - there is a degree of 'yeilding' when giving birth, for me anyway. It hurts like hell but the pain is transient.

Remember, two baths a day in tea-tree oil (a few drops) for a few weeks afterwards and you'll be as good as new in no time. Good luck.

Oh, thedolly, you've reminded me of a really good tip my midwife gave me for the pushing stage. She told me to open my mouth as wide as I could and jam my whole fist in. The idea is that it stops you clenching your jaw which would in turn clench you up down below.

Anyway, OP, it sounds a bit bizarre (and my jaw hurt afterwards!) but I think it worked.

Not got time to read all the posts but in answer to your question, no I don't think you are being silly at all. I had dd1 in April and managed a 10 hour labour without pain relief (well I had 2 paracetemol and 2 codeine - but didn't feel that had any effect!) I had read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth which talked a lot about pain medication slowing things down and so I was determined not to take anything that would make the experience last longer....it does bloody hurt! Also I was very keen to stay upright and work with gravity etc which really helped. I had dreadful sickness right the way through the pregnancy so was paranoid that drugs would make me feel sick and throw up - another reason I refused to take anything. Amazingly I was not sick once - nor did I feel sick during the labour.

In the end I used a birthing pool at the hosp and I think this really helped with the pain. I also avoided any stitches and tears which I think was down to the water too.

Of course, all births are different and everyone has a different pain threshold but I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with going in with the attitude you'd like to avoid pain meds....also def read some Ina May if you haven't already.

Ps..I was concerned about drugs making baby not latch...well I shouldn't have worried, despite not taking anything we really struggled with the latch because she swallowed so much gunk on the way out she was so full of mucus she didn't want to feed from tap for ages (took colostrum from a cup). Thankfully we persisted and she eventually latched but it was really tough. Took a good 3 weeks before b/feeding got on track.

I'd say with birth/new baby try to go with the flow and expect the unexpected. I learned with my preg that things don't always go the way you'd think.

Haven't read all the posts so not sure if anyone has talked about Hypnobirthing, I did it with my DC3, it was absolutely fab, I felt really in control and calm so much so that when I rang the hospital the midwife didn't believe I was in labour and threatened to report me to her supervisor for refusing to come in (I was meant to be going in to be induced that day, but I had been booked for a home birth). Really great for the pregnancy too, felt generally really calm as I was practising my relaxation techniques most days (only 25 mins listening to my iPod). I went on a course with DH, it was the Mongan method.
My labour was short (less than 3 hours), no stitches, a bit of gas & air at the end (he had a large head - 37cm)and an extremely calm chilled baby. I would heartily recommend it.

I had DD with no pain relief whatsoever, and I am the worlds biggest wimp, but it was manageable until the last 10/15 minutes before she was born.
I also had a sick labour, but when it got to the point where i didnt think i could handle it anymore, (and even at the end, there was always a break between contractions where i felt no pin at all) it was almost over.

I'd play it by ear if i was to have another.

you're not being silly at all - you're trying to do what's best for your baby which is great. I have had 2 natural births with only gas and air and they were doable and I'm glad I didn't have any other pain relief.

I wouldn't attempt it without the Gas and Air though

i think it is important to note that your attitue to pain is important and affects how you experience it.

85% of americans have epidurals. No doubt they believe they are necessary.
almost no Netherlands ladies have more than gas n air...no doubt they are mostly happy with this too.

obviously the attitude in the Netherlands makes natural birthing more possible, they also believe it is bearable (so it is bearable). also 50% homebirths..best long & short term outcomes in Europe (i might add)

it is also possible that giving birth geuininely is more painful in the USA as they make women labour on their backs, induce at +1 week as a matter of routine, heavily medicalised approach (wrong. wrong. wrong.!)

the midwife you see at appointments may well not be the one that turns up on the day (they have time off you know)
mine was very anti home birth and I was glad someone else turned up. In retrospect, If I got her again, i'd probably ask to see someone else.

I actually opted against a pool because it would inhibit movement also....(and didnt want to have to fanny around with filling it whilst in labour)

You have never been in labour before, best advice - go with what your body tells you to do, once you are actually in labour.

You might find that you need no pain relief whatsoever or you find that your new best friends are Mr Gas and Air!

Have a birth plan but accept that it might change, hopefully it won't, but that the end result will always be the same, no matter what happens.

My 2 births were quite different. Both with tens and g&a. The first was long and the contractions where long and blurred into each other. The second labour was short with distinct contractions, where I felt fine in between. Both times the pain was bearable. It's a very intense feeling where your whole body tenses and you have to really concentrate to relax yourself. Not the same as a chop your leg off type of pain (I would imagine). The end bit when the head comes out is a different pain again and to say it smarts is an understatement but it's over with very quickly.
Whenever I lay down it was far more painful ie drive to hospital. Hence a home birth for the second. So I really recommend an exercise ball to lean on (about 5 quid from argos). Did my whole 2nd birth from start to finish on all 4s leaning on the ball.
State of mind really makes a difference. during my 2nd birth I felt more confident in my own ability to do it and less scared, feel this really helped. Good luck.

I tell a lie I forgot I also had pethadine during my 1st birth. Had been labouring for 12hrs and they moved me from a birth centre to hospital because they where worried I hadn't progressed from 6cm during that time. It allowed me to sleep for a few hours so that when I woke I was ready to go again. I have to admit I really enjoyed it sent me into a very relaxed doze.

I think an open mind is probably the best way to approach labour. Swotting up on options sounds like a good plan but there is nothing wrong with having an aim in mind.

I have had two labours with G&A. With the first I used a TENS machine at home which was good for feeling as though I was doing something to help but not much use after that....seeing as I left it home when we went to hospital. My first labour was 19 hours fom first contraction to birth and i used the G&A for the last 6 hours, but not during pushing.

My second labour was much shorter and although it started gently at home (without me knowing) it was brought on by my waters being broken in hospital. It was 3 hours start to finish and I used G&A all the way, apart from pushing again.

I asked to go in the birthing pool during 1st labour but it was in use so no luck there.

I had an aromatherapy pack applied to my back during the 1st labour. I liked this and wanted it with my second but couldn't bear to turn over so instead DH massaged my calf with some lovely oil concoction. I can't say it helped with anything much but felt and smelt divine and gave DH something constructive to do

Good luck

Hi,

I too am pregnant for the first time, am 21 weeks and have decided I want a natural birth with no pain relief (although fully accepting I may have to resort to it if needs be).

A girl at my work is pregnant also and took great delight in telling me I wouldnt be able to do it, an epidural was the way forward and that she would show me some real life 'traumatic' natural births to see what I was letting myslef in for!!!

Am trying to keep myself mentally positive and steering clear of the horror stories so appreciated reading all the threads on this topic! Fingers crossed!