sex after forceps

[WildeRose]

I gave birth 8 weeks ago, had forceps and episiotomy. I look and feel awful down under. I feel like I have no vagina any more. I am afraid to have sex as I am afraid I will have no sensation and that my body is just a gaping whole.

Help!

It is very early days. Have you been referred to an obstetric physiotherapist?

No

When should you be healed by?

Ok thanks

Hi

As others have said don't worry. I would say 6 months ish to be healed and have only just started to feel confident again 2 years on. But don't panic, that was purely because I was reluctant to experiment and we tended to stick to the same positions as before which really didn't work any more as they rubbed my scar (sorry tmi!) it took me ages to realise that it was the positions that were at fault and not me, so when you feel ready have fun experimenting

Gosh that's a long time. I am amazed anyone manages to ever have more than one child! (or wants to :-0)

So there are some positions you can no longer enjoy? :-(

I had a ventouse birth, and an episiotomy. Sex was painful the first few times (if I remeber rightly we left it until about 5 weeks after the birth) and was still uncoomfortable for many months. All healed now though

Sorry, didn't mean to make you worry or .
Like I said, most of it was purely down to my state of mind and you were sounding similar to how I felt for ages so didn't want you to think that it would never get better, even if it was longer than 6 months. Also to point out that I noticed it soooo much more than DH who was mainly concerned about the fact that I didn't seem to enjoy myself as much (again due to state of mind).

But yes, unfortunately the (i'm knackered & can't be arsed to put in much effort) missonary position is now null and void. But I'm sooo much happier now that I've realised this and have found some brand new favourites!

I'm also expecting DC2 in Jan if that also makes you feel better.

Again sorry to make you go

Thanks so much for messages x

My first was a forcep delivery. They cut me and I had 2nd degree tear. I couldn't even stand up or sit down without putting my hand between my legs!!!!
We had sex again quite quickly, and although it was quite uncomfortable, it was fine, and when I started to relax, I actually quite enjoyed it.

Ds2 is now 14 weeks, and again, we had sex quite quickly, this time I just had tears, no cut and it was a 'normal' delivery.

Pelvic floor exercises will increase the blood floww to the area and will help with the healing.
Don't rush into anything though, just do it all when you feel ready.
Talk to your dh/p and make sure he understands your worries and concerns.
You don't have to have actual intercourse, there are many things you can do to re-ignite your physical relationship and ease back into it gently.

yes please don't rush it
i was a right mess for months after 1st delivery but can say that imo everything was pretty much back to normal IN THE END
give it time