Advice needed re ARM /homebirth

[iris66]

I'm expecting DC4 (my very last baby ) at the end of June and have had ARM with all previous deliveries (all in hospital).

After my last delivery the MW said (referring to my membranes) "there's no way these were going to break on their own"

I just wondered if they get thicker with age/more children (I'm 42) or if I'm just unlucky.

I have 2 DCs under 3(1 with serious allergies & intolerances) and I'd really prefer a homebirth but my mw has said she won't do ARM at home because of the risk of damaging the baby (I have a backwards facing cervix too which clearly doesn't help).

I appreciate my mw's position but wondered if she's being overly cautious - any views?

Why did they feel the need to do ARM?

I've had two homebirths, and my waters didn't break with either of them until the very last push, but because labour was progressing ok, the midwives weren't bothered by it.

DD2 was born with her waters intact at home. DSs' only popped when I did a massive push! (He popped out in less than a minute after they had gone!!)

My MW says the waters cushion the contractions and make them a bit more bearable, I don't know how accurate this is though?

Belgo - I think the lack of progression is what has prompted it in the past. I don't think i really get going until my waters have gone.

DC1 - non progression (pethadine stopped everything completely)

DC2 - i was induced via synto drip after a slight water leakage (I had gestational diebates). Again I think it was lack of progression. Established labour for 7hrs, ARM undertaken and DC2 born 2hrs later.

DC3 - Unit was busy for my induction (again, after a slight leakage - protocol for diabetes) so they tried a sweep then left me to bounce/walk around for a while. They tried ARM to hurry things up (I didn't want a drip if avoidable) and were 3rd time lucky. Instant wall to wall contractiona and 2hrs later DC3 arrived.

I'm just worried that if left to my own devices I'd be at it for days

I don't have GD this time (due to be signed off next week) so officially I am "allowed" a homebirth - which I want to take full advantage of if I can.

stretch - the cushioning effect sounds great - I can't wait (and I hope you're right!)
Was it an issue that DD was born with waters intact?

I would start with the home birth and see how you go - you could always request to be transferred if you feel it's going on too long.

I had ARM in hospital with my first birth and spontaneous rupture at home with my second. The contractions did seem a bit more manageable with the second, and the waters didn't go until a a few minutes before birth.

If your two most recent births were induced then I don't think you can necessarily tell what your membranes would do when left to their own devices - you may not have "got going" properly prior to rupture because your body wasn't ready to labour. With spontaneous labour you might find you get very good contractions without needing ARM.

nope the waters not breaking does not make contractions more bearable! My waters broke at the start of labour with my first child, but my second labour was by far the most painful and my waters didn't go until the last push.

Start with the birth as a HB and see; my waters went a bit before ds4's birth (a small elak but then a very fast, precipitous laboour after) and they never did with the other 3, went at 10cm.

Thanks for all your responses .

I think I've just got the impression that my mw isn't really keen on supporting my choice of having a HB (or HB in general TBH)so it's making me question it myself now

Perhaps I'll do a bit of lurking on the HB threads and see if I can get more info on support.

I had two hospital births where the broke my membranes for me immediately before delivery, and just had dc3 at home where the baby was born in the mambranes which ruptured upon hitting the bed! The actual push for dc3 felt no different to the first two, I always though that membranes had to be ruptured before delivery, but this homebirth taught me differently, and the midwives who were present didn't want to intervene/inte4rfere at all.

btw, it's supposed to be lucky for them to be born in the bag, and it's a LOT less messy! Lovekly clean baby, smells different, much better imo!

It wasn't an issue her being born in her waters, she just slid out and the MW gently split them with something, don't know what though, I was too far gone!!!

Sorry Belgo!! I was surprised at how much easier the contractions felt then with DD1. They were sharper IYSWIM? And I had an epidural with DD1 too!!

What lovely positive experiences you've had - thanks . I won't worry about the "waters breaking" issue then!...but will maybe think more about why my mw is clearly being so obstructive

if you feel she is not being supportive then ask to speak to the supervisor of midwives.

your waters do not need to be broken, as has been said already, and your baby can be born in the 'caul' which is very luck apparently ! if the baby is born with the membranes intact the MW will use an instrument to break them and then your baby can be removed from them.

Auntylulu - thanks for the advice