Total mental blok with writing birth plan - suggestions or firm kick up the bum needed

[norktasticninja]

I'm nearly 35 weeks pregnant with DC2 and am hoping to have a home water birth. My doula strongly recommends writing a birth plan and TBH I agree, I just have no idea where to begin. I've got a total mental block.

I don't know if I should 'plan' for worst case scenarios (transfer to hospital / CS) or just stick with 'planning' for the birth I want.

I didn't have a birth plan last last time and I'm not sure it would have made that much difference really. I'd certainly never have thought to include anything that would have made a difference in the situation(s) that arose. I was really let down by my midwife (and mum too) and I think I had far to much trust in the Dutch system, but I guess that's beside the point...

Please help, I'm really running out of time

dont worry norktasticninja. iv got a blank mind every day your pregnant you have a reason.i think mines insanity have you decided whether you are going to breast/bottle feed?

Sent

Excellent spicemonster - I'll have a look now

Ash83 - I hope it all does come to me suddenly (and very soon) I really feel like I'm cutting it fine

I don't think I could possibly be more blank, 'tis ridiculous. Planning a weeks meals takes me a whole morning at the moment...

I'm going to BF, at least I'm assuming I'll BF. I managed to with DD despite her being whisked away immediately and the baby unit making it practically impossible. It all went a bit pear shaped as I entered the second trimester of this pregnancy though.

I think my birthplan was the best read one in the hospital!! They gave us guidelines to write to
Who do you want present (I put DH, but if, by chance he was unable to attend, I chose George Clooney- this ensured lots of mw's attending when I arrived, all proclaiming their disappointment that DH had made it from the other end of the country after all )

Monitoring (I asked to able to move around and didn't want to be attached to lots of monitoring devices in case I felt the need to run away!)

Pain relief (I informed them that they would probably find me a far nicer person after G&A, so to feel free to give me some when I started snarling. I said I would prefer not to have an epidural, but in the event I ended up weeping and begging, to feel free to ignore all previous decisions I made while NOT in writhing agony)I also mentioned that I would like to use the pool for pain relief- they need a chance to fill it, so good if they know in advance.

Also mentioned that DH probably wouldn't want to cut the cord, as he's not too good with things like that, and may turn green and keel over (but George, of course, having bona fide medical training in the ER would be welcome to do the deed) And that after the baby was out I was happy to have direct skin to skin. And that I was fine with an assisted delivery of the placenta, Vit K inj'n for the baby etc.

I did mention calving jacks, and summed up that I would prefer a pain-free, smooth, speedy birth, but would settle for getting it out in the most practicable way possible!

Also positions for labour, apologies in advance for language/ mooing, and a detailed description of how I like my toast and tea!

Am still amazed at how much of a celebrity I was after mentioning George Clooney as a joke, but it made sure my birthplan got circulated and every single mw read it!

i loved bf my two have just stopped completly with my ds2.we had the same with scbu.in the end i had to shout that if my son was feeding from a bottle he coud feed from me then really made sure they understood he was MY son.

That's fantastic spicemonster. Thanks again.

ROLF jooly! I don't think my written Dutch is up to that level of comedy, it sounds like a fab idea though

Thanks one and all. I think I might actually be able to get cracking once I've slept on it...

It's ridiculous how they try to take total ownership of the baby isn't it? Shocking really. I had to give them a telling off on more than one occasion too.

Luckily DD was only in for 3 or 4 days, it must be so hard in a longer term situation.

ds was in for 5 weeks had to have an op and i felt so useless. luckily everything is finethey told me he would be a slow developer but wev had no problems.

How old is your DS2 now ash? Were you automatically offered counseling after such a traumatic birth and first few weeks? I've heard it can be really very helpful.

Blimey, that sounded really patronising didn't it. Sorry, it wasn't meant to

ds2 is now 5 mths old.i have bonded better with him i think because he didnt go scbu.ds1 i suffered bad postnatal depression with so had counselling.it didnt really help he has a stronger bond with dh.all i would do for him is feed him any time he cried dh would see to him.it makes me feel guilty now but at the time i thought he was oing to die so didnt want to bond then lose him if that makes sense

Oh you poor thing I totally understand what you mean about not daring to bond, although our situation was much less serious. Maybe you could get your hands on a better counselor if you asked again? It sounds like it's something that still hurts you.

its more that now my 3yo tells me he only loves dady.hes a monster but a fantastic little boy.sometimes you just wish you could get that time back but you never will.i do believe it has seriously affected our relationship though so now every month we have a mummy son day where its just the two of us and we do something he likes like swimming,cinema etc.its nice

It sounds like you're doing really well, the days together sound like a great plan Don't rule out having some more counseling at a later date though. I had some in my early 20s for some childhood stuff, but it was the second lot I had years later had that did the trick. I think it was that extra bit of distance.

Off to bed now, see you around!