shoulder dystocia

[heverhoney1]

I was wondering if anyone else had experience of this.

I had my little girl 2 weeks ago and she got stuck. I am very lucky that she has suffered no ill effects (appart from what I believe are bad dreams). I sufffered a third degree tear, an episiotomy and several other tears which needed to be stiched.

I believe that dispite the trauma I have bonded very well with my baby but I am still quite emotionally distanced from what happened during the birth. During it all I was trying to reassure my partner and was very calm - very unlike me at the best of times!!! I feel irrationally guilty for stressing out my partner, my baby and my family.

I dont have exactly the same experience as you. DD1 was induced then a very long painful labour followed by Ventouse delivery. I thought that I had bonded well and everything was great.
I now know otherwise. I have another DD and have a 7 month DS. My experience with both of my younger children is completely different. Both much better.

I would suggest that you contact the midwife unit and ask for a debrief of your birth. They will go through your notes and help you to understand what happened and why. It will be all for you. It will help you deal with a very traumatic experience.
May I also suggest you take baby to a chiroprator or oesteopath specialising in babies. It will be good for both of you to be seen.

Congratulation on the safe delivery of your baby. Enjoy just being together and most of stop feeling guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Congratulations! DC1 got stuck too due to shoulder dystocia but luckily she came out kicking and screaming. Nearly 4 years on, I don't remember much but my husband thinks of it as one of the worst experiences of his life. I was monitored throughout my second pregnancy and had a doctor and 2 midwives present at the birth od DC2 because of my experience with DC1 (hospital's idea not mine!). Had to be induced again and it was very quick but again had its problems. I found this more traumatic as I had flashbacks to the birth of DC1 when DC2 went into distress etc. Maybe talking through birth 1 would have helped?

I would agree with ronshar and suggest a visit to a cranial osteopath to check you and baby out. DC1 became much more settled after her trauma!

Thank you! Out if curiosity why do you think baby needs to see an oesteopath?

I really dont think bonding is an issue. I Dont think it is possible to love her any more or feel any luckier to have her. She is the most beautiful thing in the world even though she needs constant cuddles because of her restless sleeping.

An oesteopath/chiropractor will realign both baby and you.
The passage through the birth canal causes the skull to compress, which is how it is designed to work, sometimes the skull takes along time to open up again. Especially in a traumatic birth the baby can be pushed and pulled in all kinds of directions.
A couple of treatments will almost certainly help to settle your DD. Good for sleep problems as well.

How great for you that your relationship with your beautiful daughter has not been affected. You are very lucky. Like I said before, you really do not have anything to feel guilty about.