How to get the consultant to agree to induction at 39weeks - help please

[QueenFee]

I feel really nervous about this appointment tomorrow.
The history is that I have had 2 3rd degree tears - DD 8lb 10 and 40+4 and DS 8lb 6 at 39 weeks.
As I have had a history of tearing I don't want to go past 39 weeks as this baby could be bigger and I don't want any permenant problems.
I had a meeting with the registrar last week who basically dismissed me saying that the second was a 2nd degree tear (not what I was told and felt at the time [hmmm] and never mentioning the episio I also had)
She said the only thing they would do is give me a sweep at 39 weeks and induce me before 40 +7.
This really isn't that much different to normal and at 40+7 surely this baby could be fairly large considering my history (and that both mine and DH's family have a history of 10+lbers)
I have now requested a second opinion after bursting into tears about it with my lovely MW. So I have an appointment to see the consultant tomorrow morning but I am terrified.
Please help me put it together in my head so I feel confident to get the birth I want.

I had a friend who had an elective cesearean because of previous bad tear (though I don't know HOW bad the tear was). I'm not sure that induction would help - have you been induced before?

if your last tear was at 39 weeks, I can't see that an induction at 39 weeks is going to prevent a tear if your baby is big. Induced deliveries have a higher incidence of tears, IIRC, as it all happens too quickly, and the tissues don't get a chance to stretch gradually. If you really want to avaoid a tear, I would go for an elective section- Consultant is more likely to agree to that, I would think.

I wouldn't bother with the induction I would be asking for a c sec, the people I know who had 2 x 3rd degree tears were told to have c secs as the risk of another 3rd degree tear and permanent damage were very high?

I think you need to look at your notes thoroughly and discuss the problems the tears epis gave you?

DD was natural and DS an induction. Basically I am going to tear whatever, I have accepted this and would prefer it but what I don't want to happen is for the tear to be even bigger. I haven't had any problems as such with the tears but I am so aware of how easily it could cause me problems this time.

meant I would prefer to tear than have a c-section

The other route to go might be to hire a doula - it sounds like you need someone who can really coach you to SLOW DOWN at the crucial moment, and in my experience my midwife was crap at this! But then I was being induced...

My first child, dd, was only 6 pounds 10 oz. Born on her due date. Second degree tear.

DS was nearly 8 pounds, a week late. Second degree tear.

My tear from dd was much worse than ds's tear. Also was poorly stitched which led to me have a fenton's procedure when she was 7 months. So essentially, when ds was born had a healed tear and a healed episiotomy. But was fine.

Not sure what advice I'm giving really, apart from to suggest that there are no definites about tearing. Have you been doing perineal massage? I did, but not especially enthusiastically, with ds. In hindsight, I think the reason I tore with him was because was a precipitous 2 and a half hour labour and I pushed in an upright position, so was very quick and my perineum didn't have time to stretch. With dd I had an epidural and just pushed like crazy and so I was disconnected from the crowning sensation that at least gave me slight pause with ds.

I suppose my concern with inducing a week early is that if the baby simply isn't ready to be born yet, quite definite intervention might be required to get him/her shifted and you might be more likely then to be in birthing position and have pain relief (i.e. epidural) that would make tearing more likely.

Both of my labours followed exactly the same pattern - the induction didn't feel any different. I had Pethidine for both as they were both long labours.
I am not prepared to risk a natural birth I don't think at 40 + weeks so will be considering C-section if they won't agree to induce.