What do you wish someone had done for you just after you'd had your baby?

[FrenchLimeBlossom]

Hi ladies, first time poster, long time reader , hopeful first time TTC'er as well , and completely surrounded by friends who are popping out babies left right and centre .

I want to do something really nice for each of my girlfriends other than just my usual White Company/Jo Malone combo, so thought I would ask - when you look back on the period post-childbirth, say for the first few months, is there something you wish you had received as a gift, been able to do, or had happened around you that would have made life easier? Or what gift or little luxury did you receive that was totally invaluable?

I know not all women are the same and what might be excellent for one might end up being dreadful for another, but wondered if there might be any common themes? Also especially from those women who have had more than one baby, is there anything you realise second time around that would have been superb to have had first time?

Thanks in advance! Am attempting to put a bit more thought in as it is coming home to me that I might be going through all this myself some time soon......

I wish somebody had cleaned the house before I got home from hospital. DH was apparently too busy visiting us and catching up on sleep!

A rain cover for the pushchair - DS1 was born in summer and we didn't have one initially. Poor little thing got rained on the first time we went for a walk!

Other than that extra hours in the day and reinforced nipples.

Oh and welcome to MN - may your posts be many and you are never BU.

A wet nurse
Seriously- ds had tongue-tie, and I was in agony until bf counsellor helped me out.

Seriously though (and do-able) - good tasty wholesome nutricious home-cooked food in huge quantities!

I was SO hungry, dh just spent the whole first 2 weeks (for both children) feeding me so that I could feed them.
Constantly supplying drinks, meals snack etc.
2nd time round I filled our enormous freezer with pre-cooked tastiness...

Other than that- grobags are great

Oh Niecie - you will be jealous... while I was in hospital, my MIL came and cleaned up for me- I had been too tired/ill when 9mo pg...when I got home everything was sparkling.
Not looking too great now though

someone looking after the other children for a day so I could spend some time getting to know the latest one

i always take a meal round when i visit new parents and baby (something that they can just bung in the microwave, bolognase, chilli, casserole etc, and just have to cook pasta or rice or something to go with it). DH and i just did seem to find the time to cook when DS was really little.

someone helping with housework is also a godsend - washing up, hanging washing out, filling the dishwasher, washing bottles (if they are bottle feeding)

plus something nice for the new mum. got my friend who has just had twins a gift voucher for a massage along with a promise to babysit when she feels up to it.

Made a load of meals that could be frozen for when DH went back to work.

cleaned up house

let me sleeeeeeeeeeeeep

after ds1 I was too shell shocked to really think about what I wanted but after the others I just wanted a bit of time on my own with the newborn to just "be"!!
Gift-wise, a gift voucher for a nice shop is a treat that can be saved for when the new mother is able to go out shopping and really enjoy it
some treat-y food/drink is always quite a treat -something luxurious to eat while b/fing for example
a personalised voucher from you to your friend for you to take her out for a fancy afternoon tea etc on a day that suits her?
Sorry not much more help....good luck TTC

Make lots of cakes
Let me and dh sleep for one night (o a few hrs in the morning)

Food - in fact the best thing ever was when mil turned up at the hospital with some home made caribbean food. I snacked on it all day and it tasted unbelievably delicious - esp. compared with the dire hospital food.

Lots of nice food... cake, biscuits, fruit, fancy bread and deli bits and bobs. I was starving for about a month after I gave birth, I imagine I needed the calories as I was bfing on demand all hours day and night.

Eachpeach

I was neglected.

Even worse DS2 was unexpectedly born at home. I hadn't hoover for a few days and it was really bugging me. My parents, DH and my brother were all there the next day. I dropped copious hints about how the carpet was dirty and needed a good hoover and nobody took the hint. I ended up doing it myself.

Thank goodness the midwife helped change the sheets on our bed as I am sure nobody else would have done it!

Do you see a cleaning theme here?

What I did get after most of my births were meals for the whole family. I think after one of them, we had enough food to last us for over a week.

The other useful thing is for someone to take your toddlers out for a an hour or two.

bought me loads of food - stodgier the better. That and got me a private room at the hospital and been in the spare bedroom quietly and unobtrusively when I got home passing over the baby when it needed fed.

oh an dtold everyone not to come round for a few days

What a lovely friend you are .

I wholeheartedly agree that anything you can do towards helping your friends get a nap, a hot meal, or a clean house is likely to be appreciated.

I would have appreciated an afternoon helping out so I could shower in peace and maybe my friend ordering an indulgent takeaway for us to pig out on. With the promise that if baby got grizzly my friend would help shush the baby so I could eat some food while it was hot! Or an offer of help with the housework or picking up things at the supermarket.

Or if you want to splurge then vouchers for a nice beauty salon with the promise of pushing baby round in the pushchair while mummy has a treat .

Ummm, the food sounds good. I would have liked people checking whether visiting was OK. DH's brother and entire family turned up the evening we got home from the hospital and 3do dd was passed round all for a cuddle whilst I sat there shell shocked. And then no-one else turned up for a fortnight, presumably thinking we wanted to be left in peace. I remember the HV saying she would get out of my hair (wk2) as there was bound to be a queue of visitors coming....

Oooh, and if someone had turned up with a big bag of yummy M+S ready meals to sustain me I would have been over the moon!

I spent a fortune in M+S food hall the weeks after having both my dc's.

I suppose as i had a CS I was in the hospital for a few days so people had already turned up with gifts/flowers etc.

After my c section with ds2 i was desperate for someone to hoover - I have dust mite allergy and at that house I used to spend at least an hour and a half twice a week hoovering every nook and cranny where dust could settle as well as the usual floor dusting etc.
Dp didnt hoover while I was in hosp with baby so I came home to a house full of dust mites already and by 3 weeks was crying down the phone to my mum that dp wouldn't hoover and I was soooo ill, wheezy and water just running out of a nose that felt like it was on fire.

My mum sided with dp!

At two and a half weeks I had tried a bit of dusting and just pushing the hoover nozzle around while sitting on the floor but the lochia came back with a vengeance so I had to rest.

So I'd have loved a couple of hours with a cleaner, which is what I've bought everyone else since when they have a baby!

depends who from.

from a good friend; company. and time. and encouragement to go off and wash while they held the baby .

from anyone else; petit bateau newborn clothes (yum!), very good instant meals, ie from 'Cook', the shop. lots of lovely pictures taken, printed and put in a book (coz thats something i always wanted to get round to doing but didnt)

neals yard arnica bath oil.
manicure
pedicure
haircut and colour
facial

If they have other children, definitely agree with taking other children out for a couple hours for some newborn time.

little hamper of googies to reach across and nibble at while feeding baby/while watching baby sleep in their arms.

Massage/aromatherapy/acupuncture re-balance - esp good if birth was difficult as it can help sort body/soul out a little.

flibberty -the bloody nerve of them!!

yep, that trumps all of my suggestions; a couple of hours cleaning for a few weeks. now THATS a good present - even if you have to club together with others.
perfect.

oo that makes it sound like my dp won't do any housework - he was looking after ds2 and working after I came home, he just isn't into lots of hoovering to my dust mite allergy standards!

Wash the kitchen floor and do the ironing!