What do you wish someone had done for you just after you'd had your baby?

[FrenchLimeBlossom]

Hi ladies, first time poster, long time reader , hopeful first time TTC'er as well , and completely surrounded by friends who are popping out babies left right and centre .

I want to do something really nice for each of my girlfriends other than just my usual White Company/Jo Malone combo, so thought I would ask - when you look back on the period post-childbirth, say for the first few months, is there something you wish you had received as a gift, been able to do, or had happened around you that would have made life easier? Or what gift or little luxury did you receive that was totally invaluable?

I know not all women are the same and what might be excellent for one might end up being dreadful for another, but wondered if there might be any common themes? Also especially from those women who have had more than one baby, is there anything you realise second time around that would have been superb to have had first time?

Thanks in advance! Am attempting to put a bit more thought in as it is coming home to me that I might be going through all this myself some time soon......

a small book of babysitting 'promises' might be a good idea too.

The first friend that I got the cleaning 'voucher' for told EVERYONE what a fab pressie I'd bought her! Having a cleaner would be better than a friend coming to clean I think.

I use my posh friends regular cleaner. She made some little voucher thingies on her computer and does a good trade with them, and is constantly thanking me for the idea! PLUS MOST IMPORTANTLY if any of the new mummy cleans turns into a new regular job for her, I get a a complimentary two hour clean

I'd have loved someone to bring me round something nice to eat, cook it or heat it for me and hold DD while I ate. Preferably something insanely calorific. Fish pie with loads of cream in the sauce or roast potatoes with cold meat and gravy or a huge curry.

I wanted to someone to come in, take all my washing away and bring it back clean, dry, ironed and in nice neat piles

Seriously - ring up local cleaning companies and get a quote for a good clean, and then pay for someone to go round and clean the place from top to bottom (or do it yourself).

wish someone had given me a number for a decent BFing counsellor. Had a bloody nightmare which started with idiot nurse telling me how painful cracked nipples were whilst clearly having not a scooby how to show HER PATIENT how to help baby latch on properly. Early weeks were hideous and emotional and I'm sure they'd have been easier with better help.

I see there is a food theme evolving! My closest gang of local friends always arrange a meal-rota for delivering food fresh at supper time to whichever of us is the latest newly-extended family.
Friends brought me fresh fruit into hospital, which I always now take friends rather than flowers, as nice soft bowel movements are helpful after painful labours!

It is lovely to get things for the baby which you wouldn't be able to justify purchasing yourself, such as Petit Bateau newborn things like Vaguely suggests, or monsoon little girls clothes. If I'm taking a gift for the baby I always take something for the older siblings. (My top tip to mums about to have their 2nd is to keep a stock of little wrapped gifts near the front door, so big brother/sister can always get something at the same time as new baby does.)

For my friends/family members who are on very tight budgets I always ask if there is something I can get. Often there is something specific that they would love but can't quite justify/afford.

Am about to give birth to baby no 2 and thinking about it, I would def second the cleaner idea. I would love for someone to come in and do that as am too big and too tired to do it all now. Or the beauty salon vouchers - another excellent idea. Baby always gets loads of gifts - its lovely to have a pressie for the new mum too! And pampering ..hmmm.. just what you need after pregnancy and birth.

What a lovely thread to have started by the way! Wish you were my friend!!!!

One thing that surprised me in the first few months was how much my hands suffered - all the extra hand-washing after nappy changes or when sterilising breastpump etc meant they got really cracked and uncomfortable. So a small thing that would have been really nice is some really good handcream and maybe some non-drying handwash - ideally, more than one so I could cream my hands every time I washed them whether upstairs or downstairs!

Apart from that, mostly practical help I think, and people to talk to.

Wow - thanks for all the replies, am really grateful for the input. Sounds as though I'd better get my apron on and start making several huge pans of lasagne or cottage pie to freeze.

I had never thought of it properly before, always just thought something nice for baby and something luxe for mummy would be nice. Odd how imagining yourself going through it all makes subtle differences in the way you approach pregnancy and birth!

In the past I have done a couple of of 'let me hold her for a bit and you go and have a shower or something', and have been known to chuck a few things in the washing machine but never really got as far as offering to hoover or cook - not that many of my girlfriends have popped yet - 2009 appears to be the year for it. Will definitely try some of these suggestions though: voucher book for babysitting sessions is ace!

What a great and v useful source of inspiration MNetters are

My mum cleaned my house from top to bottom when I had my dd1 - then she would pop around each day and take the washing away, bring it back washed and ironed. When she brought it back she would hoover and clean up then slip of again as if she had never been their

My requests from my husband are pate, smoked salmon and white wine.
I dont have smoked salmon and pate regular but when i know i cant have them during pregnancy its all i want.
My lovely neighbour done my washing and ironing for me and the parents and inlaws brought lunch and dinners.
They also take the older 2 for a day out.
youl generally find its the smaller things like cooking and cleaning and general help which is much appreciated than the overly big gestures.

Hmmmm....

Ask before visiting! My MIL arrived on the ward having evaded my sister, who was trying to control my visitors, only to cop a huge eyeful of my boobs as I tried to get DD to latch on for only the 3rd time!

Food, yummy homemade high starch food!

Cleaning the house, my hubby decorated for my return (2 weeks before xmas) and I was so overawed by the amount of 'stuff' and dropped bit of tinsel I nearly had a breakdown!

NO FLOWERS if you know they have hayfever!! Somehow everyone forgot I was allergic and I spent the next 3 days trying to be grateful for things that were making me itch/sneeze (ouch with stitches!!)

Peace and Quiet, if baby is sleeping let mummy sleep too!!!!!!!

xxx

My friends turned up with a load of yummy things from M&S, got all the plates and cutlery out, set all the food out, did the washing up and went away again. I loved them very much for that

Asked if I was ok...I wasn't, I had a horrible birth which i was constantly haunted by. Guilt at not feeling 100% overjoyed stopped me talking to anyone. I think though if someone had taken the time to ask me about how I felt and about the birth I would have spoken about it and then prevented the bottling up and huge issue it eventually became.

Every year on her son's birthday, my friend remembers and raves and thanks me for what I did while she was in the hospital.

I watched her little girl so she and her husband could have some time alone in the hospital, cleaned their house, and made a lasagne that they could just pop into the oven when they got home.

It's weird, I barely remember doing it, but my friend has never forgotten!

I second NO FLOWERS! Not to sound ungrateful but too many get in the way and you cant possibly appreciate them all.

Box of chocolates was greatly appreciated - easy to snack on!

£20 for a takeaway a far far nicer gift than it sounds

Check with home made food that you make something you know they like, rather than what you like!

ur a lovely friend!

one of my friends brought me a massage voucher at a very posh spa, ok so i didnt use it for 2 months, but that was lovely.

and wen my sis came round, she washed up and sterralised all bottles, and did a wash load, that almost made me cry, nice not to have to ask, as i felt i kept saying to OH please do this and that, a woman just gets on eh!