TMI... sex after childbirth

[mum2b09]

Hi all sorry if this is TMI but i just wanted to see if i was alone in the way im feeling...

I had my beautiful DD just over 5 weeks ago and my DH cant wait until wer can have sex again but im really aprehensive.

During the birth a tore a little nothing major but its left me looking abit defferent downstairs. Im really worried that sex will hurt or not feel the same for us (mostly worried it wont feel the same for him) as DD wasnt exactly a small baby lol.

She was my first baby and i just dnt know what to expect or how long i should wait.

Any advice?

Don't look down there, and do your PFEs!

Also don't go all the way until you're comfortable with it. It will be different.

My only rule for this (for myself) is do what you want when you want.

If you feel ready then go for it, but may I suggest a couple of glasses of wine to relax, and lubricant as you may be a bit dryer than normal downstairs.

If you're not ready then wait, if you're feeling really generous offer DH an 'alternative' whilst he is waiting for the whole shebang.

I was very anxious too, Had a traumatic delivery but healed well.
I think pressure to have sex after birth is inconsiderate, although I understand he might be keen( imo better that than him not wanting it because you have given birth)

To put your mind at rest wait til your 6 week check, then you know all is practically ok.

How about you suggest to DH that you start with a few sessions of foreplay only, and ease yourself in gently so to speak.

Congratulations on becoming a Mum BTW

Oh, and my DD1 was 9lb 14oz, sex was still amazing for both of us afterwards

Yup just wanted to add as bratnav said that I probably actually enjoy it more now than before - definitely more orgasms since having ds than before. I was just the same as you though about worrying that it would still feel good for him, but doesnt seem to have affected things for him in a bad way either.

relax, have some wine, and you can always keep the lights dim for the first few times if you dont want him looking down there to start with until you feel confident again.

After both my ds's were born, me and dp had sex around about 2/3 weeks after. Ds1 was a forcep baby so I had a cut and a tear. I remember feeling really nervous about it incase it hurt, but I spoke to my dp about it all, told him not to expect too much and obviously we'd stop if it was too much.
It was uncomfortable for a while, but was fine.
I'd recommend you use a lubricant though just to make sure everything is 'smooth'
After ds2, it wasn't uncomfortable at all, was fine.
Also remember you are apparently at your most fertile now (so says my mw) so remember to use some form of birth control.

Oh, and don't do anything you're not ready for.

I had a caesarean and I (well, we) still waited 3mths to resume. I didn't feel in the least bit sexy, was knackered and was also worried about peeing myself due to not ever doing the pelvic exercises!

Do your pelvic floors while you're having sex. Everyone wins!

I wanted sex a week after birth because I was worried I may not be the same/attractive but my dp refused till I had 6 week check I tried everything. But I am really glad he waited. Gave me chance to get everything back into shape. There were no probs after 6 weeks. But I wouldn't try if your are not yet ready as being tense may cause pain.