39 weeks and just realised I'm in denial about it!

[FlirtyThirty]

Oh gosh...I have had a real epiphany this afternoon. I am due in a week and it has not sunk in one little bit!

I am not even remotely mentally prepared for labour. Sure I have the bag packed and the 'birth plan' is written, but actually, I don't think I've accepted AT ALL what is going to happen in the next few weeks.

I am calm and relaxed and going about my days as if I'm not even pregnant - working hard, talking about 'normal' stuff - and I've just realised that's it's going to hit me like a bloody steam train when labour actually kicks off! Having desperately wanted a child for so long, I am suddenly seriously concerned about my ability to cope with it all!

I am one of those people who just gets on with stuff and doesn't ask for help (mainly because I hate to admit I need it!)......but in reality I'm absolutely shi**ing myself all of a sudden! The enormity is beginning to dawn on me. This is going to happen...and soon...and I'm suddenly doubting my ability to put on a nappy!? What is wrong with me!

What oh what can I do to prepare myself for labour and those first few weeks in the next 7 days...!?!

you could describe me. i didnt actually believe i was going to have a baby (although it was much longed for), hadnt gone to one antenatal class, had nothing ready.

then went into labour early but everything was chilled and absolutely fine. infact it was quite a laugh at times (still painful but not unbearable).

i think sometimes blissful ignorance is good... once your baby arrives you'll just be fine. honest... just get as much sleep and rest as you can now.

and as for the nappy... i had no idea whatsoever how to put a nappy on, luckily the midwifes in the hospital do ! and you'll get plenty of practice to perfect it.

There is nothing wrong with you! All perfectly normal. Your life is going to change big time and you can't know how it is going to affect you.

I don't think you can prepare. You can do practical things like pack your bag, fill the freezer, prepare the nursery and clean the house from top to bottom and that kind of thing but nothing can really prepare you for labour and being a parent because it is so different for everybody.

The best thing you can do is find out as much as possible about the process of labour. It helps to take the fear away ime.

Knowing that you don't like to ask for help (nor do I) resolve to make sure that you do. The hospital and your midwife will help with the practicalities like changing nappies and giving your baby a bath if you ask them. So will your family and friends if you ask.

And you will cope because you have to, honestly! Good luck and have fun!!

hi flirty!

I could have written your post myself..I am due to be induced next week Tuesday and for some reason it has only just hit me - I will be giving birth and having a baby!! In fact, yesterday I even had a wobbly moment because I wasn't sure if I was ready to have a baby. Er...um...too late to worry about that now (This baby was very much planned and wanted!)

Sorry I have no advise but it is nice to know that what we are feeling is normal.

Niecie and manky, your posts have made me feel much better!

Hey Flirty - You have been missed on the TTC thread!

I am currently racing you for that threads first baby - 38 and a bit weeks!!

I feel EXACTLY the same as you, I think we should have a club and all hold hands together. I do find it quite worrying how many books and stuff there is out there on how to cope with and what to expect when you are pregnant but VERY little on what you actually do with a baby!!!!

I remember approaching the due date with my first and realising I had deliberately not read up too much on labour as it was a bit scary. In retrospect, I wish I had been a bit better read as I could probably have tried to relax more which would possibly have made going into labour naturally more of a likelihood. As it was, my waters went and after no signs of contractions, 40 hours later I was hooked up to syntocin and induced. I wouldn't say it was the nicest way to go about things and, of course, one thing led to another and after accepting an epidural to get some sleep after 5 hours without any pain relief (just 0.5cm dilated), my son was born by ventouse after a 16 hour labour (I had tried pushing for 2 hours to no avail - he was stuck fast, looking the wrong way it seems). I was more relaxed the second and third times and this I think helped me much more. I went into labour spontaneously and had progressively shorter labours with the pushing bit taking a matter of minutes. I now know that being relaxed and calm helps things more than anything. So mental preparation - visualisation - can only be a great help, even for first time mums-to-be. And of course you will be fine looking after the baby when it has arrived. Most people manage to cope well and if you need help, it is there when you need to call upon it. Good luck and I look forward to hearing about baby's arrival!