What do you ask a doula?

[Tamlin]

We're supposed to be interviewing one tonight, but I'm running on a scant three hours of sleep thanks to DS so my brain is just so much scrambled eggs. I've already asked about fees and how many times she'd meet with me beforehand over the phone, but does anyone have any other suggestions?

Basically, I had a traumatic birth with DS, and I'm desperate to avoid the same thing again - I'm hoping the doula might help make up for understaffed and bitchy midwives either not being around or ignoring me when they were...

I have not done this but I would have thought that of utmost importance is that you like her and feel comfortable having her around/relying on her when you are in labour. I would just try to keep conversation going so I could get a feel for her and her style, and whether she would provide what I am after in a doula.

Do you want someone to be a really strong advocate for you or do you want someone to provide care, reassurance and practical help when you are in labour? Once you have decided that it might help you decide what questions to ask.

So to start I might go over my previous labour and see what kind of things she says about that. What is her experience? Does she have any experience in the hospital you are going to? What kind of practical labour support things would she do for you? Has she been in any tricky situations when she has really had to fight hard for a woman's wishes? Has she encountered antagonism from the healthcare providers - how does she feel about that? I think that would all keep you talking for a long while.

Very good luck, I hope she is perfect for you.

I knew within a few minutes who was right for me and who wasn't. I think to be honest the questions are irrelevant, but there is a massive list on the Doula UK website of all the possible questions you could think of.

Whereabouts are you I've got at least 3 people I would recommend?

Wiltshire.

Oh can't help you there - hope you find the right one for you.

Depending on which part of Wiltshire, I know someone on Wilts/Dorset border.

I'm a doula - agree hugely with Picante. What matters most of all is that you click with your doula and feel completely a ease with her and your partner too! you are after all going to share a wonderful, intimate event with her!

I do think you will know pretty instantly TBH, I know which clients will hire me within a few minutes too (and which ones won't). Some questions you might ask:

Why did you decide to be a doula?
What do you see your role as being?
What would you do during my birth?
What won't you do?
Do you have experience of working with women with a previous traumatic experience?
What is your idea of a "perfect birth" (be wary if she has a fixed idea - the best answer he could give here is something like "there's no such thing, it's what matters to the individual woman")
How do you feel about hospital birth? homebirth? epidural? C-Section? Induction? (see if she is on your wavelength and not terribly anti or pro).
Have you worked at xyz hospital before? what sort of reception did you get? (can often indicate more about her).

Good luck!