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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

So, childbirth 12 years after the last one- is it like your first again?

20 replies

duchesse · 17/04/2009 14:42

Has anybody out there had a huge gap between children? Should I expect a 38 hour or a 4 hour job? Will I have firmed up again so much down there that it'll be like the first again? Have been a bit nervous about this recently.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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ab79 · 17/04/2009 17:20

I had a ten year gap between DS1 and DD and only 15 months between DD and DS2. It wasn't as bad as first time as had some knowlege of what was going to happen so didn't feel out of control and knew what to expect.

My 1st was 10lb 8oz and was a really difficult 47hr labour, my 2nd was 7lb 12oz and was a lovely 10hr labour, don't get me wrong still hurt but was in control and my 3rd was 9lb 5oz and over before i knew it in 4 hrs!!!

Don't panic, you have knowlege of the first labour but the gap means that it is just as special as having a baby for the first time again.

You'll be fab

Original poster

duchesse · 17/04/2009 17:33

Wow ab! 10lb 8?? < eye watering emoticon > I thought I was doing well with an 8 lb 12 first baby...

Thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm only just coming to to realise that this baby might actually make it into the world just fine- it's been a long time coming, and I still don't really believe it tbh.

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Northernlurker · 17/04/2009 17:42

I had 9 years between dd1 and dd3 (with dd2 6 years before dd3). The labour was very similar in length and agony to that with dd2. Basically once you've birthed, you've birthed, your body knows what patterns to follow and finds those routes a bit easier every 'next time'. Doesn't mean it feels any better though! I would be very surprised if you were there for 36 hours. I was a bit worried about all those 'waters broke and then I was having the baby in the post office two minutes later' type stories but I needn't have been. Dd2 and dd3 both took a nice steady 8 hours. Dd3 was also my smallest baby at 7lbs 15oz.

becaroo · 17/04/2009 17:44

I had just over 5 years between my dc and in my experience the second time was much harder - for lots of reasons.

Physically a much harder pregnancy - I am 36 - and I had one or two problems i.e. anaemia, suspected premature labour and polyhydramnois. I was in labour for about 20 hours with ds1. With ds2 it was 4 days On the plus side, after they broke my waters I went from 4cms to delivered in 3 hours, so not bad from that point of view. Much bigger baby 2nd time too so a bad tear.....and you know what?????....

....I'd do it all again tomorrow! Good luck x

ab79 · 17/04/2009 17:52

It scared the pants off me when I was pregnant again, people giving me horror stories of how babies get bigger each time... gulp!

It's a magical and scary time having babies. tbh you've done it the right way round, you have ready made baby entertainers, sitters and help.

Your baby will benefit so much from the older ones and they will love having little one around.

becaroo · 17/04/2009 17:54

That is very true ab79...ds1 ADORES his baby brother

Original poster

duchesse · 18/04/2009 10:53

Well so far, my older children have been spectacularly uninterested in their potential new brother or sister! I hope suspect that may change once s/he is actually here.

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reikizen · 18/04/2009 11:03

Where I work the midwives work on the rule of thumb that 10 years+ between children means it will be more like a first labour again. Not based on any evidence, just experience. But having said that as a previous poster remarked, your body has birthed before and I looked after a woman in labour who already had a 16 + 17 year old and she whizzed along and had a beautiful delivery using just entonox. We are all diiferent that's all I know for sure!

Kinderella · 18/04/2009 11:29

I had a fifteen year old when I gave birth to my second. First delivery was very hard on me although straightforward. 8 hours, but very, very hard to cope, a nightmare experience in fact.

Second read up on everything, used hypnotherapy cds as was terrified. Second was so much easier. Body definately remembered how to do it. Much easier/less painful, didn't know i was in real labour until 10 cms! 1/2 hour before he was actually born! 2 1/2 hour labour in total.

I was afraid everything would be like first time also, but your body will remember. xx

Mamulik · 19/04/2009 17:56

second baby was much bigger, so prepare yourself for lots of pain

Original poster

duchesse · 19/04/2009 21:21

Mamulik- my first was the biggest so far, by well over a pound. Unless I develop gestational diabetes I'm not expecting this one to be bigger than 8 lb 12 oz!

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ab79 · 20/04/2009 21:54

Each baby is different as is each pregnancy. You will be fine before you know it you'll have a beautiful bundle and labour will be a distant memory.

Labour is what it says, labour, bloomin hard work but so worth it. And yes we all know that it hurts but it doesn't last forever. You've done it before so you know you can do it again.

Try not to worry as easy as it is for me to say, just focus on that first cuddle and meeting your gorgeous baby.

BananaFruitBat · 20/04/2009 21:56

Sil's first is now 18, I don't know how long her labour was.

I do know that her second, now 4, was 20 minutes.

Original poster

duchesse · 21/04/2009 11:28

20 minutes sounds good! I'd go for that.

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Ninjacat · 21/04/2009 18:10

Hi duchess congratulations on your pg.
I am 9weeks with pg2 and my son is 12yrs. He cried and was a bit angry when we told him (hadn't really expected that) but he seems more comfortable with it now. How are your older ones adjusting? I don't think it helped that he had been doing sex ed at school recently.
I had a horrendous labour with DS who was 9lb 12oz so really hope they don't get bigger!
Best of luck!

pagwatch · 21/04/2009 18:13

I had DD ten years after my first.
It was fine. Much faster and she was a bit bigger than DS2 but great as I was really calm and relaxed about the whole thing - having had ten years of being a mum

pagwatch · 21/04/2009 18:13

forgot to add congrats

Original poster

duchesse · 22/04/2009 08:15

Ninja- no tears from my older children here, but they have been very quiet about the whole business and I can tell they're embarrassed. As the weeks pass though, I can feel them softening, although they haven't actually said anything yet. My youngest (11) was happy, not least because as she saw it, she would no longer be youngest!

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Original poster

duchesse · 22/04/2009 08:15

Thanks pagwatch!

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BunnyAndJoon · 22/04/2009 09:36

Congrats on the PG

I had just over 10 years between my first and second, and the second was much easier as I wasn't so young and terrified, but somewhat bolloxed up by the midwives refusing to believe that I was having proper contractions (I had been in for a few days after my waters broke at 36+3) Cue day shift coming on, finally agreeing to examine me, and running me down to the delivery room in a wheelchair. He was born 45 minutes later, so officially (on my notes) I had a 45 min labour

Then I waited 8.5 years for the next one. It was sooooooooo much better than either of the others. Mostly because I felt in control. I knew what to expect. I had her in hospital (I got pregnant with a mirena coil in place so wanted to be in the safest place in case that had caused any problems) but went home at 10.00 am having had her at 1 ish. I had a very chilled out MW, who chose her name for us

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