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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

sex after episiotomy

16 replies

Ginga66 · 01/05/2009 01:59

I gave birth a month ago with ventouse and episiotomy, rushed ER type experience in the end.Early on I looked 'down below' and wished I had not; made fatal mistake of asking DH to and he was shocked. Now we are both nervious about prospect of sex.
Two questions...
I can see a lot of vaginal wall, looks busy down there and DH put off, does it get better?
And hpow long to wait for sex?

OP posts:
SOLOisMeredithGrey · 01/05/2009 02:11

You have to really work those pelvic floor muscles. My Dd is now 28mos and I still have the problem you have described. If you see your GP, they can refer you to a specialist nurse who can advise you. They are very good ~ unfortunately, I'm not so good at doing the exercises...good job there's no one waiting to get close to me IYSWIM.

Original poster
Ginga66 · 03/05/2009 05:22

Tahnks Meredith... what does your use name mean exactly???
Tried having sex last night and he was quite alarmed, said it felt cold and he was scared of busting my stitches. Why are men such pussies???? LOL

OP posts:
SOLOisMeredithGrey · 03/05/2009 11:50

LOL! Solo is my usual name, but I love Greys Anatomy and a description that Meredith Grey gave of herself struck a chord with me and she is how I am, so I(temporarily)became SOLOisMeredithGrey. Like a recognition of ones self IYSWIM?

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 03/05/2009 11:51

At least he was considerate of you Gina. So many men aren't.

littleboyblue · 03/05/2009 11:58

I didn't actually look down there after my cut because all my mirrors are quite big (I am that vain.......not really) and I couldn't get my legs positioned right to be able to see iykwim without sharing TMI!
I felt though, and it did not feel too good. I asked dp to have a look and he told me I was disgusting . We had sex for the first time after just over 2 weeks, little uncomfortable, but fine. I enjoy sex alot more post having children than I did before, not sure why as it hurt to do PLE so I didn't do any

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 03/05/2009 12:21

What's PLE lbb?

littleboyblue · 03/05/2009 13:24

Whoops, hit the wrong letter. I meant PFE (pelvic floor). I really should start proof-reading

CoteDAzur · 03/05/2009 14:48

You are very brave (1) trying sex four weeks after episiotomy, and (2) looking at the cut & stitches. I did neither.

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 04/05/2009 00:11

Phew! thought I was slipping just then!!!

sophieandbelly · 04/05/2009 17:09

i had terrible trouble after episiotomy, stitches re-torn wen i went to the loo (after 4 weeks!!) got infected etc. think they also stitched me up to tight. didnt even attempt sex till she was 8 weeks old, that did go to well!

but its still very fresh in both ur minds,
its a traumatic experiance for the bloke to iam sure, just take it slow and before u no it things will feel back to normal, if ur wanting to have sex after 4 weeks then thats a good sign!!

Moosy · 04/05/2009 17:16

I was still bleeding for 6 weeks after having DD1 (very similar sounding to your birth story ginga) so obviously sex was off was that long, I think I was still uncomfortable until she was about 3 months old though, we had to be very gentle and at the slightest bit of ouch we'd stop so as not to aggrivate things.

As for the slightly 'inside-out' look, I didn't look like that until after I'd DD2, I went to the GP who said I had a rectocile and I'd need surgery, but the consultant at the hospital said it wasn't that bad and to wait a year (doing lots of exercises!) and see what happens.

DH hasn't really noticed a lot of difference in how things feel, although he does say I look like I've been fish-hooked - nice!

Bucharest · 04/05/2009 17:19

I first had sex (and v painful it was too) about 4 mths after mine. It continued to be painful for a good few months after that- probably because I was so tense it became a vicious circle.
Am still v cross no-one asked my permission before getting the scissors out.

Celery · 04/05/2009 17:24

The actual episiotomy was stitched well and healed quickly with no pain. However the scar tissue was very sensitive for a long time afterwards. Was absolutely fine day to day, I couldn't feel it at all, but sex was very painful for about seven months after the birth. Went on to have two more babies with no episiotomy afterwards, and haven't had any problems with the scar since.

sophieandbelly · 04/05/2009 17:33

thats good to hear as the stitches r one of the main fears for me next time round, its been 19months and could still make me shudder wen i think bout it, did the midwife talk to u both it in ur 2nd preg?

Original poster
Ginga66 · 07/05/2009 07:42

Well finally had proper sex 5 weeks after baby born and was bit uncomfortable but very nice none the less. Thank God for that!

OP posts:
nct73 · 19/05/2009 21:15

my scar got infected when i had to go into the childrens hospital on day 4 for DD to be treated for jaundice and parent shower not working. took a while to heal. cant remember how long before trying sex. was uncomfortable first few times. not fully relaxed as nervous of hurting or tearing so prob didnt help. but definitely got back to feeling good after a few times.

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